Today My Wife Said: "I hope he poops on your Barker Blacks!"

Achilles_ · Feb 17, 2011

Originally Posted by MBreinin

Do you think I cared that the cat might not be able to ascertain that he was being pissed on because he pissed on my clothes? The cat hated me. He had **** and pissed all over my clothes and my house since his furry little spawn of Satan ass arrived. He knew exactly what he was doing. He had to actually claw my jeans off of the ironing board in order to piss on them.

I had warned the wife before, if he did it again, I was pissing on him.

So, while I sat in my office all day smelling dried cat piss on my jeans, I steadily drank water. When I got home, I put him in the deep tub, where he was unable to escape, and I pissed all over that motherfucker. It was one of the most satisfying pisses I ever took.

Mike

I'm actually a little scared of you now Mike

MBreinin · Feb 17, 2011

Oh, I know some of you cat people are going to think I am crazy, or fucked in the head for pissing on a poor, defenseless and handicapped cat...but the President of ******* PETA would have pissed on that cooltrucker if he or she had endured what that thing put me through. I am also positive that this motherfucker will never die, and will have the last laugh by pissing on my grave. I am sure the wife will gladly bring him by for a little cristening.

I should tell you the story of the bedroom remodeling.......

Mike

DerekS · Feb 17, 2011

my fiance is awesome. she stayed at my place awhile back and in the morning before leaving for work, she moved her car out of the drive way and pulled up mine s....and this is a direct quote..."So you wouldnt have to walk through the snow in your john lobbs" yeah, shes a keeper i know. hahahaha.

w.o.e.is.me. · Feb 17, 2011

Originally Posted by DerekS

my fiance is awesome. she stayed at my place awhile back and in the morning before leaving for work, she moved her car out of the drive way and pulled up mine s....and this is a direct quote..."So you wouldnt have to walk through the snow in your john lobbs" yeah, shes a keeper i know. hahahaha.

fiancee huh?
give it time friend.
soon it'll be "...No, husband. You can sleep on the couch with your precious John Lobbs, since you love them so much."

Achilles_ · Feb 17, 2011

Originally Posted by DerekS

my fiance is awesome. she stayed at my place awhile back and in the morning before leaving for work, she moved her car out of the drive way and pulled up mine s....and this is a direct quote..."So you wouldnt have to walk through the snow in your john lobbs" yeah, shes a keeper i know. hahahaha.

Nice!

Achilles_ · Feb 17, 2011

Originally Posted by w.o.e.is.me.

fiancee huh?
give it time friend.
soon it'll be "...No, husband. You can sleep on the couch with your precious John Lobbs, since you love them so much."

I am a newly-wed and I took over my wife's desk organized from IKEA (incidentally it works great for holding my shoes!). SHe laughs about it now but we will see how long that lasts

I'm running out of room though and she will notice if shoes start popping up around the edges

HEPennypacker · Feb 17, 2011

Originally Posted by MBreinin

So, while I sat in my office all day smelling dried cat piss on my jeans

Was this just added for storytelling flavor, or did you really wear your piss-soaked jeans to work?

Xiaogou · Feb 17, 2011

Originally Posted by MBreinin

I pissed on my wife's handicapped cat after he pissed on my jeans, for the third or fourth time.

Mike

Why didn't you just piss on the cats jeans? Now he's gonna piss on you!!

MBreinin · Feb 17, 2011

Originally Posted by HEPennypacker

Was this just added for storytelling flavor, or did you really wear your piss-soaked jeans to work?

I DISCOVERED the piss at work. I kept smelling it, then I tracked it down...to my jeans. I had to literally hide in my office all day so nobody would smell me. It had dried, of course, which is why I did not notice it at first.

teddieriley · Feb 17, 2011

Originally Posted by MBreinin

Oh, I know some of you cat people are going to think I am crazy, or fucked in the head for pissing on a poor, defenseless and handicapped cat...but the President of ******* PETA would have pissed on that cooltrucker if he or she had endured what that thing put me through. I am also positive that this motherfucker will never die, and will have the last laugh by pissing on my grave. I am sure the wife will gladly bring him by for a little cristening.

I should tell you the story of the bedroom remodeling.......

Mike

Pissing on the cat, as funny and gratifying for you as it was, is no big deal, and actually quite level-headed. If it were me, and I'll probably get flooged for this, I would have beat the **** out of the cat without any remorse, specifically in the situation that you know the cat hates you and does **** to make your life miserable thinking it's OK because he's adorned by the significant other. F that. my house.

wEstSidE · Feb 17, 2011

Originally Posted by PipersSon

"Your sweater looks like the ragged crumpled $hit that old women used to knit in villages back in India"

This was the sweater ($2985 suggested retail, bought for ~ $350 on SF)

Wife mad? She thinks you're gay?

Now there is a Solution! Sell it to me.

Mr. Moo · Feb 17, 2011

There are some depraved people on this forum...

MrGimpy · Feb 17, 2011

Originally Posted by teddieriley

Pissing on the cat, as funny and gratifying for you as it was, is no big deal, and actually quite level-headed. If it were me, and I'll probably get flooged for this, I would have beat the **** out of the cat without any remorse, specifically in the situation that you know the cat hates you and does **** to make your life miserable thinking it's OK because he's adorned by the significant other. F that. my house.

What does "flooged" mean? Does it mean "people to realize what an asshole I am"?

k4lnamja · Feb 17, 2011

Originally Posted by PipersSon

"Your sweater looks like the ragged crumpled $hit that old women used to knit in villages back in India"

This was the sweater ($2985 suggested retail, bought for ~ $350 on SF)

I don't want your marriage to be in jeopardy. I'll take one for the team and you can go ahead and send it to me. Of course, I'd pay the shipping charges.

Cheers

Metlin · Feb 17, 2011

Originally Posted by w.o.e.is.me.

fiancee huh? give it time friend. soon it'll be "...No, husband. You can sleep on the couch with your precious John Lobbs, since you love them so much."
Spoken like a man in the know. Clearly, the solution is to hold her handbags and shoes hostage.

Today My Wife Said: "I hope he poops on your Barker Blacks!"

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