Spanking

Spanking in this case needs to be clearly defined. What a lot of people think is "spanking", isn't.

Originally Posted by cross22

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I don't need to look it up, there are other ways to achieve the same effect (Pavlovian response) without using violence.
well Pavlov used to electrocute those dogs dude, perhaps that'll work on your kids, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Originally Posted by Dedalus

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I don't think spoiled and over-privileged behavior is dependent on economic status for adults either.

That's true. But again does that correlate with the way the adults were brought up as kids? It's a cycle. But I think some parents are so afraid of being labeled as abusers that they fail to educate and discipline their kids. Excessive of anything is bad, but I think when parents need to keep a firm hand on their kids behaviors, spanking can be utilized as a resourceful tool.

I grew up in China where spanking was/is commonly practiced. My mom used to hit me everywhere with any household object she could get her hands on. Do I hate my mom? No. Do i think it's a bit excessive, Yes. Would I hit my kids in the future like my mom did to me, definitely no. But the hitting correct alot of my bad behaviors when I was younger, and I came to respect my parents and the hard work they had to put in to raise me.

Originally Posted by Matt

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well Pavlov used to electrocute those dogs dude, perhaps that'll work on your kids, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Beat me now, beat me later, just beat me. Bad behavior has consequences and the sooner we learn that lesson the better.

I'm for just and measured corporal punishment.

Originally Posted by cimabue

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Beat me now, beat me later, just beat me. Bad behavior has consequences and the sooner we learn that lesson the better.

I agree. I am glad that my parents spanked me when I was younger when I stole money from my mom to go play arcade video games. I rather get hit by my parents then get locked up in jail for theft.

Originally Posted by Prada_Ferragamo

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That's true. But again does that correlate with the way the adults were brought up as kids? It's a cycle. But I think some parents are so afraid of being labeled as abusers that they fail to educate and discipline their kids. Excessive of anything is bad, but I think when parents need to keep a firm hand on their kids behaviors, spanking can be utilized as a resourceful tool. I grew up in China where spanking was/is commonly practiced. My mom used to hit me everywhere with any household object she could get her hands on. Do I hate my mom? No. Do i think it's a bit excessive, Yes. Would I hit my kids in the future like my mom did to me, definitely no. But the hitting correct alot of my bad behaviors when I was younger, and I came to respect my parents and the hard work they had to put in to raise me.
That is fine, but it didn't have to be physical punishment. It could have been a timeout, loss of desert, or grounding for a few day and a lot of your bad behavior would have been corrected. Two question to those who were spanked. Did they have to punish you harder and you grew older (to cause more pain as you grow stronger and more tolerant) and at what age did it stop?

they stopped spanking me when I was about 10 or 11 I guess, and ya, the one time that I mentioned earlier when my uncle really let me have it when I was 16, the power dispensed was commensurate with my ability to deal with it.

I mean, by that age I was playing Australian football, those boys hit you hard, and given the area I grew up in, getting into my share of fights anyhow...the uncle had to outdo that if he wanted my attention. To that end, he performed admirably.

I remember when I beat up some kid when I was like 16, and his mother came over to tell my mother (*****), she tried to spank me...and I was just looking back at her laughing like 'uhh, that's not gonna work these days ma'

So much of our behavior as both kids, and adults, is hard wired from the start. A-hole parents beget a-hole kids who beget more a-hole kids and on it goes.
I didn't always think this. Before I had kids, I believed that Nuture with a capital 'N' played a much more dominant role in a person's development than I do now. While Nuture certainly influences and moderates behavior it can't totally alter the conduits of reason in the brain. The personality traits that I see in my kids (which my ego won't allow me to see in myself), are evident across the generations in both mine and their mother's families, and appear quite independent of upbringing or economic status.
With sons and daughters ranging in age from 20 to 7, I am resigned to the fact that they are, despite my best efforts, Assholes like their father, their grandfathers and probably their great grandfathers as well.
For the record, I spank and my kids definately know where the social boundaries are... but it doesn't mean they care.

I have a son - 7 years old and i have never spanked him - never will.

There's absolutely NO need to.

I was spanked as a child and it's painful - humiliating and mostly done out of my parents anger/frustration and i deeply resented it.

If your spanking your kid YOU need to look at yourself and ask yourself what the **** are you getting to that level of anger and frustration for - what you could do different etc.

You can take away treats / TV/ computer etc - SO many options as an alternate form of punishment...

Also try REALLY talking to your kid on their level - get down to their height - eye to eye and really talk to them so they hear.

Originally Posted by cross22

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That is fine, but it didn't have to be physical punishment. It could have been a timeout, loss of desert, or grounding for a few day and a lot of your bad behavior would have been corrected. Two question to those who were spanked. Did they have to punish you harder and you grew older (to cause more pain as you grow stronger and more tolerant) and at what age did it stop?
Looking back now, I realized physical pain was the only way to stop me from behaving badly. Time out or grounding weren't going to do anything to me. I knew that and my parents knew that. To answer your question, spanking decreased dramatically after I reached my teen years. My mom couldn't hit me hard enough to make me pay attention, and I grew more responsible for myself.

I think spanking also prepared me physically and mentally to survive in this world. My parents were well off but never rich. I had to support myself since I was 16, because I couldn't afford to ask my mother for anything more than food and a roof due to her burden with the mortgage and other monthly bills. I am actually thankful for the tough love received when I was growing up.

I wasnt a shithead because I got spanked - I was spanked because I was a dumb kid who did dumb stuff.

The worst feeling in the world is having mom tell you to go to the closet and pick out a belt. Then when you try and be a wise guy and pull out the wimpy leather or cloth belt and she makes you go back and pick another, hahaha.

Geting "Grounded" or take away privileges was a joke. It never lasted more than a day and I could ALWAYS sneak in video games or wahtever anyways. Kids will always find a way to break the rules and take advantage of a situation when they can.

I think this is very interesting how divided we are on this.

I was spanked, maybe a handful of times. my brother and sister probrabl a little more than I was. I deserved it, no question about it. I probrably should have been spanked a little more than I was, as a matter of fact.

I think that it is like all violence, there is room for it, and with the correct strategy and timing, you should only need a very small amount of it to achieve the needed results.

Originally Posted by cross22

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That is fine, but it didn't have to be physical punishment. It could have been a timeout, loss of desert, or grounding for a few day and a lot of your bad behavior would have been corrected. Two question to those who were spanked. Did they have to punish you harder and you grew older (to cause more pain as you grow stronger and more tolerant) and at what age did it stop?
I'd just like to take a moment to call shenanigans. When they learn that there's no bite behind your bark, then they'll tell you to **** off and take the dessert, or steal your money and get their own dessert later that night. Grounding and other similar punishments take consent, which a pissed off kid isn't going to give.