I suck at college.

Originally Posted by samblau

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Have a drink (although I strongly disagree with getting black out drunk, it sucks), put on a decent outfit, walk up to a pretty girl confidently, say hello and take it from there.

Why do people always gloss over this part?

because we're not psychic and cant tell you what shes gonna do. if shes like 'uhhmm go away weirdo' then you go away, but if you strike up a conversation.. talk to heR??

Originally Posted by tagutcow

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Why do people always gloss over this part?
Tagut is taking copious notes, hoping he will be able to score.

Originally Posted by tagutcow

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Why do people always gloss over this part?

I think the prior two posts hit it on the head...if she tells you to screw off, walk away with a smile and don't let it get you down. If she wants to chat the subject doesn't really matter...you aren't going to discuss you innermost feelings or admit your most sensitive secrets day one. Talk about a class, your favorite off campus restaurant, outside interests (norma stuff like music...if a chick likes sports, great, but thats not normally the first thing out of my mouth). The most important thing is making that first leap.

make her laugh then put it in her butt

Originally Posted by samblau

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I think the prior two posts hit it on the head...if she tells you to screw off, walk away with a smile and don't let it get you down. If she wants to chat the subject doesn't really matter...you aren't going to discuss you innermost feelings or admit your most sensitive secrets day one. Talk about a class, your favorite off campus restaurant, outside interests (norma stuff like music...if a chick likes sports, great, but thats not normally the first thing out of my mouth). The most important thing is making that first leap.

Well I am not going, nor have ever gone to college, so those aren't exactly available topics of conversation for me. It was never my intention to hijack this thread, I just empathize quite a bit with the OP.

Even when describing approaching women as some sort of protocol, people always make the actual conversation part seem trivial. "If she makes eye contact with you three times, go up and start a conversation. Voila!"

Such people also seem to assume that confidence is the only possible holdup. I can confidently go up to people and ask their names all day long. Hell, I've even gone up to strange woman and confidently asked them for their phone numbers. I cannot, however, confidently approach a person with the intention of starting a conversation when I have absolutely nothing to talk about.

the fact that you are both at a party and both in the same college is something to talk about

Most people like to talk about themselves. Ask questions and let her answer and she'll think you're the best conversationalist she's ever met. Let the conversation go where it goes.

Originally Posted by Bradford

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Ask questions and let her answer and she'll think you're the best conversationalist she's ever met.

This is amazingly true for some girls.


OP: ever think you just suck at life? Maybe you should find a "life coach."

Originally Posted by tagutcow

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Well I am not going, nor have ever gone to college, so those aren't exactly available topics of conversation for me. It was never my intention to hijack this thread, I just empathize quite a bit with the OP.

Even when describing approaching women as some sort of protocol, people always make the actual conversation part seem trivial. "If she makes eye contact with you three times, go up and start a conversation. Voila!"

Such people also seem to assume that confidence is the only possible holdup. I can confidently go up to people and ask their names all day long. Hell, I've even gone up to strange woman and confidently asked them for their phone numbers. I cannot, however, confidently approach a person with the intention of starting a conversation when I have absolutely nothing to talk about.

Think about a few things you like to talk about that are interesting to you and use them on any woman you approach. Just be true to yourself and if they don't like what you have to say then whatever you probably aren't a good match anyway.

I hope you weren't at the party alone...before anyone should even think about girls you need some friends that you can just chill with, being alone at college must be horrible.

Anyway, with only a few years on these kids, I seriously considered walking over to the girls are just dominating...playing the lawyer card, talking about my awesome apartment, all the great bars I know. These were girls that as little as 4 years ago I could not even say "hi" too. The point is, you are all young and inexperienced in college. It is so much better to make your mistakes now as opposed to people like me, and many others on SF, who did not come out of our shells until later in life. Half of the imbeciles that win up with the hot chicks do so simply because they have the confidence to initiate a conversation. Have a drink (although I strongly disagree with getting black out drunk, it sucks), put on a decent outfit, walk up to a pretty girl confidently, say hello and take it from there. If she says no...who cares! Its college...there are plenty more, and if I recall correctly, a severe shortage of decent guys.

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says no to what?

Right. If you're in college, at a party, you have some options. If you don't know anyone/didn't come with anyone, try to spot someone that shares a class with you. Bring up how awesome/stupid/ridiculous/boring the class was, and use that to start the conversation. But don't dwell on it. Use it as an opening, then move on. Talk to them about them, what their plans are for the night, etc. If they're polite (and most people actually are), and you keep it interesting, they'll introduce you to some of the people they know there, and you can run with it.

Another option is drinking games. If they're being played, this is an excellent opportunity. Find a team game, wait till it's your turn at the table/bar/anything and ask any old stranger to play with you. In most situations, this would be a no go, but it's a drinking game, so the person (girl/boy you think is pretty) will almost always join. And if they don't, someone else definitely will. Keep the talk light, bond about how you're going to crush the people you're playing against, and you'll be set, most likely with your partner and the people you are playing against as well. Don't get sloppy. Getting black out drunk sucks, and it's a terrible way to make a first impression.

This last one is useful anywhere. Use the host. It's their job to make sure the party goes well, and the biggest part of that is making sure their guests are happy, including you. Just say, "Hey ____, I don't know anyone here and I was hoping you could introduce me." They'll love it because it makes them feel helpful/responsible/like they're doing a good job, and you'll love it because they can penetrate that bubble initial awkwardness.

Don't give up. Someone above mentioned that you should practice by striking up conversation with people you meet in everyday life, and they are absolutely right. I was never very good with people when I was younger, but my dad was spectacular, so I started paying lots of attention to his social interactions. This is what I learned. Be upbeat, funny, playful if you can. If you can't, always be polite, and always treat the person you are talking to as your equal. No better, no worse.

Good luck!

Just walk up to her, grab her by the honches, look deeply into her eyes, and then plant a big wet kiss right on ******** (I didn't say which ones).

Go from there. If you skip the talking, it goes a lot faster. Talking is for bitches.

Originally Posted by ozymandias

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On another note before you approach you must: wear a purple outfit, neg the target using push-pull, and in the first 5 minutes mention that you are gay (it won't matter when they like you)

-A

Thanks Mystery / Neil / Toolbag. Can I sign up for your next PUA geekfest?

Originally Posted by dv3

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OP: ever think you just suck at life? Maybe you should find a "life coach."

I'm starting to think some people are destined to suck at life.

You suck. No matter what you do, you will suck.

Quit wasting your and my time and go play D&D or something.

K