• Hi, I am the owner and main administrator of Styleforum. If you find the forum useful and fun, please help support it by buying through the posted links on the forum. Our main, very popular sales thread, where the latest and best sales are listed, are posted HERE

    Purchases made through some of our links earns a commission for the forum and allows us to do the work of maintaining and improving it. Finally, thanks for being a part of this community. We realize that there are many choices today on the internet, and we have all of you to thank for making Styleforum the foremost destination for discussions of menswear.
  • This site contains affiliate links for which Styleforum may be compensated.
  • We would like to welcome House of Huntington as an official Affiliate Vendor. Shop past season Drake's, Nigel Cabourn, Private White V.C. and other menswear luxury brands at exceptional prices below retail. Please visit the Houise of Huntington thread and welcome them to the forum.

  • STYLE. COMMUNITY. GREAT CLOTHING.

    Bored of counting likes on social networks? At Styleforum, you’ll find rousing discussions that go beyond strings of emojis.

    Click Here to join Styleforum's thousands of style enthusiasts today!

    Styleforum is supported in part by commission earning affiliate links sitewide. Please support us by using them. You may learn more here.

Do you forgive people that have wronged you?

globetrotter

Stylish Dinosaur
Joined
Sep 28, 2004
Messages
20,341
Reaction score
422
no benifit in holding a grudge
 

Dw3610wm

Senior Member
Joined
Sep 19, 2009
Messages
399
Reaction score
0
Originally Posted by MrG
My policy is that I'll forgive nearly anything once, provided I care for the person and they're sincerely sorry.

Originally Posted by RedLantern
Quicker than I'd like to, usually. Don't think twice, it's alright.

Originally Posted by Fuuma
"Nothing will be forgiven, everything will be forgotten."

haha all of these look like their avatars are saying it. ^^
 

robertorex

Distinguished Member
Joined
Oct 1, 2008
Messages
2,744
Reaction score
6
I forgive those who wrong me and are sorry in the sense that I don't wish ill upon them.

Those who come upon me with malice, I tend to return in kind.
 

Listi

Distinguished Member
Joined
Oct 23, 2008
Messages
2,858
Reaction score
58
It definitely depends. I'm a respect driven person. Not in a traditional "respect authority" or "respect my decisions" type way, not at all. In a way more dealing with honesty and manipulation.

I'm not easily offended, and fairly forgiving. However, I think that someone repeatedly lying, violating trust, or attempting to manipulate you is dehumanizing behaviour, you've become a tool, no longer a person. Behaviour like this is extremely offensive to me, and cannot be forgiven. The person's relation to you matters greatly as well, an enemy is more easily forgiven than a friend. An enemy is just doing what they are supposed to, and you'd do the same to them. A friend doing such things is failing miserably at their supposed position, they are severing the bond of trust between friends, and unless swiftly remedied, will be severed forever.

It is very rare I have ever had situations arise where I could not forgive. I have had friends offend me before, and I have stepped in immediately and notified them of the way I felt about their actions very explicitly. It usually never happens again, and that's proof enough for me that they care about and respect our friendship.

In cases where I cannot forgive, I do not hold a grudge, but avoid them. Luckily, I haven't ran into a situation that makes this impossible.
 

CDFS

Distinguished Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2008
Messages
4,762
Reaction score
192
Originally Posted by olualbert
I think is pretty interesting you've said that....forgiving someone does not necessarily mean you condone their act but to empower yourself when discussing the situation and to devoid yourself of any pent-up feelings towards those that have wronged you.

Oprah?
 

leftover_salmon

Senior Member
Joined
May 26, 2007
Messages
949
Reaction score
4
Originally Posted by globetrotter
no benifit in holding a grudge

Self-respect? If someone ***** you over and gets away with it, are you just going to smile and welcome them with open arms the next time you see them? I'd prefer to not be such a doormat.
 

olualbert

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 9, 2009
Messages
98
Reaction score
0
Originally Posted by CDFS
Oprah?

I personally do not agree with most of her shows concerning social issues....I think her shows are more geared towards what I termed, "social engineering" which is the reason why most families dp not listen to one another in the states.
 

Eason

Bicurious Racist
Joined
Feb 20, 2007
Messages
14,276
Reaction score
1,882
I'm a bit too forgiving.
 

Simon Templar

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 8, 2010
Messages
168
Reaction score
0
Originally Posted by Listi
It definitely depends. I'm a respect driven person. Not in a traditional "respect authority" or "respect my decisions" type way, not at all. In a way more dealing with honesty and manipulation.

I'm not easily offended, and fairly forgiving. However, I think that someone repeatedly lying, violating trust, or attempting to manipulate you is dehumanizing behaviour, you've become a tool, no longer a person. Behaviour like this is extremely offensive to me, and cannot be forgiven. The person's relation to you matters greatly as well, an enemy is more easily forgiven than a friend. An enemy is just doing what they are supposed to, and you'd do the same to them. A friend doing such things is failing miserably at their supposed position, they are severing the bond of trust between friends, and unless swiftly remedied, will be severed forever.

It is very rare I have ever had situations arise where I could not forgive. I have had friends offend me before, and I have stepped in immediately and notified them of the way I felt about their actions very explicitly. It usually never happens again, and that's proof enough for me that they care about and respect our friendship.

In cases where I cannot forgive, I do not hold a grudge, but avoid them. Luckily, I haven't ran into a situation that makes this impossible.



Very well put. I have the same philosophy especially the part concerning friends wronging me. I can't forgive in these instances.
 

hendrix

Thor Smash
Supporting Member
Joined
Apr 19, 2009
Messages
10,447
Reaction score
7,343
Originally Posted by olualbert
I think is pretty interesting you've said that....forgiving someone does not necessarily mean you condone their act but to empower yourself when discussing the situation and to devoid yourself of any pent-up feelings towards those that have wronged you.

yes. Another example would be a family forgiving a drunk driver who killed their son. They forgive him in that they don't wish ill upon him, but they certainly don't condone drink driving.

No point in harbouring resentment. You gotta do the best thing for yourself.
 

acidboy

Stylish Dinosaur
Spamminator Moderator
Joined
Mar 13, 2006
Messages
19,672
Reaction score
1,555
I gotta be honest: I'm generally a forgiving guy- hell I don't think I have any issues with anybody right now... but I don't think I will ever forgive anyone who might harm my kids, God forbid.
 

Murdoc

Senior Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2009
Messages
120
Reaction score
0
Originally Posted by JayJay
I forgive, and try to forget.

Not trying to be funny, but I tend to forget more then I forgive, so whenever I'm reminded weeks, months, years later, a rant usually follows and then eventually I forget again.

Also, yeah it depends on the situation, some stuff is unforgiveable, but it's pretty rare in my life style.
 

topcatny

Distinguished Member
Joined
Dec 14, 2004
Messages
1,030
Reaction score
26
I am a fairly forgiving person. I can vent my anger and frustration and move on with my life and interact with people who have wronged me much like I did before. I hardly ever forget though.
 

EZETHATSME

Senior Member
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
783
Reaction score
3
I do my best.

EZ
 

Featured Sponsor

How important is full vs half canvas to you for heavier sport jackets?

  • Definitely full canvas only

    Votes: 55 35.5%
  • Half canvas is fine

    Votes: 60 38.7%
  • Really don't care

    Votes: 17 11.0%
  • Depends on fabric

    Votes: 27 17.4%
  • Depends on price

    Votes: 28 18.1%

Forum statistics

Threads
505,161
Messages
10,579,017
Members
223,882
Latest member
anykadaimeni
Top