a humorous extract of an email to my mother

Some of you really need to get off your high horse and step into reality.

Just because you have nice, easy, comfortable relationships between your family does not mean it also holds true for everyone else.

It's obvious that this is not the first time his mother has made outrageous proposals, and also has probably fucked up a good portion of other peoples lives that he cares about.

Condemning a man's character over a situation you can never fully understand is pathetically arrogant - rather you should appreciate how blessed you are not to have familial problems such as these.

geek, I still remember the issues you had with your mom in the past, but listen to globe. like it or not you're stuck with her, and you're a great guy for being the only one left beside her but also remember no matter how spoiled rotten or delusional she is, she doesn't deserve to be treated like that by her own son. good luck, man.. seriously.

+1 , I have a very young son, and while his mother is in her own world, I would NEVER let him speak to her in disrespectful tones! EVER!.....

Originally Posted by aj_del

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I think respect for parents decreased with age with the children not relaizing what the parent has put in / put up with for their children.

Seeing the pure selfless love that my wife has for my son, I would be super pissed if he ever talked to her this way, regardless of the stupidity of business proposal.

I think you all are being too tough on teh G33k. If you've never had one of the two people you should be able to trust the most in your life, your parents, do something deceitful or nasty or evil to you, you have no idea what he's going through. People that have had rotten parents need to develop defense mechanisms, with regards to these people, to become productive and adjusted adults.

G33k, just be firm and final, don't waste energy on the rest.

Originally Posted by Baron

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I don't think you need to be Chinese to find it strange. Geek, I get it, there are some real disasters in my family, but posting this kind of scolding of your mother in a public forum is a little unseemly.

Yeah.

To be fair, I think we have probably all crossed the line with our parents at some point or another. However, because he has voiced it in a public forum, perhaps that is where the problem lies?

Originally Posted by austerlitz

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To be fair, I think we have probably all crossed the line with our parents at some point or another. However, because he has voiced it in a public forum, perhaps that is where the problem lies?

no. a public forum is the PERFECT place to test it out. How many of us have posted **** on here we dont really mean or looking for advice then realize....oh.... ima douche...

This just sounds like he's trying to pile it on, when a simple no and ignoring the rest would suffice. I dunno the specifics though...

GQ, is your mothers name denzeloski?

Originally Posted by caxt

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Some of you really need to get off your high horse and step into reality.

Just because you have nice, easy, comfortable relationships between your family does not mean it also holds true for everyone else.

It's obvious that this is not the first time his mother has made outrageous proposals, and also has probably fucked up a good portion of other peoples lives that he cares about.

Condemning a man's character over a situation you can never fully understand is pathetically arrogant - rather you should appreciate how blessed you are not to have familial problems such as these.

+1

Originally Posted by acidboy

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geek, I still remember the issues you had with your mom in the past, but listen to globe. like it or not you're stuck with her, and you're a great guy for being the only one left beside her but also remember no matter how spoiled rotten or delusional she is, she doesn't deserve to be treated like that by her own son. good luck, man.. seriously.

Not true. He can stop talking to his mother, like the rest of the family. At some point you have to cut out such a negative force in your life. It sounds like Geek and his family have done quite a bit to try and help her. I don't understand why so many people are piling on Geek. What do you think would be the best avenue? To just respectfully let her piss away money? A simple "no thank you" won't change anything. Perhaps his wording is disrespectful, but at least he's trying to help her.

Originally Posted by WhateverYouLike

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I don't understand why so many people are piling on Geek. What do you think would be the best avenue? To just respectfully let her piss away money? A simple "no thank you" won't change anything. Perhaps his wording is disrespectful, but at least he's trying to help her.
Being disrespectful won't change anything, either. It's not only possible but infinitely preferable to impart the same knowledge and wisdom without being condescending. If there is any chance at all that your message might get through, that chance is squashed by being an ass about it. If there's no chance, then "No, thank you" allows you to quickly move on and preserve the dignity (such as it is) of both parties.

The apparent intent of the letter as written is not to help, but to humiliate and exact some sort of vengeance. There's a difference between offering someone a hand and striking them with it. That, I believe, is why people are piling on Geek. This is not to say I don't sympathize with a relationship that would drive him to express himself with such vitriol; he is not characteristically vitriolic, so I would have to assume his mother is a supreme trial for him. But, to be so hateful is to fail that trial.

Dude, she's your mom. Jesus.

Originally Posted by caxt

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Some of you really need to get off your high horse and step into reality.

Just because you have nice, easy, comfortable relationships between your family does not mean it also holds true for everyone else.

It's obvious that this is not the first time his mother has made outrageous proposals, and also has probably fucked up a good portion of other peoples lives that he cares about.

Condemning a man's character over a situation you can never fully understand is pathetically arrogant - rather you should appreciate how blessed you are not to have familial problems such as these.

aside from everything else, I am thinking about GQG- once your parents go, you are left with your own memories of how you treated them. as far as I understand, all of the "evil" done here has had to do with stupidity about money. treating her with some gentleness and dignity isn't out of place.

Three things I've learned over the course of my 30 years on this planet:

1) If you bombard the financially illiterate with a bunch of finance-speak, especially in written form, they will get intimidated by the language and just ignore it entirely. They require more digestible analogies.

2) If you speak condescendingly and scoldingly to people, especially your elders, they will grow emotionally defensive and ignore everything you're saying. If you want to communicate a logical point, do not couch that point in hostility, or it will be lost.

3) Be nice to your mother. Unless she beat and molested you, or left you to starve on the street corner, she deserves your love. Not necessarily your cash, but certainly a dialogue and not a lecture.

this really explains a lot.

See an analyst NOW! You have serious issues and they matter a lot more than your money.