How do I fix my social skills?

They let male non-members/pledges into fraternity parties these days? That's a change.

I disagree with sho'nuff. I think your better off just getting used to talking to people. I also disagree that people need a reason to have a conversation. I am frequently at parties where I talk just to talk. I mean, what the heck else are you going to do?

Originally Posted by archetypal_yuppie

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careful not to come off as gay if talking to a guy. then everyone straight will avoid you. dressing too fancy will also cause this.

Quoted for stupidity.

^ please explain. if you think that you'll get a good response from a dude (ie make a friend) if he thinks you're hitting on him, you are wildly out of touch.

i'm guessing this is yet another case of wild oversensitivity to anything even mildly related to homophobia. i don't let that phenomenon keep me from discussing things realistically.

separately, **** off (for calling me stupid for no reason...)

Originally Posted by archetypal_yuppie

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^ please explain. if you think that you'll get a good response from a dude (ie make a friend) if he thinks you're hitting on him, you are wildly out of touch.

i'm guessing this is yet another case of wild oversensitivity to anything even mildly related to homophobia. i don't let that phenomenon keep me from discussing things realistically.

separately, **** off (for calling me stupid for no reason...)

and

Originally Posted by archetypal_yuppie

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^ please explain. if you think that you'll get a good response from a dude (ie make a friend) if he thinks you're hitting on him, you are wildly out of touch.

i'm guessing this is yet another case of wild oversensitivity to anything even mildly related to homophobia. i don't let that phenomenon keep me from discussing things realistically.

separately, **** off (for calling me stupid for no reason...)

Quoted for stupidity.

It's hard to meet people at parties like that. People go in groups, and stay in their groups. Like you said, even if you barely know someone, but recognize them at a party, it's like you've just met a long lost friend (assuming you're both drunk). I guess the trick is to meet more people sober, and once you get drunk with them, you'll connect that much more.

I don't know if that helps or not.

Tips from those other threads I mentioned and which I agree with condensed:

Do stuff. Follow interesting classes. Go follow some sort of course: Photography, dancing, writing, anything really. Join a club, any club. Talk to the people who follow the course, are members of the club. You already have a subject...

Talking to strangers at such close knitted parties is next level stuff. You may someday get there. Most likely you'll get there some of the time but not other times. Just as most everybody else. It doesn't matter.

But most importantly, be

Originally Posted by archetypal_yuppie

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careful not to come off as gay if talking to a guy. then everyone straight will avoid you. dressing too fancy will also cause this.
So don't dress to fancy.

Originally Posted by iammatt

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They let male non-members/pledges into fraternity parties these days? That's a change.

It was basically "see the group on facebook, go, pay $10, drink whatever you want, hang out." No one was invited, you just show up.

Also, thanks for the tips everyone. I agree that I need to get involved in clubs and stuff, and that way I will meet more people and make lasting friendships.

Most of the women I dated in college/university I met in class. You already have something in common then, so you aren't meeting somebody who is completely unknown. ALSO - not that anyone who is first year, as you are, is ALSO first year (or many of them are). So THEY don't know people either. They are probably feeling the same pressure/anxiety you are. SO take advantage of that. They will be HAPPY that you started a conversation with them.

Examples of conversation starters:

- On the way out of class to cute girl: "Did any of that lecture make sense to you?" Followed up with "How did you do on the last exam?", "Did you take any courses like this last year at your old school?". "Me and some friends had a study group back then... I'm thinking about having one now - give me your number/email and we can get together and study".

- And contrary to what people tell you on here, I got laid because I dressed better than the other guys. I was at a huge party one night and the hottest girl in the place, who had on a killer party dress (the only girl in a dress) walked right up to me and said, "Let's dance". She then was all over me on the dance floor. We ended up back in a dorm room. Not bad for a math geek.

At a frat house party - girls are there specifically to meet guys. So you can take the initiative and find two girls who are not with any guys: "Hey you want to meet some great guys, right?". Them : "Umm... yeah". "Ok, pick out any guys here, I'll introduce you to them". Then go find get the guys and say "Hey, these girls over here want to meet you". Then take the guys over. This makes the guys thankful to you - and the girls see you as somebody who is interesting and makes things happen. That makes you a good find. One of the girls *might* be interested in you... and/or you can find two other girls a bit later. The key to the above is to have fun with it. There are plenty of people there - most of them want to meet other people. Otherwise they'd be back in their dorm room reading or...


If it helps, practice the above before you go to the frat party. It's just a few lines and then you are off to get the guys. Pretty easy to do. And trust me, it works. I can't tell you the stuff I've pulled off just by changing things around a little. One example changes the "you want to meet guys" to.. "pick any girl you want to kiss".

But you aren't ready for the advanced material yet.

Watch Donnie Darko often. Then pepper your conversations with quotes from the movie, it will make you sound real intellectual and ****.

Originally Posted by archetypal_yuppie

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^ please explain. if you think that you'll get a good response from a dude (ie make a friend) if he thinks you're hitting on him, you are wildly out of touch. i'm guessing this is yet another case of wild oversensitivity to anything even mildly related to homophobia. i don't let that phenomenon keep me from discussing things realistically. separately, **** off (for calling me stupid for no reason...)
Sorry, but if you want to discuss this realistically, I have to say that "everyone straight" do not necessarily avoid gay guys, charming gentlemen such as yourself excepted.

Originally Posted by CDFS

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Tips from those other threads I mentioned and which I agree with condensed:

Do stuff. Follow interesting classes. Go follow some sort of course: Photography, dancing, writing, anything really. Join a club, any club. Talk to the people who follow the course, are members of the club. You already have a subject...

Talking to strangers at such close knitted parties is next level stuff. You may someday get there. Most likely you'll get there some of the time but not other times. Just as most everybody else. It doesn't matter.

But most importantly, be So don't dress to fancy.

quoted for stupidity. i have just as much basis as you did.

Originally Posted by archetypal_yuppie

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quoted for stupidity. i have just as much basis as you did.
Yes, you do seem to have a large basis.

Originally Posted by fredfred

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- And contrary to what people tell you on here, I got laid because I dressed better than the other guys. I was at a huge party one night and the hottest girl in the place, who had on a killer party dress (the only girl in a dress) walked right up to me and said, "Let's dance". She then was all over me on the dance floor. We ended up back in a dorm room. Not bad for a math geek.

Gay.

Originally Posted by archetypal_yuppie

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quoted for stupidity. i have just as much basis as you did.
Quoted for stupidity.

I just asked some people in the bar to teach me to play pool with some degree of skill.

Ended up playing for Pints for a few hours and it broke the ice.