How would you deal with the "wannabee baller" friend?

Saltricks · Jul 27, 2010

Hmmm, I guess I could throw around some of the characters/ideas from the book here. It's not just this guy, I have a whole stable of weird friends of mine. Some gems:

The smelly cheap roomate who was afraid of onions
the foreign exchange student who was super messy and had ties to the yakuza
the obsessive fatso liar who lied to his mom about where he was going to college
The eclectic "artist", who had no talent and thought that red trenchcoats and bowling shoes were a fashion statement
The overly sensitive dude who was *****whipped and basically neutered himself for a girl only to get cuckolded after a 2 year relationship

Xericx · Jul 27, 2010

Originally Posted by volatility smile

What the ****, how do you grow up into someone like that? ****.

Xericx · Jul 27, 2010

Originally Posted by Saltricks

Hmmm, I guess I could throw around some of the characters/ideas from the book here. It's not just this guy, I have a whole stable of weird friends of mine. Some gems:

The smelly cheap roomate who was afraid of onions
the foreign exchange student who was super messy and had ties to the yakuza
the obsessive fatso liar who lied to his mom about where he was going to college
The eclectic "artist", who had no talent and thought that red trenchcoats and bowling shoes were a fashion statement
The overly sensitive dude who was *****whipped and basically neutered himself for a girl only to get cuckolded after a 2 year relationship

meh, don't spread yourself so thin. the wannabe baller is money!

sho'nuff · Jul 27, 2010

Originally Posted by Xericx

meh, don't spread yourself so thin. the wannabe baller is money!

agreed. those topics will wind up on some bargain book clearance table outside in a parking lot in front of an old b dalton.

continue with your douchebag friend for true lolz

Saltricks · Jul 27, 2010

actually his parents were very lenient with him, and he's an only child. He never did well in school and never showed the typical asian stereotypes. I don't think he had the typical asian upbringing. But I find it interesting that he exhibits the "asian jersey shore" type personality.

A lot of his stories are actually him growing up. I guess I should have known that he was gonna turn out weird.

acidboy · Jul 27, 2010

^ mommy must've breast fed him once too many. must be hard for the guy to spend so much and still remain a virgin.

jerms24k · Jul 27, 2010

Oh my God, I need moar. These stories are too funny to be made up. I don't think anyone could invent a character so unbelievable.

TheButler · Jul 27, 2010

Originally Posted by Saltricks

Is douchefriend going to lure me to his apartment and axe me to death to the sounds of phil collin's susudio? Only time will tell.
I'm quite certain sociopaths prefer "In the Air Tonight" by our diminutive friend, accompanied by holding your head underwater in the bathtub.

Good stories though.

tagutcow · Jul 27, 2010

Originally Posted by Saltricks

Anyway, she gets him to try on these clothes that are obviously too big, obviously too expensive, and obviously sewn by a colorblind mental patient with stubby fingers, but she convinced him to buy it because of the big versace logo on the back. He clumsily tried to ask her out on a date, but she said she was busy (the sale was closed at that point). So began the night of terror.

BDC89435 should learn a thing or two from you about telling a ******* story.

Dakota rube · Jul 27, 2010

Originally Posted by Saltricks

...douchefriend had been visiting from North Dakota (he was going to school there another funny story).

Okay. Just need to point out here that douchefriend just went to school here. We didn't spawn him; we didn't raise him; we had nothing to do with him being him.

acidboy · Jul 28, 2010

Originally Posted by Dakota rube

Okay. Just need to point out here that douchefriend just went to school here. We didn't spawn him; we didn't raise him; we had nothing to do with him being him.

North Dakota polished him into the diamond that he is now.

robertorex · Jul 28, 2010

This thread is one of those rare ones that took a turn for the pretty good.

nerdykarim · Jul 28, 2010

Originally Posted by robertorex

This thread is one of those rare ones that took a turn for the pretty good.

Originally Posted by gomestar

..................

.

..........,_|
.....=====*---|
... ,/,\\ ...,/,\\ .../*\\

+1. Even the intermission was hilarious.

gomestar · Jul 28, 2010

I thought this thread was leaning to dead, hence the intermission.

But like a Phoenix, this thread is rising from itself into new life and new entertainment.

sonick · Jul 28, 2010

Originally Posted by Xericx

meh, don't spread yourself so thin. the wannabe baller is money!

+1, forget the book, poast stories of asian doosh here for our own free enjoyment!

How would you deal with the "wannabee baller" friend?

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