Who were some of your worst, rudest, and/or most ignorant customers?

Originally Posted by Krish the Fish

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Note: My father is a doctor, and my livelihood as of right now is living off my parents. It's a long term loan. I plan one day on also being a physician, and practicing not only medicine, but also sartorial excellence (we can hope, right?).

I have a couple acquaintances who are going to medical school in a year who are exactly the same as the doctor your friend had the displeasure of dealing with. The ones that are frugal I get along with well, as frugality is a good attribute to have; however, some of these characters will try to find something to make them feel like they got a "good price" on something, even if it's already heavily discounted.

I have the misfortune of having to live with one such character (let's call him "R") this coming year, and it will be hell. Here's a couple examples of his cheapness (because all it is is him being cheap): Whenever we go out to a club or any venue that requires a cover charge, "R" feels it necessary to cause damage worth at least the amount that he paid at the door. We went to a club for a roommate's birthday, where another of my roommates was DJing for the night. $5 cover, like most clubs around here. After we get a couple bottles of champagne on the house for the birthday, "R" proceeds to shatter his glass on the ground, and in doing so, inadvertently imbeds a piece of glass in the foot of a lady friend of ours nearby.

Another story, though this one may not seem so bad. "R" has a friend "M", who are both stingy in the same manner. A couple buddies of mine & I routinely frequent a cigar bar, and I know the owner and all the employees well. So "R" & "M" want to come along one day, and, being a kind-hearted soul, I acquiesced. As my buddies and I were picking out cigars to smoke, R & M proceed to look at each cigar, and find the biggest one that is the cheapest, with the most possibly gaudy band possible. I alerted them to the cheap bundle cigars in the back humidor, but everyone knows that those are cheap, so R & M are revolted by them, naturally. Instead, they choose a cigar the same size as the one I showed them, which was double the price, and proceeded to "share" this cigar between the two. This involved both of them acting like they had their own cigar, and the head of this monstrosity was swamped with the cumulative saliva of the two. It was sickening, and I honestly felt embarrassed that I would be associated with these two, who were flaunting their fake Louis Vuitton wallets and Gucci sunglasses, all the while sharing a $5 cigar that was a bad smoke to begin with.

And both of them will one day be the type of doctor that your friend had to deal with. Unfortunately, there are enough of the bad ones to make us all look bad. Not all doctors (and future doctors) are stingy or lack any shred of human decency. I strive to ever be courteous to any SAs that assist me in any travails of mine, distancing myself from those who seek only to shelter their miserable, unguided souls in unsavory manners.


Yet you hang out with "R". Really???

Originally Posted by SuitMyself

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Yes. He's learned that doctors are cheap ass MOFOs.
.
Then he didn't learn a good lesson. Besides, all doctors are not cheap.

Originally Posted by soxpats

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Yet you're willing going to live with "R". Really???

FTFY

Never worked in retail before, But im from a Chinese family and its pretty embarrassing when my mom and i were looking for a suit and looked at Zegna, Armani, and Boss and she kept haggling for a lower price /freebies. Didnt end up getting the suit but we walked into ascot chang HK after and they had Brioni at 50% off no question asked she just paid the asking price which was probably triple the cost of the first one. i spent at least an hour in the previous stores and came out with nothing, and like 2 minuites at ascot dropping several thousands of dollars. I still dont get it to this day. But i can understand the pain some sales people go through. I guess i came out with a better suit in the end, but the embarrassment in those other stores.....

Originally Posted by Big A

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Sorry, that was me.

finally i found it. watch for a pm and an address where to send it.
you may deduct the postage.

Originally Posted by soxpats

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Yet you hang out with "R". Really???

I don't hang out with him, thankfully. These are abridged versions of the few times when my friends happened to have brought him along. For some reason, there are people who think that he's a valuable member of society. I vehemently disagree.

Originally Posted by deadly7

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FTFY

Unfortunately for me, I was stuck in a situation where if I wanted to live with two good friends of mine, I was forced into living with him due to social obligations. It really sucks, and all 3 of us aren't too happy about the arrangement, but there's nothing we can do about it now except rectify this situation in 12 months.

You won't believe the exchange I had with a customer yesterday. A college kid came in, probably around 23 years old, with his parents. They were Asian, so you know what that means(no racist). The kid procedes to tell me he needs a black suit, navy suit, and grey suit for a new job he is starting in two weeks. I had to stop myself from laughing while he was saying this.

Me: Sir, no offense, but you are a complete marsupial if you think I'm going to sell you a black suit.

Customer: But I always thought black was a basic, universal color?

M: Sir, I have been selling clothes for almost 2 years now, I think I know what I'm talking about. I would be doing you, myself, my company, your company, your family, your country, and my country a disservice if I was to sell you a black suit for work.
(Idiot!)
C: I'm sorry i had no idea. Ok, well how about a solid grey, solid navy, and a pinstripe grey.

At this point I couldn't help but laugh straight in his face.
M: I'm sorry, sir. I wasn't aware your new job was the mafia. Everyone knows only gangsters wear pinstripes. Are you a gangster?

(He didn't respond, so I asked him a little louder.)
M: Are you a gangster?!!?
C: No, I just thought pinstripes looked nice.
(Seriously, how stupid can someone be?)
C: Well, can you show me what you have in about a 44 regular.
(This is when I lost my cool. I'm not a jerk, but I'm also not afraid to tell it like it is.)
M: Sir, I just recieved a 50 cent per hour raise a month ago. Do you know why I got that raise? Because I am a professional. I measure customers for their size. This isn't WalMart, sir. If you want to do this the right way, then we can. But, there is no way I am going to let you tell me what size you wear.

At this point, they ended up leaving, mumbling something about being rude.

Me: Have a nice day!

Customer: So you know, I have about $3000 that I have saved up for this purchase, which I will now be spending elsewhere.
(If there's one thing I hate, it's customers who talk like millionaires but never end up buying. I was fuming now.)
Me: Ha! $3000? That'll get you half a Kiton, if you're lucky! Have a nice day!
Not surprisingly, he acted like he didn't know what a Kiton was. Typical ignorant customer. I hate when customers waste my time like that. What a stupid idiot. Another sales clerk came over and asked me why they left.

Me: Cheap.
Him: Of course.

Stupid idiot.

You'll never believe this. The family came back today and ended up spending $3600 at my store with another salesman! Can you believe the nerve of some people? They acted like I didn't even greet them and help them yesterday. I am so sick of customers who waste my time, it is ridiculous.

Originally Posted by Dr. Class

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You won't believe the exchange I had with a customer yesterday. A college kid came in, probably around 23 years old, with his parents. They were Asian, so you know what that means(no racist). The kid procedes to tell me he needs a black suit, navy suit, and grey suit for a new job he is starting in two weeks. I had to stop myself from laughing while he was saying this. Me: Sir, no offense, but you are a complete marsupial if you think I'm going to sell you a black suit. Customer: But I always thought black was a basic, universal color? M: Sir, I have been selling clothes for almost 2 years now, I think I know what I'm talking about. I would be doing you, myself, my company, your company, your family, your country, and my country a disservice if I was to sell you a black suit for work. (Idiot!) C: I'm sorry i had no idea. Ok, well how about a solid grey, solid navy, and a pinstripe grey. At this point I couldn't help but laugh straight in his face. M: I'm sorry, sir. I wasn't aware your new job was the mafia. Everyone knows only gangsters wear pinstripes. Are you a gangster? (He didn't respond, so I asked him a little louder.) M: Are you a gangster?!!? C: No, I just thought pinstripes looked nice. (Seriously, how stupid can someone be?) C: Well, can you show me what you have in about a 44 regular. (This is when I lost my cool. I'm not a jerk, but I'm also not afraid to tell it like it is.) M: Sir, I just recieved a 50 cent per hour raise a month ago. Do you know why I got that raise? Because I am a professional. I measure customers for their size. This isn't WalMart, sir. If you want to do this the right way, then we can. But, there is no way I am going to let you tell me what size you wear. At this point, they ended up leaving, mumbling something about being rude. Me: Have a nice day! Customer: So you know, I have about $3000 that I have saved up for this purchase, which I will now be spending elsewhere. (If there's one thing I hate, it's customers who talk like millionaires but never end up buying. I was fuming now.) Me: Ha! $3000? That'll get you half a Kiton, if you're lucky! Have a nice day! Not surprisingly, he acted like he didn't know what a Kiton was. Typical ignorant customer. I hate when customers waste my time like that. What a stupid idiot. Another sales clerk came over and asked me why they left. Me: Cheap. Him: Of course. Stupid idiot.
...

I believe that his post was intended as sarcasm in response to the more douchy posts in this thread

Originally Posted by darks0ulz

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Sorry, but you do sound like a douche. I understand that people may be ignorant about sartorial matters, but that's not a reason to be condescending and rude. It's not helping them when you raise your voice at them...



Dr Class: brilliant parody. Near pitch perfect, going too far into overdrive only in the last couple of paragraphs. Good work!

Originally Posted by Dr. Class

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You won't believe the exchange I had with a customer yesterday. A college kid came in, probably around 23 years old, with his parents. They were Asian, so you know what that means(no racist). The kid procedes to tell me he needs a black suit, navy suit, and grey suit for a new job he is starting in two weeks. I had to stop myself from laughing while he was saying this.

Me: Sir, no offense, but you are a complete marsupial if you think I'm going to sell you a black suit.

Customer: But I always thought black was a basic, universal color?

M: Sir, I have been selling clothes for almost 2 years now, I think I know what I'm talking about. I would be doing you, myself, my company, your company, your family, your country, and my country a disservice if I was to sell you a black suit for work.
(Idiot!)
C: I'm sorry i had no idea. Ok, well how about a solid grey, solid navy, and a pinstripe grey.

At this point I couldn't help but laugh straight in his face.
M: I'm sorry, sir. I wasn't aware your new job was the mafia. Everyone knows only gangsters wear pinstripes. Are you a gangster?

(He didn't respond, so I asked him a little louder.)
M: Are you a gangster?!!?
C: No, I just thought pinstripes looked nice.
(Seriously, how stupid can someone be?)
C: Well, can you show me what you have in about a 44 regular.
(This is when I lost my cool. I'm not a jerk, but I'm also not afraid to tell it like it is.)
M: Sir, I just recieved a 50 cent per hour raise a month ago. Do you know why I got that raise? Because I am a professional. I measure customers for their size. This isn't WalMart, sir. If you want to do this the right way, then we can. But, there is no way I am going to let you tell me what size you wear.

At this point, they ended up leaving, mumbling something about being rude.

Me: Have a nice day!

Customer: So you know, I have about $3000 that I have saved up for this purchase, which I will now be spending elsewhere.
(If there's one thing I hate, it's customers who talk like millionaires but never end up buying. I was fuming now.)
Me: Ha! $3000? That'll get you half a Kiton, if you're lucky! Have a nice day!
Not surprisingly, he acted like he didn't know what a Kiton was. Typical ignorant customer. I hate when customers waste my time like that. What a stupid idiot. Another sales clerk came over and asked me why they left.

Me: Cheap.
Him: Of course.

Stupid idiot.

You had me with the opening paragraph. Very well done.

Originally Posted by Dr. Class

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You won't believe the exchange I had with a customer yesterday. A college kid came in, probably around 23 years old, with his parents. They were Asian, so you know what that means(no racist). The kid procedes to tell me he needs a black suit, navy suit, and grey suit for a new job he is starting in two weeks. I had to stop myself from laughing while he was saying this.

Me: Sir, no offense, but you are a complete marsupial if you think I'm going to sell you a black suit.

Customer: But I always thought black was a basic, universal color?

M: Sir, I have been selling clothes for almost 2 years now, I think I know what I'm talking about. I would be doing you, myself, my company, your company, your family, your country, and my country a disservice if I was to sell you a black suit for work.
(Idiot!)
C: I'm sorry i had no idea. Ok, well how about a solid grey, solid navy, and a pinstripe grey.

At this point I couldn't help but laugh straight in his face.
M: I'm sorry, sir. I wasn't aware your new job was the mafia. Everyone knows only gangsters wear pinstripes. Are you a gangster?

(He didn't respond, so I asked him a little louder.)
M: Are you a gangster?!!?
C: No, I just thought pinstripes looked nice.
(Seriously, how stupid can someone be?)
C: Well, can you show me what you have in about a 44 regular.
(This is when I lost my cool. I'm not a jerk, but I'm also not afraid to tell it like it is.)
M: Sir, I just recieved a 50 cent per hour raise a month ago. Do you know why I got that raise? Because I am a professional. I measure customers for their size. This isn't WalMart, sir. If you want to do this the right way, then we can. But, there is no way I am going to let you tell me what size you wear.

At this point, they ended up leaving, mumbling something about being rude.

Me: Have a nice day!

Customer: So you know, I have about $3000 that I have saved up for this purchase, which I will now be spending elsewhere.
(If there's one thing I hate, it's customers who talk like millionaires but never end up buying. I was fuming now.)
Me: Ha! $3000? That'll get you half a Kiton, if you're lucky! Have a nice day!
Not surprisingly, he acted like he didn't know what a Kiton was. Typical ignorant customer. I hate when customers waste my time like that. What a stupid idiot. Another sales clerk came over and asked me why they left.

Me: Cheap.
Him: Of course.

Stupid idiot.

Originally Posted by SuitMyself

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That was excellent...

Get up the good work son...

Not saying that some of the stories in this thread "stretch the truth", but I would certainly want to hear the customer's side on a few of them! In some cases, I see customers that rarely are in a store, full of anxiety of how to act. Some of the stories, I can believe happened as written.

It is fair for many of you to call me out, since I don't work retail and don't have a clue to the parade of customers you endure through the day. But I also have to say, this thread makes for some of the best web reading I've seen in recent memory. Compile it into a book titled "Confessions of a Sales Clerk". All I would add is that I hope a few clerks add some "encounters" that were precipitated on the sales floor (just to satisfy my prurient interests).