Spanking

Originally Posted by Dedalus

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Yes? I have read books on philosophy and ethics, presenting various arguments of how one should live their lives. I read the rules of the road before I got out there and drove. A mentor is good too, but books and the Internet are wonderful resources that can shed light in ways that you never imagined.

By Internet, are you talking about DT?

Originally Posted by Piobaire

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Ah, thought you were speaking more about having working drones and the leisure class. I aspire to be leisure class but know I will forever fail.

Well the westerner would be master and lack a connection with work/nature/responsibility and the developing countries the slaves with a growing dissatisfaction linked to their state as producers/workers/lacking freedom. It's just amusing how, very often, I see people using that Hegelian master-slave analysis (often via Marx) without being knowledgeable about and being pretty liberal economically anyway but still letting their admiration/favour for the dev countries be known at least unconsciously.

Originally Posted by Piobaire

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Ah, thought you were speaking more about having working drones and the leisure class. I aspire to be leisure class but know I will forever fail.

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A LIBERAL ARTS DEGREE SO YOU TOO COULD BE CONDESCENDING AND MAKE OBSCURE COMMENTS THAT SHOW HOW SMART AND OPEN MINDED YOU ARE

Originally Posted by Macallan9

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PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A LIBERAL ARTS DEGREE SO YOU TOO COULD BE CONDESCENDING AND MAKE OBSCURE COMMENTS THAT SHOW HOW SMART AND OPEN MINDED YOU ARE

Like Conne?

Originally Posted by bBoy JEe

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By Internet, are you talking about DT?

Yes, exactly that.

Originally Posted by Macallan9

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PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A LIBERAL ARTS DEGREE SO YOU TOO COULD BE CONDESCENDING AND MAKE OBSCURE COMMENTS THAT SHOW HOW SMART AND OPEN MINDED YOU ARE

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD STOP TYPING IN ALL CAPS!!

We introduced anti-spanking legislation in 1979 over here. Have kids and think that if you need physical punishment as a parenting tool your doing it wrong..

I think the threat of spanking is the more effective deterrent, but of course, your kid has to know what it is they fear, and they need to know you are serious about it. So it is inevitable that a child receive at least one good lashing without any hesitation on your part.

As soon as my dad just reached for his belt, I STFU. When my mom threatened the spanking, I was less concerned because she was a bit softer as she may or may not have dished it out.

I am a firm and enthusiatic believer in spanking children--firm and hard. Not to the point that it is abusive but so that they feel plenty of pain to make them repent their wrongdoing. As my mother (God rest her soul) said to me when I became a stepfather not long before she died, "Force is the only thing they [children] understand."

Most children these days could use a lot more beatings. I see so many of these cheeky, willful boys with their ineffectual, impotent single moms. So often these lads end up getting drugged for "ADD/Hyperactivity" or whatever when having their little backsides warmed a few years earlier would have taken most of the bloody nonsense out of them.

My mother was a ferocious disciplinarian when I was little boy. She would beat the hell out of me about once every three weeks. I can still recall it with amusement after all these years. She would come upon me like an avenging Fury out of Greek tragedy. She would seize me by the wrist and say, "March!" I would go limp and be dragged along, pleading for mercy: "No, no, I promise I'll never do it again. I'll give you a nickel, a dime, 15 cents!" My efforts at bribery having failed, she would drag me into the bedroom and lay into my little backside with a wooden coat hanger. Frequently these would break as she beat me, so she would grab another one and beat me some more. (In fairness, these were given out by laundries instead of the wire or plastic hangers we use today and not as sturdy as most contemporary wooden hangers.) I now thank her for those beatings. The discipline she imparted made me a better man today, I think.

The tradition of stern discipline came from her mother's side of the family. My grandmother used to force my mother to go into the yard and cut a switch and then beat her with that. When my mother had tantrums as a little girl, my grandmother would sometimes throw her into a tub of ice water to calm her down. In turn, when my great-grandmother would beat my grandmother, the ex-slaves would be horrified and weep and plead for mercy for the little girl, "Oh please don't beat Mizz Marie no mo'. She had nothin' to do with it." This was after Emancipation, of course. My family had freed their slaves well before then and moved north to join the Abolition movement, but a number of the faithful ex-slaves remained in the family's employment for many years thereafter. I have a feeling they were a good deal kinder to the slaves than to their own children!

In all, I take a simple view of pedagogy: Pain begets fear, fear begets cooperation, cooperation begets harmony, and harmony begets love.

My parents spanked me. They also used a belt on me. I grew up thinking that was OK and normal. I was pro-spanking as appropriate until I had a child. Then I realized that I didn't need to spank him. Rather, I chose to be the adult, act in-charge and require positive behavior. It worked fine. Perhaps if my son had been more physically mis-behaved I might have tried spanking but I never felt the need.

Widespread acceptance of abortion would solve many problems.

Those who hit your kids, do you fear one day they will come back to hit you?

Do you wonder if they fear taking a beating for every decision they make on their own?

Do you think that setting an example through living is an effective tool?

My thoughts are that spanking your son once in a while for things that he does that are extremely wrong might not be bad, but like most things people take it way too far.

Originally Posted by Fuuma

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No. I'm about your age and was probably reading history books while you were still going googoogaagaa.
What the hell does that have to do with anything? Re the OP. I have a kid, another on the way and I don't spank. I have however put the fear of god into my kid and I think it's absoultey crucial to good parenting to do so. Now before anyone takes that too literally all I mean is this: a child has to respect the fact that you are the person that makes decisions and at times those decisions are not going to seem fair, just, or necessary. You don't negotiate brushing your teeth, and when your kid tries to, as he inevitably will, you nip that *********** bud. You don't negotiate non-negotiable things, but you need to understand as a parent that not everything is non-negotiable. To me good parenting is being able to walk that line. I am willing to reexamine decisions if my kid is really upset or feels slighted. He tends to react one way when he is simply not getting what he wants and another when he is truly being wronged. I think many parents have the idea that to maintain control you have to never allow your self to be second guessed. I disagree. I think it's important to take you kid seriously enough to at least listen to him. The problem- and it is a HUGE problem- is that parents take that **** waaaaay to far. I'm shocked at how much my kids friends get away with, how much basic **** they will try to challenge. One example: My boy has a friend that I just can't stand, I never thought I could actually dislike a kid so much but he is a lying, manipulative, little pervy **** bird. Anyway he used to come over and then not want to leave when it was time. His mom would be standing there saying "ok **** bird, come on, it's time to go , we talked about this, you won't get to come over again. blah, blah, blah" all in a cloying voice like you would use to coax a cat. Meanwhile the little **** bird has climbed a tree and is just ignoring his mom. It's all I could do not grab him and toss him over my shoulder and carry his ass out. Had it been my kid I would have and he knows it. I just don't even give him the chance to pull that kind of crap. The fact that I have thrown him over my shoulder a few times and done so without fifty warnings and threats has made an impression on him. The same with restaurants . He has never, even once, been allowed to run around a restaurant screaming. And so he has good manners when he goes out, he simply has never been allowed to act in any other way. Basically I think at least once or twice you need to demonstrate to your kid that it's not a ******* democracy but once you've done that you can and should allow him to participate in his own decision making as much as possible. It's a hundred times better if your kid understands why he needs to act a certain way and does it on his own accord but failing that it's better to impose a little martial law than to allow your kid to turn into a **** bird.

Originally Posted by cross22

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Do you guys who spank also believe your kids' teachers should have the option to spank them?
If my kid's teacher so much as laid a glove on my boy I would beat the holy hell out of him.

Originally Posted by JLibourel

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"Force is the only thing they [children] understand."

Originally Posted by NorCal

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it's not a ******* democracy
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