Surprise me with secrets about your jobs or past companies

Originally Posted by S. Paul

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Damn...that's pretty sickening. I guess I'm naive, I would have never thought of that.

+1

Pretty shameless.

I worked for an oil field service company one summer before college. We would hide spilt oil from inspectors by burying it.

I was once Patti LuPone's butterdog.

Originally Posted by Bhowie

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I worked for an oil field service company one summer before college. We would hide spilt oil from inspectors by burying it.

You should suggest this to BP. No one has to know about their Deepwater Horizon incident

I geneticist told me that at least 5% of people don't have the fathers they think they have. Most people think it is closer to 10%. He does linkage analysis to figure study genetic disease. Sometimes he has cases where he can find the moms DNA but can't find the dads DNA. Rarer still are the cases where he can't find the DNA from either parent and he figures they were switched at birth.

People enter his studies to find out if they are a carrier of the disease so he gives them a yes or no answer. He doesn't mention anything about their parental origin. He did mention that he was trying to get his dads DNA, just to make sure. . .

I worked at the beach for four summers when I was younger. We had to work parking during July 4 fireworks night. Some asshole in a red convertible didn't wait at the front of the lot for us to usher him in. He just sped by and found his own parking spot. Didn't put the roof up.

Needless to say, his leather smelled like urine when he returned to drive it off at the end of the night.

At most steakhouses, you can eat half your steak and then get a free dinner by complaining that your steak tasted dry. There's other combinations of reasons too... chew up some steak, spit it out on the plate, and then complain that half your steak was gristle while pointing it at the wad of undiscernable mush. They won't know any better and will just give you the steak for free.

The best way to abuse this is to order a giant steak you will never finish (for me, that is none). Eat half of it, then when you are full and half way through, pull the bullshit described above.

Most managers will instead offer you a new steak to be put on the grill. If you want more steak, why the hell not. If you just want them to pay for your half-eaten steak, then just assert that you have to be somewhere and they usually have no choice but to oblige.

As a server, I really ******* hate people who do all of this. And it's not accidental, no- there are people who come in and do this intentionally, over and over, and we know who they are, and we do rub our balls against their second order of new york strip after eating half of the first one before complaining it's "medium well plus, not medium well". I emphasize though, only repeat offenders suffer that kind of punishment.

If you're going to pull this trick at a steakhouse, I only ask you two things: one, just tip the damn waiter at the end. Neither the manager nor the server gives a **** how many recooks you demand, because the manager is still stuck with the same **** salary at the end of the day and the server only wants your cash. So if you can actually withstand the shame in doing this, you better tip your waiter 20%. Second, don't do it multiple times at the same restaurant. We know who you are.

my pizza hut experience was basically that by and large the cleanliness is acceptable. people touch the toppings and the food with their bare hands frequently -- but they frequently wash and there isn't any intentional dirtiness.

they also make you wear hats/hairnets, so that helps.

also, here's a tip if you want to be an asshole: if you get a pizza delivered to your house, eat a couple slices and call back and tell them how greasy it is. they'll 100% send another pizza out -- and no we don't spit in it as long as you're nice about it -- and they usually don't ask for the other pizza back.

the driver won't even check the box when you give it back, so do as you wish. eat a few slices, get a new pizza.

the driver does have to make the trip again though, so please tip atleast on the first time around.

I worked some telemarketing jobs when I was an undergrad. At one of the companies, about 50% of the callers were on work release from the county lockup. About 25% of the employees should have been in the county lockup. The rest were poor college students, wondering how *********** their life up so bad as to have to work telemarketing to survive during undergrad.

Needless to say, I would not advise antagonizing telemarketers. There were a few cases where one of the prisoners would end up noticing that someone lived nearby...

when I was 18 I worked on a bakery on a communal farm in israel. this was one of the biggest bakeries in israel, a big factory. anyway, there were also guys who worked farming. one of my friends, a nice guy but a little slow, got his finger cought in some machinary on the farm, really mangled, so they put him in the bakery for a week or so, with a big bandage on his finger.

one of the jobs that had to be done was if dough spilled over from one of the conveyor belts, we had to scoop it up and throw it back on the line. so one night that happened, and we hussle for 5 minutes or so to get dough back where it is supposed to be. then he shows me his finger, and his bandage is missing. we thought about it and decided to just wait and see.

a few days latter, the head of the bakery comes up to us in the dinning room, carrying a loaf of bread. he says to my friend "you're the one with the mashed finger?" and when my friend says yes, he wacks him in the head with this loaf of bread and shows him the bloody bandage inbedded in the bread. a customer had found it and it had made its way back.

Originally Posted by rjakapeanut

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my pizza hut experience was basically that by and large the cleanliness is acceptable. people touch the toppings and the food with their bare hands frequently -- but they frequently wash and there isn't any intentional dirtiness.

they also make you wear hats/hairnets, so that helps.

also, here's a tip if you want to be an asshole: if you get a pizza delivered to your house, eat a couple slices and call back and tell them how greasy it is. they'll 100% send another pizza out -- and no we don't spit in it as long as you're nice about it -- and they usually don't ask for the other pizza back.

the driver won't even check the box when you give it back, so do as you wish. eat a few slices, get a new pizza.

the driver does have to make the trip again though, so please tip atleast on the first time around.

To further this, I found the conditions at pizza hut to be very clean and well managed. We never did disgusting things to anyones food no matter what they did.

Another tip for free pizza is call back after a delivery and tell them that the cheese and toppings and slid to one side. That is a very common problem and they'll just blame the delivery driver. In my experience, the driver will never take the request you return the original pizza.

I guess fast food is cleaner then we thought. I worked at a Taco Bell in HS that was spotless but I only lasted about 2 weeks. Couldn't take the asshole customers.

I took the dipstick out of this 1 assholes car like 3 times when I worked at a gas station.

Originally Posted by crazyquik

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Large retailers throw away a large amount of merchandise. Employees are more likely to steal from you than 'customers' (on a percentage basis). There are elaborate rings of low-level organized crime that involve stealing from major retailers, laundering the products through shell companies with fake papers, and then reselling the merchandise to mom-n-pop stores and convenience stores. Not only do you not know that you're buying something stolen from BigBoxMart, the store selling it to you didn't know it was hot either.
I worked for Home Depot Canada right out of University back in the last Recession of the early 1990s and I remember a few girls and boys on the front end in customer service and one in the cash office getting nailed for fraud. Store shrink used to happen in a couple places, shoplifting, credit card fraud on the pro-desk and improper write off procedures. Seeing the shenanigans of low-end scammers (customers and co-workers) made me a cynical bastard when it comes to human behavior. When the economy got better in the mid 1990s, I got ****** out of Big Box retailing and I shudder at the thought when I get the advice from a well meaning colleague that I should go back do PR and marketing work for them. Thanks I'll pass.

One night I was reading CTs with a coworker on a patient from the ER, a 40+ yo woman. I noticed she had breast implants and air where the ****** should be. But I also noticed a prostate next to the ******. I wondered aloud why does a woman have a prostate? Immediately, my coworker turned and said with an Austin Powers impression "she's a man baby!"

P.S. Her other manly parts where absent so she must have had the complete operation.

In high school I worked at a party store / pizza shop. And yes, if a customer pissed us off for some reason many of the workers would spit on the pizza. I never did it personally, but some of my co-workers did, and they really didn't do it unless the customer was a real asshole.