What were your college graduation gifts?

texas_jack · May 22, 2011

5 months of living in South America.

Don Carlos · May 22, 2011

When I graduated college at the age of 12, my father presented me with a French whore of the highest caliber. I've long forgotten her name, but I will never forget her touch. After the sex, my father pumped her full of heroin until she ODed. Then we disposed of her body together.

I'll never forget the advice he gave me, as we shoveled desert sand and gravel onto her shallow grave. "Son," he said, "She was a hooker. That's...what she was. It's all that she was."

CalTex · May 22, 2011

I have not graduated but this is what I know will happen. Once I graduate we are going out to dinner and my brother will ask me where I am going to law school and how I did on the LSAT. If my score is <170 and I get into a top law school I am getting a Rolex (6k max I believe is what he said). My mom will say if you mess up once in law school I am going to be on my own and then I will go on about my life.

bringusingoodale · May 22, 2011

Pat on the back as well here....

I am thinking of going back to school, this time around I think I want to actually learn something I can apply and earn immediate $ rewards.

Any thoughts?

CalTex · May 22, 2011

Originally Posted by Arrogant Bastard

When I graduated college at the age of 12, my father presented me with a French whore of the highest caliber. I've long forgotten her name, but I will never forget her touch. After the sex, my father pumped her full of heroin until she ODed. Then we disposed of her body together.

I'll never forget the advice he gave me, as we shoveled desert sand and gravel onto her shallow grave. "Son," he said, "She was a hooker. That's...what she was. It's all that she was."

????

HelloIDistance · May 22, 2011

Originally Posted by Arrogant Bastard

When I graduated college at the age of 12, my father presented me with a French whore of the highest caliber. I've long forgotten her name, but I will never forget her touch. After the sex, my father pumped her full of heroin until she ODed. Then we disposed of her body together.

I'll never forget the advice he gave me, as we shoveled desert sand and gravel onto her shallow grave. "Son," he said, "She was a hooker. That's...what she was. It's all that she was."

I envy you to the highest degree.

MetroStyles · May 22, 2011

Originally Posted by Arrogant Bastard

When I graduated college at the age of 12, my father presented me with a French whore of the highest caliber. I've long forgotten her name, but I will never forget her touch. After the sex, my father pumped her full of heroin until she ODed. Then we disposed of her body together.

I'll never forget the advice he gave me, as we shoveled desert sand and gravel onto her shallow grave. "Son," he said, "She was a hooker. That's...what she was. It's all that she was."

I have to admit that dialog is your strongest suit as a writer.

oDD_LotS · May 22, 2011

I got around a grand or two in cash for high school graduation (helped to get some stuff I needed for college). College graduation, I don't remember getting much. A few cards, maybe a little money from family, a nice lunch with family after the commencement ceremony.

I'll be graduating again in May of '12 (career change) with a more difficult and lucrative degree, and I expect that I will receive little to nothing. Probably going to pick myself up a great box of cigars, probably a really nice watch once I've passed my professional certification.

Matt · May 22, 2011

the university gave me a nice piece of paper with my name on it and the name of my degree. My mother bought me lunch. The rest was on me.

Don Carlos · May 22, 2011

Originally Posted by oDD_LotS

I got around a grand or two in cash for high school graduation (helped to get some stuff I needed for college). College graduation, I don't remember getting much. A few cards, maybe a little money from family, a nice lunch with family after the commencement ceremony.

I'll be graduating again in May of '12 (career change) with a more difficult and lucrative degree, and I expect that I will receive little to nothing. Probably going to pick myself up a great box of cigars, probably a really nice watch once I've passed my professional certification.

How delightfully middle class.

Biggskip · May 22, 2011

Originally Posted by Arrogant Bastard

When I graduated college at the age of 12, my father presented me with a French whore of the highest caliber. I've long forgotten her name, but I will never forget her touch. After the sex, my father pumped her full of heroin until she ODed. Then we disposed of her body together. I'll never forget the advice he gave me, as we shoveled desert sand and gravel onto her shallow grave. "Son," he said, "She was a hooker. That's...what she was. It's all that she was."
Reminds me of the brilliant SNL sketch Old French Whore. My parents gave me $1k and a decent set of silverware. I still have the silverware to this day and consider it to be one of the practical gifts I've ever received.

GreenFrog · May 23, 2011

While receiving money was nice, I really wish I had a job

I would trade all the money I received as gifts for a job. in a heartbeat.

yjeezle · May 23, 2011

i didn't ask for anything since they already paid for my college and my car and i didn't get anything in return.

spb_lady · May 23, 2011

Originally Posted by Matt

the university gave me a nice piece of paper with my name on it and the name of my degree. My mother bought me lunch. The rest was on me.

the same here. was i supposed to get a gift? dammit. will call my mom today to clear it up

P-K-L · May 23, 2011

I got a watch, a Breguet.

What were your college graduation gifts?

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