engagement rings - buy loose diamond or from "reputable" store

Originally Posted by zjpj83

Click to expand...

The purpose of the ring isn't to make the marriage stronger or happier.

You are right, the rings you both wear represent that you love each other and that you are married. The ring I bought achieves the exact same thing as the ring you bought.

Originally Posted by Mad Hatter

Click to expand...

You are right, the rings you both wear represent that you love each other and that you are married. The ring I bought achieves the exact same thing as the ring you bought.

Cool.

Originally Posted by Mad Hatter

Click to expand...

Why not buy a ring that is a million dollars? You reasoning is silly, because a 6,500 ring is absolutely respectable, but a $200 engagement ring isn't, since you couldn't even get a good CZ for that much.

I am not stopping anyone for spending as much as they want to, but I am just simply stating (from what I have gathered from this thread) that it isn't about the gesture, it's about impressing the woman because her standards for diamonds are apparently very high from what some have said. Not to mention the blue box and all that ****.

Like the wedding thread and how much one should pay for the wedding, I am offering my experience that you don't need to spend crazy money on a ring, when the outcome will still be the same with a ring under 10K. Are you telling me that if your girlfriend told you not to spend a lot of money and that she would love whatever you bought her or picked out a ring that cost under 10K, you would still spend 30K on a ring?

The issue is that all the numbers are arbitrary. You've declared, simultaneously, that a $200 engagement ring isn't respectable, but your girlfriend shouldn't care what you spend. Which is it?

Why not buy a ring that costs a million dollars? If you've got the cash, and it's no big deal, why not?

And you know what the worst part is? You think you're wife is just as happy with that $6,500 ring, but you'll never really know. Do you think she'd tell you if she had hoped it were bigger/more expensive?

In my opinion, part of what makes the ring romantic (to the girl) is that you had to stretch and sacrifice (at least a little bit) to get it. I'm not saying you should put yourself in any financial hardship, but you should be spending enough that it's a meaningful gesture, not an economic choice.

Originally Posted by Mad Hatter

Click to expand...

Why not buy a ring that is a million dollars? You reasoning is silly, because a 6,500 ring is absolutely respectable, but a $200 engagement ring isn't, since you couldn't even get a good CZ for that much. However if your woman is fine with a $200 ring, then so be it. I am not stopping anyone for spending as much as they want to, but I am just simply stating (from what I have gathered from this thread) that it isn't about the gesture, it's about impressing the woman because her standards for diamonds are apparently very high from what some have said. Not to mention the blue box and all that ****. Why overpay if you don't have to is my point. Unless of course some of you men know that you are gonna get **** from your woman if your ring isn't up to snuff. Like the wedding thread and how much one should pay for the wedding, I am offering my experience that you don't need to spend crazy money on a ring, when the outcome will still be the same with a ring under 10K. Are you telling me that if your girlfriend told you not to spend a lot of money and that she would love whatever you bought her or picked out a ring that cost under 10K, you would still spend 30K on a ring?
Quickly... YOU think $6500 is respectable. Many people think it's an outrageous amount of money for a ring. Doing just enough to get by doesn't cut it in my book. It most certainly is a gesture because again, the ring is a silly purchase no matter what you spend. I have spent far more than $30k on various pieces of jewelry when something far less expensive would have done the trick. It wasn't about impressing anyone. It was about me buying something I thought was beautiful even though it was far more expensive than something that was simply good enough. If your wife is happy with her ring that is all that matters. The numbers you keep listing are numbers YOU are comfortable with but don't think me foolish because I don't mind spending $100k on something I think is incredible. Would I spend $1MM on a ring? If I wanted to and could afford to do so. Why? Why the hell not?

Originally Posted by tj100

Click to expand...

The issue is that all the numbers are arbitrary. You've declared, simultaneously, that a $200 engagement ring isn't respectable, but your girlfriend shouldn't care what you spend. Which is it?

Why not buy a ring that costs a million dollars? If you've got the cash, and it's no big deal, why not?

And you know what the worst part is? You think you're wife is just as happy with that $6,500 ring, but you'll never really know. Do you think she'd tell you if she had hoped it were bigger/more expensive?

In my opinion, part of what makes the ring romantic (to the girl) is that you had to stretch and sacrifice (at least a little bit) to get it. I'm not saying you should put yourself in any financial hardship, but you should be spending enough that it's a meaningful gesture, not an economic choice.


My grandfather told me he did the same for my grandmother when it came to buying the house he knew she wanted. She would have been happy with either but he said if he had to work an extra hour every day to give her that house it was well worth it. "You'll be surprised what you can do when you stretch yourself a little"

Originally Posted by tj100

Click to expand...

The issue is that all the numbers are arbitrary. You've declared, simultaneously, that a $200 engagement ring isn't respectable, but your girlfriend shouldn't care what you spend. Which is it?

Why not buy a ring that costs a million dollars? If you've got the cash, and it's no big deal, why not?

And you know what the worst part is? You think you're wife is just as happy with that $6,500 ring, but you'll never really know. Do you think she'd tell you if she had hoped it were bigger/more expensive?

In my opinion, part of what makes the ring romantic (to the girl) is that you had to stretch and sacrifice (at least a little bit) to get it. I'm not saying you should put yourself in any financial hardship, but you should be spending enough that it's a meaningful gesture, not an economic choice.

She shouldn't care if it cost 200, if that's all I could afford. I didn't spend 6500, because that's all I could afford, but because anything more than 10K is just not needed. I know my wife and I knew she would be incredibly happy with the ring I designed for her. If she was unhappy in any capacity, I would know.

She still tells me how much she loves her ring and how it's her most valuable possession, so no I don't think she has been stewing all these years hoping it was bigger or more expensive. She doesn't think like that. She just wanted to be married and was happy she found me.

As for stretching and sacrificing, that is a concept that has been sold to you by the diamonds are forever people. They are telling you what you should spend.

Look, people can spend what you want. I am just offering the advice that maybe one's girlfriend would simply be happy with a 5K to 10K ring and would prefer you spent the extra dough on a house or something instead.

Originally Posted by Mad Hatter

Click to expand...

Why not buy a ring that is a million dollars? You reasoning is silly, because a 6,500 ring is absolutely respectable, but a $200 engagement ring isn't, since you couldn't even get a good CZ for that much. However if your woman is fine with a $200 ring, then so be it. I am not stopping anyone for spending as much as they want to, but I am just simply stating (from what I have gathered from this thread) that it isn't about the gesture, it's about impressing the woman because her standards for diamonds are apparently very high from what some have said. Not to mention the blue box and all that ****. Why overpay if you don't have to is my point. Unless of course some of you men know that you are gonna get **** from your woman if your ring isn't up to snuff. Like the wedding thread and how much one should pay for the wedding, I am offering my experience that you don't need to spend crazy money on a ring, when the outcome will still be the same with a ring under 10K. Are you telling me that if your girlfriend told you not to spend a lot of money and that she would love whatever you bought her or picked out a ring that cost under 10K, you would still spend 30K on a ring?
Argument of the beard my friend. You have taken a number you think is reasonable (subjective), and have attempted to make that the objective benchmark. $6500 is not a magic number. It might be a number that works for your finances or whatever else, but don't try and assign a number that is reasonable. Again, there are many, many people who would find $6500 to be an insane amount to spend. Also, if you live a certain lifestyle and can spend more, $6500 is also a pittance. You cannot be objective about this stuff. Picking 10k as the limit is completely arbitrary and only has relevance to someone in your situation. This isn't even about rings anymore, it's about basic logical principles. I'm guessing that you never took the LSAT...

Originally Posted by SField

Click to expand...

Argument of the beard my friend. You have taken a number you think is reasonable (subjective), and have attempted to make that the objective benchmark. $6500 is not a magic number. It might be a number that works for your finances or whatever else, but don't try and assign a number that is reasonable. Again, there are many, many people who would find $6500 to be an insane amount to spend. Also, if you live a certain lifestyle and can spend more, $6500 is also a pittance. You cannot be objective about this stuff.

You are the twentieth or so person to make this point. Welcome to the club.

Anyway, without even talking about diamonds, a good, simple setting in platinum will already push you deep into several thousands of dollars--and one can certainly tell the difference.

Originally Posted by Mad Hatter

Click to expand...

but because anything more than 10K is just not needed.

Needed? Nothing is really needed. Anything above a cracker jack ring (or perhaps including a cracker jack ring) will do the trick. But what kind of life is focused on what we need? I don't need a Ferrari, but if my wife bought me one, I'd be pretty pleased. I think it's a pretty sorry state that people go into the engagement ring process wondering what the bare minimum they can get away with is. And then convince themselves that their girlfriend is on board with that approach.

Originally Posted by Mad Hatter

Click to expand...

Look, people can spend what you want. I am just offering the advice that maybe one's girlfriend would simply be happy with a 5K to 10K ring and would prefer you spent the extra dough on a house or something instead.

It's certainly true that there are women in the world who think like this. Out of four billion, there are bound to be a handful who actually deeply believe this. But given that it's a relatively selfless act, I'm not sure how many women you'll find who have a $30K ring, and are thinking to themselves: "I just wish he had only spend $10K, so that then we could afford the $100K house of our dreams!!"...

Originally Posted by CouttsClient

Click to expand...

Quickly...

YOU think $6500 is respectable. Many people think it's an outrageous amount of money for a ring.

Doing just enough to get by doesn't cut it in my book. It most certainly is a gesture because again, the ring is a silly purchase no matter what you spend.

I have spent far more than $30k on various pieces of jewelry when something far less expensive would have done the trick. It wasn't about impressing anyone. It was about me buying something I thought was beautiful even though it was far more expensive than something that was simply good enough.

If your wife is happy with her ring that is all that matters.

The numbers you keep listing are numbers YOU are comfortable with but don't think me foolish because I don't mind spending $100k on something I think is incredible. Would I spend $1MM on a ring? If I wanted to and could afford to do so. Why? Why the hell not?

If something far less would do the trick, why would want to overpay when it would make ZERO difference to her at the end of the day. You are essentially just patting yourself on the back for spending crazy money on what you deem to be "more beautiful". She still would have cried happy tears for something supposedly "less beautiful". You are ultimately saying that something has to be at a certain dollar value to be worthy to you.

Why do some people say that a 100K+ wedding is just stupid? Isn't that gesture as well to give your wife the wedding of her dreams?

Originally Posted by Mad Hatter

Click to expand...

If something far less would do the trick, why would want to overpay when it would make ZERO difference to her at the end of the day. You are essentially just patting yourself on the back for spending crazy money on what you deem to be "more beautiful". She still would have cried happy tears for something supposedly "less beautiful". You are ultimately saying that something has to be at a certain dollar value to be worthy to you.

Why do some people say that a 100K+ wedding is just stupid? Isn't that gesture as well to give your wife the wedding of her dreams?
You're still going? Yes, I spend my money on things I think are more beautiful/interesting than the things I find ugly/boring. I DON'T think $100k+ on a wedding is stupid but if the person in question can't afford it then yes. Stupid.

I think we may have discovered a wild-card entrant to the StyleForum Battle Royale.

Originally Posted by Mad Hatter

Click to expand...

why would want to overpay when it would make ZERO difference to her at the end of the day.

Because you don't give a **** whether you're 'overpaying' or not. The goal here isn't to minimize what you spend. From my perspective, I wanted to get the right ring. I went into the process thinking I'd spend about $15K, but was flexible on price. When it came time to pull the trigger on exactly the ring I wanted, it was around $35K. But it was no big deal, I had the cash set aside, and I got what I wanted. What's the problem?

Originally Posted by Mad Hatter

Click to expand...

Why do some people say that a 100K+ wedding is just stupid? Isn't that gesture as well to give your wife the wedding of her dreams?

People say that because it's not what they wanted. But they don't understand that everything in the world isn't about them.

Originally Posted by tj100

Click to expand...

Needed? Nothing is really needed. Anything above a cracker jack ring (or perhaps including a cracker jack ring) will do the trick. But what kind of life is focused on what we need? I don't need a Ferrari, but if my wife bought me one, I'd be pretty pleased. I think it's a pretty sorry state that people go into the engagement ring process wondering what the bare minimum they can get away with is. And then convince themselves that their girlfriend is on board with that approach. It's certainly true that there are women in the world who think like this. Out of four billion, there are bound to be a handful who actually deeply believe this. But given that it's a relatively selfless act, I'm not sure how many women you'll find who have a $30K ring, and are thinking to themselves: "I just wish he had only spend $10K, so that then we could afford the $100K house of our dreams!!"...
Yes, I was going to ask where this magical house was where an additional $10k-20k would "do the trick". I wonder if MadHatter buys everything like this. "Why buy a house with beautiful hardwood floors when all you need is the cement sub-flooring..."

Originally Posted by tj100

Click to expand...

Needed? Nothing is really needed. Anything above a cracker jack ring (or perhaps including a cracker jack ring) will do the trick. But what kind of life is focused on what we need? I don't need a Ferrari, but if my wife bought me one, I'd be pretty pleased. I think it's a pretty sorry state that people go into the engagement ring process wondering what the bare minimum they can get away with is. And then convince themselves that their girlfriend is on board with that approach.



It's certainly true that there are women in the world who think like this. Out of four billion, there are bound to be a handful who actually deeply believe this. But given that it's a relatively selfless act, I'm not sure how many women you'll find who have a $30K ring, and are thinking to themselves: "I just wish he had only spend $10K, so that then we could afford the $100K house of our dreams!!"...

Well good for me that I have an amazing woman who only cared about getting married to me and wasn't concerned about the cost of her ring. She loved what I designed and tells me all the time how beautiful it is.

A woman who analyzes the ring for quality and estimated cost as you propose or gets it appraised to see what you spent, sounds like a real keeper. Thankfully I am not married to a woman like that.