Grizzly Bear VS Silverback Gorrila

Originally Posted by JLibourel

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One would have to wonder about his sanity, though. Being stuffed for hours, seriously injured, into a black hole with two decomposing human bodies while waiting for a pitiless carnivorous monster to return and devour you would be enough to inflict a helluva case of post-traumatic stress on the strongest of spirits, I should think.

Jeepers, never mind him. That story is enough to give me nightmares...

Originally Posted by Tokyo Slim

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Sumo "champ"??? laughable. Champ of Halo2 maybe.

But even Akebono probably couldn't budge that Orangutan... though I'd like to see him try.

How about a navy seal versus a chimp?




"I think that chimpanzee has an attitude"

The chimp in the video didn't look as if it were trying as hard as the SEAL. I know of two incidents in which U.S. Navy SEALs were defeated by animals.

A chap I knew was a bodyguard for the Saudi Prince Bandar. He also bred Standard Poodles. The USAF has used trained Standard Poodles for base security. One time, a number of years ago, a detachment of SEALs attempted an infilitration of an Air Force base in Turkey as a training exercise. As they were going inside the perimeter, the poodles got them! The SEALs couldn't kill or maim the poodles since they were valuable government property. The end of it was that the poodles bit the hell out of the SEALs and chased them a long way--a ludicrous image to be sure.

Standard Poodles can be pretty tough dogs. My wife had two Standard Poodle b#tches when we met. About four months before we got married, the poodles, who had had some savage fights previously, had a terrific fight. The older poodle was so badly injured Sally had to have her put down. A few years later, I got a little female Tosa puppy. The surviving poodle was very cruel to her, slashing her with her fangs. Eventually, after she had grown up, the Tosa decided it was payback time and left the poodle for dead. I had about $650 in vet bills to patch the poodle up and other $350 in clean up bills. There was blood and dogsh#t all over the house. The Tosa suffered a broken dewclaw in the fight--that was all.

Getting back to the SEALs, Herschel Davis, who was senior noncom of the SEALs for some years and sometimes appears in TV shows about the outfit, told us this story when I was training at Gunsite Ranch: He was leading a detachment of SEALs on a training exercise in the Panamanian jungle, when they angered a swarm of bees. Shouting, "Killer bees!" these fearsome elite fighting men beat a pell-mell retreat down the jungle trails. Davis said he found it hilarious to see these big, tough frogmen routed by bees!

Originally Posted by JLibourel

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Getting back to the SEALs, Herschel Davis, who was senior noncom of the SEALs for some years and sometimes appears in TV shows about the outfit, told us this story when I was training at Gunsite Ranch: He was leading a detachment of SEALs on a training exercise in the Panamanian jungle, when they angered a swarm of bees. Shouting, "Killer bees!" these fearsome elite fighting men beat a pell-mell retreat down the jungle trails. Davis said he found it hilarious to see these big, tough frogmen routed by bees!



I once was in an APC in lebanon, and we ran into a famers bee hive, the damn driver jumped out of his seat and ran away, and I ended up getting stung mulitple times, before I could him back in and get us away. not funny at all. Although, people though it was funny when I stood on top of the viehicle and said "everybody keep calm, as long as we don't bother them they won't ow! ow! ow! ****!"

You all probably don't know this, but JLibourel is actually an unholy, but immensely entertaining, fusion of Ernest Hemingway and Michael Vick.

Originally Posted by Saucemaster

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You all probably don't know this, but JLibourel is actually an unholy, but immensely entertaining, fusion of Ernest Hemingway and Michael Vick.

lol! Quite a compliment!

Originally Posted by JLibourel

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lol! Quite a compliment!

It was intended as such.

Uncle Jan, please tell us more of your stories.

Originally Posted by sonick

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I remember watching a documentary featuring Robin Williams about dolphins or something, and they said that Dolphins are one of the few marine animals that ******** for pleasure.

Knowing that, I'd be afraid of them getting 'too friendly' with me.

For more information on this, consult the Church of Whale Penis at http://whalepenis.org/

Actually, most marine parks have dolphins that are too horny to exhibit. They are always trying to hump the trainers! I suppose the most humane thing to do would be to release them back into the ocean at an appropriate site.

HOLLYWOOD cutie Jessica Alba is so hot, she even gets dolphins horny when she goes scuba diving. The actress discovered the cetacean mammals got aroused by her presence when she was shooting dolphin drama Flipper. She told MTV: "I don't know if anybody knows this but dolphins get excited, even when you are a human being - and they have long, long... (penises). "I didn't know this until I was being poked by a few of them, which was very rude. "I think I learned my lesson. I sort of request female dolphins after that because those are horny little b******s." Jessica says the dolphin dilemma has become a constant joke with her pals. She added: "Needless to say my closest friends and family did dolphin squeaking noises for the next five years any time they referred to me or called me or talked to me, which was pretty annoying."

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Jessica Alba vs. Horny Dolphin Jessica Alba vs. Horny Paul Walker

If anyone else were telling these stories, I would assume they were full of $#!+. But not Jan.

JL, as a dog lover I am interested in your Tosa breed. I grew up with my grandfathers award winning English pointers, and as previously mentioned I have handled highly trained Belgian Malanois and German Shephards.

That being said, I remember as a child some nearby neighbors owned a pretty dangerous Chow. They would shave him but leave the the thick, long hair around his neck so it looked like a Lion and it had a purply-black tongue to add to the beastly look. I can remember seeing him literally rip the skin off the back of a stray dog once, and stories of him coming home with dead smaller animals was the norm. I always walked out of my way around the dogs yard, as it always seemed to be able to get loose. Of course this was when I was young, so the things seemed a lot more dangerous than perhaps it was.

Originally Posted by Manton

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If anyone else were telling these stories, I would assume they were full of $#!+. But not Jan.

Thanks, Manton, for the vote of confidence. With some stories, I can only go by what my informants have told me--as in the crocodile story. I do know that my informant for that one has hunted Africa and I have never otherwise suspect him of being windy. But, perhaps his guide was spinning a yarn--I don't know.

As far as crocodiles go, do many of you know the story of Ramree Island? This was a true-life horror story if ever there was one. Ramree Island lies separated from the mainland of Burma by shallow water and mangrove swamps. In 1945, when the British were recapturing Burma from the Japanese, about a thousand Japanese soldiers garrisoning the island attempted to evacuate the island and reach the mainland through the swamps. The British were shelling them with artillery, killing and wounding some. The blood in the water drew the big salt-water crocodiles...in large numbers. All night long the British could hear the Japanese screaming and the crocs splashing. In the morning, only 20 Japanese survivors had reach the mainland.

grizzly in a heartbeat.

Originally Posted by dopey

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My guess is mature cougar vs. very young, very old or sick bear. It is hard to imagine that even the hungriest mountain lion would choose a healthy bear as its prey. That would be a very very low risk and effort v. reward ratio.
Your surmise would seem to be most reasonable, but apparently such was not necessarily the case. Rather than the lion seeing the grizzly as prey, perhaps it was more of a "turf war" between top end predators, much as wolfpacks will kill mountain lions on occasion without eating them. Here is some interesting material from Storer and Tevis' classic California Grizzly: "Three California accounts detail something of the antagonism between the grizzly and the mountain lion, or panther. Livingstone Stone was told by the McCloud River Indians that the panther always killed the grizzly when the two fought. They said that the grizzly was afraid of the lion and that the latter would spring on the bear's shoulders and cut its throat. Stone saw place in the mountains where the ground had been torn up, evidence of a desperate conflict between a panther and a bear. The Indians said they had found bears killed by panthers but no panther a bear had killed. "An actual bear-and-panther in the central coast region was watched in the 1840's. Three hunters, originally seeking a female grizzly with cubs, had been grounded by the escape of their horses. Going cautiously along a creek bordered by willows and grapevines, they approached a waterfall that plunged into a green, transparent pool over which a large tree had fallen. "With the sounds of the torrent came...the growls of two wild beasts, alternate and furious. "On the right hand, squatted on one end of the bridge, was a small male grizzly, and opposed to him, on the other end, a full grown panther, who was tearing up the bark of the trunk and gathering and relaxing herself as if for a spring. The alternate roaring of these infuriated beasts filled the valley with horrible echoes. "We watched them a minute or more. The bear was wounded, a large flap of flesh torn over its left eye and the blood dripping in the pool. My companion bade me shoot the tiger, while he took charge of the bear. We fired at the same instant; but, instead of falling, these two forest warriors rushed together at the centre of the bridge, the bear rising and opening to receive the tiger, who fixed her mighty jaws in the throat of her antagonist and began kicking at his bowels with the force of an engine. At the instant, both rolled over, plunged and disappeared. We could see them stuggling in the depths of the pool; bubbles of air rose to the surface, and the water became dark with gore. It may have been five minutes or more before they floated up dead, and their bodies rolled slowly down the stream. "Another natural fight between a grizzly and a mountain lion was described in the San Bernardino Argus of 1873: "Some hunters were witness to a desperate fight in the San Jacinto Mountains, the other day, between a mountain lion and a bear. The fight is described as terrific. The superior strength of the bear easily enabled him to throw his antagonist down, but the latter used his paws and jaws so fearfully that the bear could not keep him under. Both animals were covered with blood. They fought till both were exhausted, when the lion dragged himself off into the jungle, leaving the bruno in possession of the field." (pp.71-3) Here's another passage (p. 151): "According to Frank Post of Big Sur, mountain lions were sometimes taken in the live traps built near Monterey to catch bears for the arena. Then a bear-and-lion fight would be arranged. Mr. Post saw such a contest at Castroville in 1865 when he was six years old and remembered it vividly. The lion, which seemed to have no fear, leaped onto the bear's back and while clinging there and facing forward scratched the grizzly's eyes and nose with its claws. The bear repeatedly rolled over onto the ground to rid himself of his adversary; but as soon as the bear was upright, the cat would leap onto his back again. This agility finally decided the struggle in favor of the lion. [Early California settler and sometime Los Angeles Ranger Horace] "Bell mentioned a fight staged in Mexico between a grizzly and a lion that had been imported from Africa: "When, a few years ago, a Los Angeles County grizzly was sent to Monterrey, Mexico to be pitted against the man-killing African lion "Parnell," the great Californian handled the African king as a cat would a rat. He killed him so quickly that the big audience hardly knew how it was done." Evidently the superior speed and agility of the mountain lion make it a more formidable antagonist for the grizzly than the mighty African lion!