Wedding Attire - need help!

^^^ Generally agree, but: horse farm. Dinner suits don't sound appropriate in that context.

Agreed, you make an excellent point.

@skinnygoomba - i can assure you that the wedding party will look nothing like that last photo you posted.

Originally Posted by mafoofan

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^^^ Generally agree, but: horse farm. Dinner suits don't sound appropriate in that context.

Perhaps I should have been more clear before but I'm not getting married in a barn. It's a historic Virginia home with a horse farm on the grounds. My concerns with black tie are mainly due to the heat - the average daytime high that time of year is around 80, though it should cool off when the sun goes down.

Why would black tie be hotter than a lounge suit?

Originally Posted by culverwood

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Why would black tie be hotter than a lounge suit?

Agreed, I don't think black tie is going to be any better or worse than a standard lounge suit.

Originally Posted by culverwood

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Why would black tie be hotter than a lounge suit?

More layers typically, plus it's, well, black. Tuxedos also don't seem to breathe as well but I don't have any empirical evidence there.

I quit.

Originally Posted by mjphillips

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More layers typically, plus it's, well, black. Tuxedos also don't seem to breathe as well but I don't have any empirical evidence there.

Strictly speaking if you're not in sunlight then black should radiate more heat, making you cooler. But then there's the bib/pleated front to your shirt and the extra layer of cummerbund/waistcoat so it probably averages to be slightly warmer than a 2-piece lounge suit.

I got married in November and my groomsmen wore grey lounge suits with white shirts and I bought them all vintage cufflinks and non-matching but similarish ties. My best man had the forethought to get white linen pocket squares for everyone. Bridesmaids wore slate grey dresses in the same fabric but different styles.

As for what I wore, well it was a winter wedding in the North of England so I'm not sure it'll help you much but I wore tweed. Best man wore tweed jacket and kilt (him being Scottish and all).

Navy suit can look really good though if you execute it well, and you're likely to get more wear out of it so you can justify spending a bit more.

@Not Ed Harris - thank you for the input.

OP, are you using the Briar Patch Bed & Breakfast Inn by any chance?

Originally Posted by Archivist

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OP, are you using the Briar Patch Bed & Breakfast Inn by any chance?

No, it's at a private house near Middleburg. Familiar with Briar Patch though.

Friend of mine got married there a few years ago, sounded similar to what you described. Nice place, they do a good breakfast.

It was a little later in the year, but the groomsmen wore black tie, guests suits. I am fairly certain no one had any discussion about how anyone was dressed.

That said, if it were me, I'd wear a navy suit, white shirt with french cuffs, wedding tie, and a white linen pocket square. Black shoes, even if it is the country .

Since you say you and your groomsmen already have black tie, well, the ceremony is after 6, black tie would be fine. I doubt if it would actually be any hotter than a suit. The location has little to do with it, it's the occasion. A wedding is not a horse show. I like a bit of rus in urbe, so why not have a bit of urbe in rus now and then. Particularly after 6.

What would you and your bride be more comfortable with? What do you want to see when you look at the pictures 10 years form now?

Originally Posted by Not Ed Harris

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I'd have to disagree with you there. With the ceremony at 6:30pm morning dress is not appropriate and that leaves you with either lounge suit (which you might not think is formal enough) or evening dress (which is more than acceptable).

Agreed...especially the part about morning dress not being appropriate at sunset.


If you decide to get a three-piece, I would skip the DB vest...this way you might be able to use it for business or a funeral.

Originally Posted by Archivist

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The location has little to do with it, it's the occasion. A wedding is not a horse show. I like a bit of rus in urbe, so why not have a bit of urbe in rus now and then. Particularly after 6.

What would you and your bride be more comfortable with? What do you want to see when you look at the pictures 10 years form now?

Thank you for this perspective. As you probably know Middleburg is full of a very preppie/eccentric dressers so black tie would be as welcome as white linen. If I go the suit route, i'll probably go for just a shade below navy and a woven tie. Neither that nor black tie is at risk of looking dated.

Originally Posted by MrDaniels

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If you decide to get a three-piece, I would skip the DB vest...this way you might be able to use it for business or a funeral.

Couldn't i just not wear the vest for those occasions? At any rate I think it's unlikely i'll wear a vest, have never owned a three piece suit and would probably feel too much like a costume to wear one for the first time at my wedding.

Originally Posted by mjphillips

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Couldn't i just not wear the vest for those occasions? At any rate I think it's unlikely i'll wear a vest, have never owned a three piece suit and would probably feel too much like a costume to wear one for the first time at my wedding.

You could do that. I think a three-piece could make quite an impression as a wedding suit. And no, it is not a costume!