Ridiculous s**t you have done for money.

Originally Posted by Bergdorf Goodwill

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Is it illegal to write papers for people who are pursuing professional degrees?

One of those situations where it is not illegal for you the writer, but it will probably end badly for the person using said paper if discovered.

Originally Posted by Bergdorf Goodwill

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Photos?

+ hey wait a minute you did this for money?

I don't think I have any pictures since this was back in 98/99. I was working in fish processing and they had a bunch of those big dumpsters they had converted into bunkhouses.

I... had sex with a *****.

Originally Posted by Piobaire

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One of those situations where it is not illegal for you the writer, but it will probably end badly for the person using said paper if discovered.

I wish I had ready access to these people's information so I could blackmail them and siphon a bit more off of those sweet, sweet ill-gotten gains. If only you knew the hopeless dropout who'd written your papers, my darlings.

I sold butterfly knives to kids in high school.

Originally Posted by texas_jack

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I don't think I have any pictures since this was back in 98/99. I was working in fish processing and they had a bunch of those big dumpsters they had converted into bunkhouses.

That rules. I thought about trying to work as a janitor in Antarctica or something, but I don't know if I am adept enough at cleaning the **** of normals to clean the **** of scientists.

Originally Posted by sonick

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I... had sex with a *****.

Did you win your fraternity's hogging pool or something?

Originally Posted by sonick

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I... had sex with a *****.

Originally Posted by Bergdorf Goodwill

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Photos?

+ hey wait a minute you did this for money?

Originally Posted by Bergdorf Goodwill

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I wish I had ready access to these people's information so I could blackmail them and siphon a bit more off of those sweet, sweet ill-gotten gains. If only you knew the hopeless dropout who'd written your papers, my darlings.

Plus you'd have the opportunity to try to slip in embarrassing stuff to see if they caught it.
The elevator in our building has one of those obnoxious screens where they put up weather forecasts, news headlines, etc. (I think the system is called "Captivate", emphasis on "Captiv") as an excuse for bombarding you with 132 seconds of additional advertising per day as you ride the elevators. Periodically they have a "word of the day" feature -- you know, so we can improve ourselves while riding the elevator.

One day the word was "ordure". The definition given was "foul language". I kid you not.
So, ok, mildly funny that the "word of the day" definition is not quite right, especially given the word they choose. But they also give a usage example -- the old "use it in a sentence" from grammar school. The usage example for "ordure" (based on their working definition, of course) was:

The substitute teacher was shocked by the students' use of ordure in the classroom.
I nearly wet myself laughing. I felt like Mandy Patinkin in Princess Bride: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Some intern or employee on their way to greener pastures earned my admiration that day.

Originally Posted by lawyerdad

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Plus you'd have the opportunity to try to slip in embarrassing stuff to see if they caught it.

Speechwriters like to amuse themselves by doing this from time to time. The thing is, in one instance in about 500, it actually gets through. And then you have a real problem.

Originally Posted by lawyerdad

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Plus you'd have the opportunity to try to slip in embarrassing stuff to see if they caught it.
The elevator in our building has one of those obnoxious screens where they put up weather forecasts, news headlines, etc. (I think the system is called "Captivate", emphasis on "Captiv") as an excuse for bombarding you with 132 seconds of additional advertising per day as you ride the elevators. Periodically they have a "word of the day" feature -- you know, so we can improve ourselves while riding the elevator.

One day the word was "ordure". The definition given was "foul language". I kid you not.
So, ok, mildly funny that the "word of the day" definition is not quite right, especially given the word they choose. But they also give a usage example -- the old "use it in a sentence" from grammar school. The usage example for "ordure" (based on their working definition, of course) was:

The substitute teacher was shocked by the students' use of ordure in the classroom.
I nearly wet myself laughing. I felt like Mandy Patinkin in Princess Bride: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Some intern or employee on their way to greener pastures earned my admiration that day.

I have not been privy to such an elevator -- perhaps you should destroy it. I am a big fan of everyday people smashing things that disrupt. When someone pulled the newly-installed traffic cameras out of the ground here, I was ecstatic.

I thought those damned elevators were only in Manhattan, and quite recent. Our building is just getting them.

I suspect that -- like most contributors to the ubiquitous media environment -- it originated in Japan.

Once while in drag, I had sex with a guy who thought I was just a fat woman.

Wrote and sold college admission essays (biographies etc) while in high school.
Sold Playboy/Penthouse to 7th graders, also while in high school

I guess they were more examples of an entrepreneurial spirit than "ridiculous ****," that is, until I got caught by the 7th graders' parents.

One spring I taught Tae Kwon Do as a junior instructor. That was the first time I experienced assignment creep as my duties expanded from warm-ups, to instructing, to locking up the joint at night. The head of the place locked himself in his office and ate Subway while I taught for 2-3 hours a night. I was 16 at the time (brown belt) so I had all the energy in the world, but school suffered a bit. Head reprobate never had the cash to pay me until I quit on him, and he finally paid up.

After that I never again visited a dojo.

Originally Posted by Bergdorf Goodwill

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I have not been privy to such an elevator -- perhaps you should destroy it. I am a big fan of everyday people smashing things that disrupt. When someone pulled the newly-installed traffic cameras out of the ground here, I was ecstatic.

Soon enough, it'll be the privy, too.