I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

Mark, please save this thread somehow and read it in 10 years when you're 30. Know now that no matter how much turmoil this is causing, you'll probably have a good chuckle about it years from now.

Originally Posted by edinatlanta

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actually mark I just want to say that with your last post, I see she's trying to make this work.

Good luck to you dude.

The ex pulled the same thing repeatedly. Calls, voicemail, etc. that involved begging and crying for to give it a chance for things to work out. My biggest mistake was saying that I would. Just saying.

If he has any chance of getting anything out of this ever again (as in a year+ down the line), he'll explain to her that it's done, that's he needs space, and ask her to respect his wishes not to contact him. If he can pull it off, he may be able to come out of this okay. I'm just waiting for them to be sitting in the car, she starts balling real tears because she gets that it's really done, and he (being anything other than a sociopath) feels the need to comfort her, and then **** gets all fucked up, or his leaving for good loses the impact that it could have had.

Hell, if he manages to explain in a polite, acting like he's trying to preserve her feelings, skirting the issue, I didn't want to do this to you, but you ruined this relationship in spite of everything I did to fix it, and doesn't give in when she starts crying, and leaves in a very business-like manner, it may leave enough of an impression that she is left feeling like she just lost the best thing that ever happened to her. It would take some ballin' skillz on his part though .

I am not certain of this, but I believe I just saw a pig fly past my window.

Originally Posted by Dakota rube

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I am not certain of this, but I believe I just saw a pig fly past my window.
we must be neighbors: i've seen one too. was yours laughing, though?

Originally Posted by HgaleK

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The ex pulled the same thing repeatedly. Calls, voicemail, etc. that involved begging and crying for to give it a chance for things to work out. My biggest mistake was saying that I would. Just saying.

If he has any chance of getting anything out of this ever again (as in a year+ down the line), he'll explain to her that it's done, that's he needs space, and ask her to respect his wishes not to contact him. If he can pull it off, he may be able to come out of this okay. I'm just waiting for them to be sitting in the car, she starts balling real tears because she gets that it's really done, and he (being anything other than a sociopath) feels the need to comfort her, and then **** gets all fucked up, or his leaving for good loses the impact that it could have had.

Hell, if he manages to explain in a polite, acting like he's trying to preserve her feelings, skirting the issue, I didn't want to do this to you, but you ruined this relationship in spite of everything I did to fix it, and doesn't give in when she starts crying, and leaves in a very business-like manner, it may leave enough of an impression that she is left feeling like she just lost the best thing that ever happened to her. It would take some ballin' skillz on his part though .

Pretty much what i'm planning on doing.

I'm curious mark, what's your criteria for who you select to litsen to in this threak

Originally Posted by MarkI

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Pretty much what i'm planning on doing.

Just make sure that you aren't a dick about the last part. It may be better to avoid that one altogether TBH. It's walking a fine line that's difficult to keep sight of in a situation like this. KISS works here.

Originally Posted by edinatlanta

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I'm curious mark, what's your criteria for who you select to litsen to in this threak

He follows the poster whose opinion most closely matches whatever ill-conceived ideas he already has in his head.

Originally Posted by Incman

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He follows the poster whose opinion most closely matches whatever ill-conceived ideas he already has in his head.

So no one pretty much.

Originally Posted by HgaleK

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Just make sure that you aren't a dick about the last part. It may be better to avoid that one altogether TBH. It's walking a fine line that's difficult to keep sight of in a situation like this. KISS works here.

Yeah, I have to be really gentle about that, not gentle, but not clearly coming off as an asshole. Definitely a fine line.

KISS?

Originally Posted by Neo_Version 7

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So no one pretty much.

Exactly.

Originally Posted by edinatlanta

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I'm curious mark, what's your criteria for who you select to litsen to in this threak

Originally Posted by Incman

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He follows the poster whose opinion most closely matches whatever ill-conceived ideas he already has in his head.

Hmm...

KISS - Keep It Simple, Shitbird

Originally Posted by MarkI

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Yeah, I have to be really gentle about that, not gentle, but not clearly coming off as an asshole. Definitely a fine line.

KISS?

Keep it simple, stupid. In this case I'd like to retract any statement about trying to rig her feelings when you end it. Be polite and firm, and don't hold her when she starts crying. Done.

I don't know, Mark. You don't want to seem completely heartless. If she does start crying, wrapping an arm around her wouldn't hurt. Maybe a peck on the cheek too just for closure.