Things your dumb friends post on facebook

what my friend posted

"Funny how it's always the woman with fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake boobs....that have the audacity to scream "Girrrrrrrrl ain't no real men out here!"

another one of his posts

"Finds it ironic that in The Karate Kid movie Jaden Smith was chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool, and shootin' some b-ball outside of the school, when a couple of guys - they were up to no good, started making trouble in the neighborhood. He got in one little fight and his mom got scared and said "You gotta learn karate from the maintenance man downstairs."



Texasmade said:

"Finds it ironic that in The Karate Kid movie Jaden Smith was chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool, and shootin' some b-ball outside of the school, when a couple of guys - they were up to no good, started making trouble in the neighborhood. He got in one little fight and his mom got scared and said "You gotta learn karate from the maintenance man downstairs."

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That's actually pretty good

Texasmade said:

what my friend posted
"Funny how it's always the woman with fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake boobs....that have the audacity to scream "Girrrrrrrrl ain't no real men out here!"
another one of his posts
"Finds it ironic that in The Karate Kid movie Jaden Smith was chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool, and shootin' some b-ball outside of the school, when a couple of guys - they were up to no good, started making trouble in the neighborhood. He got in one little fight and his mom got scared and said "You gotta learn karate from the maintenance man downstairs."

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made me laugh



babylon said:

made me laugh

 

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Another clever post of his.

"Now my friends all hate me because I’ve been keeping my enemies closer."

He usually posts funny things when he actually posts.

Someone posted a photo of from food from a red lobster. 3 different kinds of sad looking shrimp (is anything beside the fried stuff not sad looking?), a pot of what I can only imagine is melted butter, and a pile of old looking green beans.

"my mum took me to red lobster to celebrate my job!"

7 likes
comments include:

"Yum!" (2 likes)
"Droooooool" (2 likes)
"What did you order? I am so getting that next time"
"I knew it was RL!!! Which one did you go to? My girl works at the one in [hometown]" - posted by a girl oOoOoOo
"Numm!! That looks amazing!!" (1 like)

^^ I know this is going to sound extraordinarily bougie, even for SF, but it makes me a little sad that people view Red Lobster as a picture-worthy dining experience. I avoid it at nearly all costs*, but I can see where people whose idea of good seafood is shrimp cocktail and cod would enjoy it. Even so, I can't help but be a little disturbed that some people find it to be so upscale/delicious that it warrants documentation.




*I do have to admit that those cheese/bread ball things they give you are indulgently tasty, but I've yet to find a way to get those without having to also consume other food items.



otc said:

Someone posted a photo of from food from a red lobster. 3 different kinds of sad looking shrimp (is anything beside the fried stuff not sad looking?), a pot of what I can only imagine is melted butter, and a pile of old looking green beans.
"my mum took me to red lobster to celebrate my job!"
7 likes
comments include:
"Yum!" (2 likes)
"Droooooool" (2 likes)
"What did you order? I am so getting that next time"
"I knew it was RL!!! Which one did you go to? My girl works at the one in [hometown]" - posted by a girl oOoOoOo
"Numm!! That looks amazing!!" (1 like)

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I despise when anyone takes a photo of their plate in a restaurant and puts it on facebook.

Work and Education
Employers

Full Time Milf

lap dancer, n stripper

Being a Full-Time Mommy & Wife <3

Stalking Stalkers

Favorite Quotations 1. keep friends and family close and enemy's even closer 2. what dosn't kill me better run 3. 1 day just not today i will get ur ass 4. there are 3 sides 2 every story 5.

(Side note--she must be a fan of Rick Perry. ZING)

One of her "likes": ife is better when you have God in it! Press Like if you agree! =)


mea and my babys

love love love my 5 children 3boys(17,16,9) 2 girls(14,6) love BBQ's,lake,kids football games,and walks, music and tattos are my ultimite passion's i have round 20 tatts . if im not the #1girl in my mans life then he will be #0 in mine.i love and insist on most all the attention from my husband.
(being a leo and all.) i dream of living near the ocean one day.im a lover not a fighter but if pushed i pop!.drugs are a yesterday 4 me they ruined my life.but i do drink from time to time bars pool tables music and dancing is my time to shine. i highly dislike liars cheaters and snitches.happy funny people make my day my hubby is the funniest person i know.ive had a very rough life and it has made compasionate 2 others as well. although whiners piss me off. i belive in good and bad carma alike. god is my rock!.i am a german irish girl who is proud 2 be white and a us citizen . the worst thing about me is im unforgiving (depending on person) i have potential to seek vengance.iam brutaly honest. i dont like baggage.the best things bout me are i love to help people that are near and dear to me. i am not money hungry but expect my partner to be able 2 take care of me. i am 37 but feel 25. life of the party is the title givin 2 me by others. MY family is my life!!!.



MrG said:

^^ I know this is going to sound extraordinarily bougie, even for SF, but it makes me a little sad that people view Red Lobster as a picture-worthy dining experience. I avoid it at nearly all costs*, but I can see where people whose idea of good seafood is shrimp cocktail and cod would enjoy it. Even so, I can't help but be a little disturbed that some people find it to be so upscale/delicious that it warrants documentation.
*I do have to admit that those cheese/bread ball things they give you are indulgently tasty, but I've yet to find a way to get those without having to also consume other food items.

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Yesterday after posting that, I was struck with an idea. I am thinking about creating some sort of small website (with a functional mobile version or dedicated apps) that helps people like us deal with Red Lobster.

something like "IfYouAreForcedAgainstYourWill.com"...

It would feature menu suggestions for when you have to eat at a place like Red Lobster or Applebees...be it for a work-related reason or at the behest of a friend for a birthday party or something. These would not be suggestions from someone like that facebook poster who is obviously not a reliable source, but instead be from people who know the food is crap.

At red lobster I might suggest sticking with things like fried shrimp (and the cheddar biscuits). I haven't been to one since maybe 9th grade but shrimp freezes well, deep frying is pretty hard to mess up, and you know you won't get some weird reconstituted lobster product like in the pastas.

Could also provide some basic tactics:
When choosing items, flip the script from how you normally order. I've seen a critic (bittman?) suggest that at new restaurants, you should try for the things that are a little different. The fried calamari is there just to placate people and will taste the same as everywhere else (may be from the same freezer bag as everywhere else) while the kind of funky sounding item you have never seen before is probably the chef's own idea which they are proud of and will try to make as good as possible; same goes for entrees, lots of places only have a roast chicken because some people won't eat anything else but the weird flavor combo on the pork loin dish is probably something effort will be put into.
However, at these crapass places, you should change it up a bit.
-The fried mozzarella sticks and onion rings are going to be good because they came out of a freezer bag and were dropped into a deep fryer with a timer.
-The most generic of pastas are probably something that they have figured out (or boiled in a bag olive garden style).
-The roast chicken is probably still a bad idea...but only because at these places it is always going to be overdone and dry (same probably applies to anything where cooking time is very important like a medium-rare burger which will show up well-done). Instead go with something like Chiles fajitas where the beef is fine to be cooked through and a lot of the flavor comes from things like rice and beans that are hard to screw up.

The idea isn't to guide you to the healthiest options (probably the opposite) but to get you some food that tastes reasonably ok so you aren't choking down bits of dry chewy chicken while your waiter serves you a macrobrew with a few pieces of flare.

Only problem is that to do this well, I would have to eat at these places. Sometimes we get some terrible choices in my office dinner order but on the days where the secretary who ends up on the evening shift picks applebees...I get the hell out of there even if I still have work to do (since trying to choose decent food that travels well *AND* comes from applebees is impossible)

Holy crap... this is one crazy broad.

Is there such a thing as being pathetically bourgeois? Perhaps the food equivalent of a fashion victim?



otc said:

(brilliance)

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This is seriously brilliant. The few times I've been stuck in one of those places, Applebee's in particular, I end up staring at the menu trying to figure out what's palatable. Such a website would be perfect for pulling up on my phone and pointing me in the right direction.

Also, WRT the "I'd have to eat there" conundrum. Well, all I can say is, "better you than me!"

The crazy thing, at least for me, is the fact that I'm not really that picky about a lot of my food. I love Waffle House, and I'm pretty sure Chick-Fil-A has magical hangover curing powers. I also love nice restaurants and/or smaller local restaurants with character. However, I can't stand the in-betweens. Either give me crap without pretense or great food at a price; don't try to sell me a carbon-copy atmosphere with food at $11.95 a plate that's not fundamentally better than a Whopper.

HgaleK said:

Is there such a thing as being pathetically bourgeois? Perhaps the food equivalent of a fashion victim?

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Yes. Anyone who uses the term "foodie" would qualify.

^^ dude, what's wrong with just saying "NO" (or in my case, NFW) once in a while. I'm pretty relaxed about these things but even I draw the line here and there.



Thomas said:

^^ dude, what's wrong with just saying "NO" (or in my case, NFW) once in a while. I'm pretty relaxed about these things but even I draw the line here and there.

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+1 I draw the line at Chili's or Applebees. I can get a piece of steamed or grilled fish at Red Lobster. I just have them KEEP THOSE ******* BISCUITS AWAY FROM ME, lest I eat all of them.

I'm dying to go back to Buffalo and pig out on ****** restaurants in the US and be a gluttonous pig. Chili's is on my list. I will also look out for a sonic or a checkers.