midijunkie
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- Sep 15, 2011
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The unholy alchemy of denim and gaming has yielded this philosopher's stone of consumerism, materialism and artificial scarcity. Edwin's El Shaddai 503ZERO jeans, aka marketing fetish pr0n you can wear, or just hoard, folded up neatly beneath a Haruhi Suzumiya body pillow. That is, if you can find them in the first place. Which you can't. Or I can't anyway. And maybe you can. That's what I'm hoping for. Everything depends on it.
I have been sent with a message: The revelation was given unto me that the sheer energy given off by the collision of the massive cosmic bodies that are the denim elite and the completist otaku threatens to tear apart our entire universe. Like spiraling, insatiable black holes relentlessly pursuing some pure, formal ideal most have never even heard of, they even now approach a critical mass. Only by helping me obtain a pair of these jeans wherein I can bond with their quantum essence and absorb all of their sanforized, non-selvedge pre-washed pre-faded power can any of us hope to repair the damage already done to the fabric of our reality, sparing ourselves from The Judgement and thereby saving all of our Real Jeans from premature wear, boring fades, failed hems and embarrassing snark. Clad in this armor, I will become something that both these forces can hate, redirecting their energy and restoring balance for the greater good. Despised simultaneously because "Edwin sucks" and for actually wearing them instead of hoarding/collecting, all will be righted that has gone so very wrong. But as for me, I will repeat the simple mantra: NO PROBLEM EVERYTHING'S FINE.
Either the Enoch or the Lucifel model. Prefer size 34 but will consider 32.
I have been sent with a message: The revelation was given unto me that the sheer energy given off by the collision of the massive cosmic bodies that are the denim elite and the completist otaku threatens to tear apart our entire universe. Like spiraling, insatiable black holes relentlessly pursuing some pure, formal ideal most have never even heard of, they even now approach a critical mass. Only by helping me obtain a pair of these jeans wherein I can bond with their quantum essence and absorb all of their sanforized, non-selvedge pre-washed pre-faded power can any of us hope to repair the damage already done to the fabric of our reality, sparing ourselves from The Judgement and thereby saving all of our Real Jeans from premature wear, boring fades, failed hems and embarrassing snark. Clad in this armor, I will become something that both these forces can hate, redirecting their energy and restoring balance for the greater good. Despised simultaneously because "Edwin sucks" and for actually wearing them instead of hoarding/collecting, all will be righted that has gone so very wrong. But as for me, I will repeat the simple mantra: NO PROBLEM EVERYTHING'S FINE.
Either the Enoch or the Lucifel model. Prefer size 34 but will consider 32.
