After how many dates should you let a girl pay for (half or all of) a date?

Originally Posted by Fuuma

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my dislike of being a consumer.
you might be on the wrong forum

I do so love the righteous with money proclaiming their dislike of discussing money. I suspect you'd act differently if the $40 bill came and you and your guest each only had $20 in your pockets.

Originally Posted by Rambo

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I do so love the righteous with money proclaiming their dislike of discussing money. I suspect you'd act differently if the $40 bill came and you and your guest each only had $20 in your pockets.
Why don't the hypothetical people with $20 in their pocket go to some cheap chinese dining or stay home and cook? They didn't have prices on the Arbys menu or something and the hypothetical broke people are like all surprised? Paying in full is pretty much the same as splitting every time anyway and it makes it possible to declare you merely have $20 in your pocket so you'll pay some other time.

LL OF THEM!

Originally Posted by Fuuma

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Why don't the hypothetical people with $20 in their pocket go to some cheap chinese dining or stay home and cook? They didn't have prices on the Arbys menu or something and the hypothetical broke people are like all surprised? Paying in full is pretty much the same as splitting every time anyway and it makes it possible to declare you merely have $20 in your pocket so you'll pay some other time.
Maybe they did, and the bill came to $20, but they didn't want to spend their last $20 on food so they split the bill. Just saying, its a lot easier to ***** about it when you've got money then when you don't.

Originally Posted by iammatt

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I am the same way. Discussing money in a social situation makes my skin crawl.
The administrative necessities of social interactions can be great comedy though. I remember that once, as a teenager, a girl told me that she loved me for the first time while we were sitting in the car. I looked at her shocked, with my mouth slightly opened, the same combination of affection and emotion on my face that you'd expect to see in a movie. Then, I turned away slowly and took the ticket from the machine so that we could enter the parking structure.

Originally Posted by mordecai

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I remember that once, as a teenager, a girl told me that she loved me for the first time while we were sitting in the car. I looked at her shocked, with my mouth slightly opened, the same combination of affection and emotion on my face that you'd expect to see in a movie. Then, I turned away slowly and took the ticket from the machine so that we could enter the parking structure.

So you were as befuddled by the concept as I was too, huh?

there was a terrible racist slur at my high school where if someone acted cheap or tight fisted people accused them of being a 'jew'. being the only actual jew at my school i took this personally and tried to over compensate for paying more than my fair share whenever the occasion arose.

i often wonder how much better off financially i would have been if id just accepted the stereotype and put the money towards my first property

Originally Posted by Sazerac

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When she dumps you for being too adolescent, this is why.

While I'm half kidding, I'm only half kidding. Every woman -- every woman -- appreciates a man who has a plan for the evening (subject to spontaneous change, of course) and who casually picks up the tab without making a mawkish show of it. This is basic and immutable.

That is half true, I agree with the last part, and I actually do pick up the bill for me and my gf (and gfs past) almost always. Because of where I live, most of my relationships are a little old fashioned - I choose and plan almost everything and she is expected to follow, and rarely does she want to go somewhere of her own choosing. That's just kind of how it is, not only with my current gf, but all of them past.
Specifically my current gf though, she has a bit of money of her own - so for the cheap stuff, I'll always pay - if there are several big ticket dinners or outings in a row, then she'll watch the tabs and pay for one or two as well. We split the rent and bills, and if there's a gift giving occasion, she gifts me generously. I don't shower her in gifts normally, we're just living a normal life together - however unlike some I guess, we would not break up over money-related things.

I also don't like discussing money at a dinner table or splitting bills, and that's not protocol in my culture either, so I have no problem getting up and paying the bill myself, and if someone else offers to pay the bill, then I don't fight them about it, it's because I've paid for plenty of tabs already.

Originally Posted by Rambo

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I do so love the righteous with money proclaiming their dislike of discussing money. I suspect you'd act differently if the $40 bill came and you and your guest each only had $20 in your pockets.

I was poor and on my own for a decade. I would not go to a restaurant if I did not have the ability to pay. In fact, I did not eat out very much at all during that period. Instead I saved my pennies and got a law degree and now I can hold out my economic superiority over others.

If you exercise some discretion and self-control you too can someday mock others on a message board for their comparatively small income.

Originally Posted by harvey_birdman

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If you exercise some discretion and self-control you too can someday mock others on a message board for their comparatively small income.

Pretty much the MC motto.

Originally Posted by harvey_birdman

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If you exercise some discretion and self-control you too can someday mock others on a message board for their comparatively small income.
This should be on the MC boilerplate.

Meh, I always pay first date unless she offers to; the next activity (or date) I expect the other to cover. Although most (half-way decent) girls nowadays prefer splitting. Not wanting to make an issue of paying, I usually resign myself to doing this if I have to.

+1 to the "talking about money in social situations is uncomfortable" crowd. My old highschool group has some notoriously stingy (and terrible) people. Eating with them is a nightmare and frankly, really embarrassing when people are arguing over miniscule amounts of money and undercutting their portion of the bill.

If it's your invitation you pay.

Originally Posted by Dakota rube

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My steady and I worked out a system to deal with this:
If we are going to boan in my bed, I pay;
if we are going to use her's she pays.

If we are going to do the sechsing in the car or some public place, we dine and dash.

that