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From the "Hey, at least I got felt up" File: So I'm standing at the bar at this local live music place tonight. I order one drink and think I'm probably going home. This young girl at the bar starts talking to me and instantly I know she is completely wasted; like, she-might-hurt-herself wasted. Being the chivalrous guy I am, I become concerned that she's very vulnerable and could be hurt or worse. I motion to the bartender, but they are very busy and they do nothing, other than shrug. Before I know it, she's all over me, trying to kiss me and God knows what else. She keeps saying "if you **** me over, I'll ******* kill you." I keep telling her that's not funny and keep trying to get the bartenders' attention, to no avail. Long story short, eventually the bartenders recognize that this chick is out of it and call the bouncer. By this point, I'm literally holding her up to keep her from falling on the ground. One bartender tells me that she's been there for 3 hours and had 1 drink (clearly something worse than alcohol). The bouncers come and carry her outside. Next thing I know, the cops show up. I wind up on the sidewalk being searched and questioned. He literally was patting down my junk to make sure I didn't have anything in my pockets or whatever. He took my name and number. I went back in the bar (they had my credit card) and the woman bartender told me that she told them I had nothing to do with it other than trying to help. The whole thing still pisses me off, because my name is now in some police report and I wind up on the sidewalk outside the bar being felt up by a cop. And all for nothing more than trying to be chivalrous. I could have left the ***** to fall on her ass, but was trying to not be an asshole.Originally Posted by Mark from Plano
THESE are the kind of single guy shenanigans that will make our reality show great!Originally Posted by kwilkinson
On the plus side all the valet parking guys in the greater North Dallas area think my new mid-life crisis car is the ****. I had two different valet guys tonight tell me what a great car it was. One got out and told me he was in heaven. I looked over at the white Lambo, the Aston Martin and the high-end Benz parked out front and wondered what he was smoking.Originally Posted by Mark from Plano
realizing i got bleach om my shorts and shoesOriginally Posted by in stitches
I'm meeting a friend for lunch today who is ALWAYS late. We agreed to meet at 1:00 but I purposely made the reservation for 1:15 so that she'd be fashionably late rather than atrociously late. It's now 1:40 and she still isn't here. **** her. This is the last time I do anything with her that requires even a little punctuality.Originally Posted by Stazy
Sweet! I'm a few years from my mid-life crisis, but I have my eye set on an early 70's E-type.Originally Posted by Biggskip
....I can't even talk to my girlfriend about my experiences and things that interest me while I'm away on vacation. Do I possibly have the shittiest girlfriend?Originally Posted by oneeightyseven
Depends on the criteria by which you measure your girlfriends. I, however, would tend to agree with you.Originally Posted by Biggskip
the worst part was that I was showing her a monastery that was built in 1153 that I went to see today...Originally Posted by oneeightyseven
ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzOriginally Posted by Neo_Version 7
LuxeSwap Auction - Vintage Antique United States Naval Navy Denim Deck Jacket
A piece for denim heads, vintage collectors, streetwear enthusiasts and menswear enthusiasts alike, this extremely rare early US Naval issued deck jacket in raw denim is not likely to ever show up at auction again anytime soon. A Haleys Comet of menswear items, offered at auction at a $9.99 starting bid with no reserve.
Wellington Chore Boot - Special Introductory Price! $495
Introducing the latest addition to Nicks Handmade Boots collection: The Wellington Chore Boot. Engineered for the rigors of daily tasks, this boot is more than just footwear; it's a reliable companion for your everyday adventures. Crafted with convenience in mind, its effortless pull-on design ensures you're always ready to tackle whatever the day throws your way.
