I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

RedLantern · Mar 29, 2011

Then what the **** is the point? And don't say "a foundation to move on from" that doesn't mean anything. You're not being honest with yourself.

MarkI · Mar 29, 2011

Maybe it doesnt make sense, maybe its illogical, but simply put, I can only begin to move on after I hear her say goodbye, and I say goodbye, then I walk away, and move on.

RedLantern · Mar 29, 2011

Thats bullshit. You're saying she is in control over whether you move on or not.

Ambulance Chaser · Mar 29, 2011

MarkI has out-

'd

.

I understand your need for closure, but please, please don't go to dinner with this woman. Meet at a coffee shop, say your piece, and leave.

MarkI · Mar 29, 2011

Thats bullshit. You're saying she is in control over whether you move on or not.

This is not true, I just want to ******* say goodbye, and walk away with some sense of closure, this up in the air **** is ridiculous. And it comes from her end, thats why I say goodbye.

MarkI has out-

'd

.

I understand your need for closure, but please, please don't go to dinner with this woman. Meet at a coffee shop, say your piece, and leave.

I said in an earlier post, dinner was just something that was said, I doubt well even go anywhere other than a ******* walk

RedLantern · Mar 29, 2011

This is not true, I just want to ******* say goodbye, and walk away with some sense of closure, this up in the air **** is ridiculous. And it comes from her end, thats why I say goodbye.

Maybe it doesnt make sense, maybe its illogical, but simply put, I can only begin to move on after I hear her say goodbye, and I say goodbye, then I walk away, and move on.

According to you, this "up in the air ****" is coming from her, whatever you say to her is not going to change her story. There is no last word, "here's looking at you kid" scenario that is going to make any of this easier. You're just delaying what is bound to be an already lengthy and painful process.

pstoller · Mar 29, 2011

Alright, so instead relationships should go on, indefinitely in some strange topsy turvy state, where neither party has straight out said that they are no longer together?

I don't know about you people, but after spending a year and a half of my life with someone, I would much rather say goodbye, and then, with a foundation on which I can solidly say that it is over, begin to move on.

I do not think there is inherently anything wrong with this.

There isn't, so long as both parties play by those rules. In your case, neither party has, and you've given us no reason (beyond your solemn word) to believe that's going to change. Your long goodbye has been all "long" and no "goodbye." So, your real choice is between: 1) both parties stop seeing/calling/texting/whatevering each other, and the relationship is actually over; and 2) both parties keep seeing/calling/texting/whatevering each other to say that the relationship is over (kinda sorta maybe), ad infinitum. The latter is what you've been doing for weeks.

Closure only works when you close.

Joffrey · Mar 29, 2011

Whatever. Dude just tell us in explicit detail what happens at your dinner/walk.

MarkI · Mar 29, 2011

There isn't, so long as both parties play by those rules. In your case, neither party has, and you've given us no reason (beyond your solemn word) to believe that's going to change. Your long goodbye has been all "long" and no "goodbye." So, your real choice is between: 1) both parties stop seeing/calling/texting/whatevering each other, and the relationship is actually over; and 2) both parties keep seeing/calling/texting/whatevering each other to say that the relationship is over (kinda sorta maybe), ad infinitum. The latter is what you've been doing for weeks.

Closure only works when you close.

Or how about, one party says goodbye, because they are sick of the way the other party is acting?

dfagdfsh · Mar 29, 2011

holy **** i never thought i'd see an sf poster more myopic than foo, BUT LO AND BEHOLD

RedLantern · Mar 29, 2011

Or how about, one party says goodbye, because they are sick of the way the other party is acting?

If you were really sick of it, you wouldn't have any desire to subject yourself to any more of it.

pstoller · Mar 29, 2011

Or how about, one party says goodbye, because they are sick of the way the other party is acting?

You had me at, "I need some time apart."

MarkI · Mar 29, 2011

If you were really sick of it, you wouldn't have any desire to subject yourself to any more of it.

I don't, and that's why i'm saying goodbye.

RedLantern · Mar 29, 2011

in person . . .

Hombre Secreto · Mar 29, 2011

I don't, and that's why i'm saying goodbye.

Closure, eh?

I broke up with my gf (general breakup thread)

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