Q. My question is, what can I do (if I even need to), to stand out, without destroying the black-tie ensemble. It seems to me that black-tie by nature allows for little variation. I suppose I could go white tie but I would rather not. Instead, I would like to purchase a high quality, traditional tux that I can use in the future. Not sure if it matters, but the wedding ceremony will be in a NYC church.
Any ideas, input, from this community would be much appreciated. The early response is that I should stick with traditional black tie.
Thanks in advance!
A1. (By @aravenel) You do not need to be differentiated. No one is going to mistake you for anyone other than the groom.
If you really want to, get a boutonniere, or one of a different color than the groomsmen. But don't go screwing with the black-tie basics and wear a colored cummerbund or something--that's insta-fail.
A2. (By @ImTheGroom) There are some ways to stand apart, without ruining black tie. You could ask your groomsmen to wear cummerbunds, while you wear a waistcoat, or vice versa. You could add a boutonniere, or add a pocket square for a splash of colour. You could also wear a homburg - it would be under your arm in the church, of course, not on your head. www.blacktieguide.com is a good resource, and includes pages on where you can add some individuality to your ensemble.
A3. (By @archibaldleach) Vodwat, stick with traditional black tie. There is no need as the groom to differentiate yourself because everyone will know you're the groom. Acceptable variations on black tie largely center around the jacket (SB peak lapel, SB shawl lapel, DB peak lapel, DB shawl lapel OR midnight blue / black), cufflinks / studs used, patent oxfords vs. opera pumps, wing vs. turndown collar for a peak lapel tuxedo, pleat front vs. marcella front shirt. You could wear something differentiated, but (1) it looks odd to have everyone wear the same thing except the groom IMO and (2) if everyone is wearing their own tuxedo, there's going to be some variation so you'll just appear to be wearing one version of black tie among many.
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