Feeling like you live alone

Since the past year or two i feel like i am always alone. I dont hang out with any of my old friends anymore, i have no girlfriend. I'm the only one left at home living with my parents, half the time we are all in separate rooms. When i put in a few hours at work its in an office where i am by myself. I commute to college and i just go in and out of class, i dont really talk or socialize with anyone. There are days where the only words out of my mouth are hello, good afternoon, and good bye.

I've thought about making new friends but i'm depressed(from other reasons) so much that half the time i find it hard for me to have fun, even when i want too.

Its really weird having a lifestyle like this, especially in your college years. In the past i always had friends and a social life .I've been trying to coach myslef into getting used to it. I do things alone and sometimes on weekends i just hop in my car and hit the road. But driving around by yourself gets really boring after a while...I cant do bars and clubs so going alone is not even an option.


I'm sure theres others out there who live sort of like this, its a part of the reason why i get so much entertainment on internet forums, lol

Sometimes everyone has to kick their own ass.

seriously, get yourself to a therapist. this is exactly what therapy is for. this is not the way a guy in college should live. do it fast, while you can still get something out of your life.

ask yourself why youre not talking to your friends anymore? is it you? or is it them? you should go the extra mile to keep in contact because with out friends life is really crap.

seriously, get yourself to a therapist. this is exactly what therapy is for. this is not the way a guy in college should live. do it fast, while you can still get something out of your life.

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yeah I dont really buy into that Zach. I kinda think if you want to get out more, get out more. If you want to be more active, be more active. If you want to meet more people, leave your bedroom.

Ive been there myself (in my early days in VN I was miserable and posting on here like crazy...my life had minimal rolling back then) and really the only answer was to drag ****** out and do some stuff. Joined a running club, joined a boxing gym, joined some business societies, made some friends etc....and my life is all the better for it. Hell, youve hung out with me a few times, kinda can't go anywhere without seeing friends in this town now, and that is all cos I kicked my own ass two years ago.

I'm not sure that telling a therapist all the reasons I find it hard to meet people and Project The Real Me To The World would have brought me any more benefit than joining the local Hash House Harriers and sweating a Sunday afternoon away did.

Originally Posted by m@T

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yeah I dont really buy into that Zach. I kinda think if you want to get out more, get out more. If you want to be more active, be more active. If you want to meet more people, leave your bedroom.

Ive been there myself (in my early days in VN I was miserable and posting on here like crazy...my life had minimal rolling back then) and really the only answer was to drag ****** out and do some stuff. Joined a running club, joined a boxing gym, joined some business societies, made some friends etc....and my life is all the better for it. Hell, youve hung out with me a few times, kinda can't go anywhere without seeing friends in this town now, and that is all cos I kicked my own ass two years ago.

I'm not sure that telling a therapist all the reasons I find it hard to meet people and Project The Real Me To The World would have brought me any more benefit than joining the local Hash House Harriers and sweating a Sunday afternoon away did.


maybe, but keep in mind, Matt, that you also went halfway around the world when you were 18, and then went off to singapore to start a career, and then moved to a new country to start an office, and run a successful office in a non-native country at age, what, 27? 28? when you took over. this is a guy in his late teens, early twenties who is living at home with no friends. he might need some help.

I have gotten therapy twice - once, to over-simplify, to deal with issues that had to do with post tramatic stress. I can honestly say I would never have gotten married if I hadn't done that. later, when I wanted to move to the states, my wife asked me to talk to a therapist to evaluate my reasoning, and while I was pissed off at her about it, I did it, and I found it valuable.

sometimes peope need help. getting it early is better than getting it late. there is no shame in getting help when you need it. yes, a kick ********** is needed, the question is where the op can give himself that kick, or should get a pro to do it for him.

the OP is exactly how my life was when i was in college. It got better once I got out. I look back on those days with some nostalgia, even shed a tear on my graduation day...not for the things that I will miss, but rather for lost time and missed opportunities, somewhat of a wasted youth. I look back on myself in those 4 years now and saw a boy who was frustrated, lost, and clueless, I don't believe in regrets but if there's one thing I have some hint of regret for, it was this. Having been through that, my advice to you is really try to change your situation as fast as possible through any means necessary. I don't think college should be one's best years, but if you can have a helluva time when you're there, it makes for better trips down memory lane.

If you're in college try joining some of the societies to do with your interests, and your course should have a social society too. They will hold regular social events, and they are full of people who don't know each other.

Also, if its affordable, see if you can find a cheap place to live with some fellow students - even if you get a small box room in a slum you'll be out of home and have housemates around the same age.

Again, maybe a job on campus would be better than your current one, depending on availability, but worth keeping an eye out for openings.

I'm alone a lot myself, though I do have a girlfriend who lives with me.

I do enjoy random conversations with strangers.

Troy, I think globetrotter has some good points in why you might want to look into a therapist...

btw,

what does it mean to not believe in regrets? I can understand not dwelling on them, but not having any at all? sounds like an issue in and of itself.

Troy, you say you're depressed, and having a hard time getting out of it. Definitely go see a therapist. Depression tends to be progressive and can really wreck your life. The goal is not merely to go and do things/ meet people, but to actaully want to. Forcing yourself to do things won't make you any happier, which is what you're really after (if you really were the type of person who prefers being alone all the time you wouldn't have made this post). Go, get better, enjoy life, eh? (In short I agree with globe), Huntsman

If it weren't for my fiance, I'd feel the exact same way man. Cheer up Troy.

One thing to keep in mind though, is that the phone works both way. Often times, I will get bummed that I don't hang with any of my old friends anymore. I feel like they abandoned me. I hope that they'll call me to hang out and then they don't. I just gotta remind myself that I could call them to hang out but I don't. If I did, I probably wouldn't feel that way.

Originally Posted by slycedbred

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btw,

what does it mean to not believe in regrets? I can understand not dwelling on them, but not having any at all? sounds like an issue in and of itself.

well, i'm not talking in a moral sense (i.e. hypothetically having killed someone and having 'no regret' about it - yes that would be an issue)...i mean, what is the use of dwelling on the past? The moment is now, as it always is. Thinking about how good or bad about something was in the past is one of the most useless things one can do for the self in the present.

If you really think you are depressed, therapy is of course an option, but I think the vast majority of young people feel "depressed" at some point and that's not generally serious. 99% of people are perfectly capable of living their life without therapy or drugs and that living includes "depressions" and mood changes.

I'm going with globetrotter on this one. Go see somebody, and the quicker the better. I used to think therapy was a crock, a crutch, whatever. Two-plus years ago, when I hit bottom, there was no way up without some professional help. My family and friends weren't enough. I went back for a little "detailing" about six months after I finished up my first series of sessions and my therapist told me I didn't need her any more.