Give your best advice to an expecting father

Originally Posted by gdl203

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I was jocking too

I knew you were. After all, I am you. And you are me.

Originally Posted by Teacher

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I knew you were. After all, I am you. And you are me.

Beginning to sound like a Barney thing in here.

Originally Posted by MrG

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I'm not going to dignify the BS on the previous page with a quote, but it reminded me of a question I've thought about as I prepare for my kid:

How do those of you who are fathers deal with all of the unsolicited advice? Likewise, what do you do when people get sanctimonious about the way you're raising your kid?

I haven't encountered this too much yet, but the impression I get from friends who have kids is that I will. What do you guys say/do when this happens? I have to imagine a fair bit of it is complete crap and quite annoying.

It depends on how much you get. And how much you slept the night before you receive it. If it's just a little then it's not so difficult to let it slide but if you're in a foul mood then I find that just staring at the person like they've said something stupid can be effective. For what it's worth my wife gets this far more than I do and I don't know how she deals with it.

The stress associated with the anticipation of a long flight with infants is something that's hard to describe. I have been thinking about this flight for months, every single day, multiple times a day. I am having nightmares about it (for real), I am incredibly stressed and so is my wife. I think we're developing ulcers just thinking about traveling with our kids.

Originally Posted by gdl203

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The stress associated with the anticipation of a long flight with infants is something that's hard to describe. I have been thinking about this flight for months, every single day, multiple times a day. I am having nightmares about it (for real), I am incredibly stressed and so is my wife. I think we're developing ulcers just thinking about traveling with our kids.

Really? Try to relax, man. It's one flight. Sure, it can be unpleasant, but then it's over. Try to isolate that incident in your mind, separating it from the rest of the trip. Maybe that'll put it into perspective for you.

Originally Posted by Teacher

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Really? Try to relax, man. It's one flight. Sure, it can be unpleasant, but then it's over. Try to isolate that incident in your mind, separating it from the rest of the trip. Maybe that'll put it into perspective for you.

Thanks - doesn't help much but thanks. Yes, really - extremely stressful

Originally Posted by gdl203

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Thanks - doesn't help much but thanks. Yes, really - extremely stressful

Stress doesn't cause ulcers, so at least you can feel a bit better knowing that

Originally Posted by gdl203

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The stress associated with the anticipation of a long flight with infants is something that's hard to describe. I have been thinking about this flight for months, every single day, multiple times a day. I am having nightmares about it (for real), I am incredibly stressed and so is my wife. I think we're developing ulcers just thinking about traveling with our kids.

I sympathize with your plight and hope it goes better than you anticipated.

When we went sailing the first few times, our son kept saying "we're gonna die! we're gonna die!" with more than a little joyous exceitement in his voice. Fast-forward to our first family plane trip: a short hop to Cancun. I really dreaded takeoff and landing (son, please! we're not going to die, yet. wait until landing.), but fortunately he dreaded takeoff and landing as well and kept quiet until we were off the plane. So, maybe it will go better than you expect.

Originally Posted by JohnGalt

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Stress doesn't cause ulcers, so at least you can feel a bit better knowing that

So GDL has a real family eh, I can´t believe it . Stress cause hidrocortisone , it reduces the serotonine so it induces depression , violence and all kind of bad behaviours . Even it reduces fisically a part of the actual brain , the hypocamp ( hipocampo in spanish, don´t know the english name sorry ) People in huge stress from his childhood and continuous hidrocortisone flow might develope DSM personality disorders and even suicide , cancer , ulcer and so on . BEWARE !!!

Do you know what causes the stress, gdl? Remember: you'll be together, just like at home. If something happens at home, you and your wife are probably very resourceful (like most parents) to find a solution for whatever problem. You'll bring that 'resourcefulness' to wherever you go, also on a plane: you're there and you just cope with whatever happens. I'm sure you'll be fine.

I have no experience with a long flight like that, but I remember the stress I had with cycling with my daughter for the first time (she in front of me on my bike in a 'bike-chair'; I don't know what they're called): what if we fall, what if a car hits us? Things like that. The only way to overcome that was just to get on the bike and go. The first few times were a bit stressful, but now I (we) really enjoy it. Completely different from a long flight, of course, but maybe part of the cause of the stress was the same: concern for the child(ren), fear that something happens to them.

Originally Posted by gdl203

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Thanks - doesn't help much but thanks. Yes, really - extremely stressful

Greg, really, no need for so much stress. it will be ok. we've done quite a bit of flying with the kids, including when the twins were about the age that your twins are.

It's primarily about others and not about the kids and us. I think my level of stress would be 90% lower if we were flying in a private plane with no one but family. It may be irrational but it's impossible not to feel that stress in a contained environment with people who are very often in a hostile mood. We cannot always find a solution as parents - sometimes one of the boys just has to let his frustration or fear out of his system by crying and screaming for a few minutes before calming down.

The idea of such an emotional blow-up on a plane surrounded by hostile people (yes, people are hostile to children on a plane - don't ask me why but they are - even Fuuma and others here have expressed such sentiments in previous threads, same as assholes who puff and stare in restaurants) is very stressful.

Then, there is the kids, they don't like to sit for 7 hours, they like to run, climb and do crazy things. In the red-eye part, I'm concerned thye may not sleep and be very upset and cranky about it.

I can't wait for this to be over.

Originally Posted by gdl203

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It's primarily about others and not about the kids and us. I think my level of stress would be 90% lower if we were flying in a private plane with no one but family. It may be irrational but it's impossible not to feel that stress in a contained environment with people who are very often in a hostile mood. We cannot always find a solution as parents - sometimes one of the boys just has to let his frustration or fear out of his system by crying and screaming for a few minutes before calming down.

The idea of such an emotional blow-up on a plane surrounded by hostile people (yes, people are hostile to children on a plane - don't ask me why but they are - even Fuuma and others here have expressed such sentiments in previous threads) is very stressful.

Then, there is the kids, they don't like to sit for 7 hours, they like to run, climb and do crazy things. In the red-eye part, I'm concerned thye may not sleep and be very upset and cranky about it.

I can't wait for this to be over.

**** the other people

Originally Posted by globetrotter

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**** the other people
Absolutely. I know this is taboo these days but wouldn't a little children's benadryl or caugh syrup, plus a xanax for you two, go a LONG way to smoothing everything out?

Originally Posted by Rambo

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Absolutely.

I know this is taboo these days but wouldn't a little children's benadryl or caugh syrup, plus a xanax for you two, go a LONG way to smoothing everything out?

My parents certainly made sure I was well-medicated (generally it was bourbon or some such) on even the shortest car trips, and I wasn't affected in the slightest. Well, other than being the only pre-schooler with my own 30-day chip.