What is the proper response?

Mr. Moo · Feb 27, 2009

I have more than a few times ran into the following scenario:

My wife and I go out and meet some friends. Someone, usually another woman, says something like "oh, you look nice, Ilya. Your wife did a nice job picking it out."

Usually this is said in a serious tone. I usually just go "yup" and LOL for minutes on end.

Honestly, it's kind of bothersome. Is a man unable to pick out his own clothing? I can't say "no, actually I dressed myself, thanks" because that would be rude to both the woman and my wife; it would also be ungentlemanly.

Should I just continue as I have been, or is there a response that is of a level of snark I haven't reached yet?

anon · Feb 27, 2009

I think it would be appropriate (and flattering) if your wife would speak up and say that you picked out your own clothing and how great she thinks you look.

That's how I'd like my wife to respond there, anyway.

Concordia · Feb 27, 2009

And if she doesn't, you could just glare at the woman and say that you would never pin the blame for your own indiscretions on your wife.

sho'nuff · Feb 27, 2009

it's probably something i would do like you, enough issue to say something on a forum, but not enough to really say anything about it in real life. i would just move on. at least she is complementing your wife's taste and also how good you look.

robin · Feb 27, 2009

Tell them that it was actually your mistress that picked out your clothing.

NH_Clark · Feb 27, 2009

Originally Posted by anon

I think it would be appropriate (and flattering) if your wife would speak up and say that you picked out your own clothing and how great she thinks you look.

+1

otherwise, if your wife chooses not to respond, just smile and be gracious and allow your wife to enjoy the accolade.

Jekyll · Feb 27, 2009

Originally Posted by Mr. Moo

My wife and I go out and meet some friends. Someone, usually another woman, says something like "oh, you look nice, Ilya. Your wife did a nice job picking it out."

Just say, "Actually, my mom picked this outfit. My wife only picks my outfit on weekends."

rdawson808 · Feb 27, 2009

My first response is to echo what Anon said: your wife ought to be the one to speak up. For better or worse, mine does.

However, she might not hear the comment or otherwise be able to reply. So if the reply is up to you, or more accurately, when it's up to me because this happens to me too, I tend to say something like "she does have good taste." So I think so far you've taken the upper road.

On a bad day I'm prone to say "yes, that's right. I'm completely unable to dress myself. Thank you for pointing that out." Or I roll my eyes and sneer. Then they feel awkwardly. That's on a bad day.

b

TheFoo · Feb 27, 2009

I dunno--wouldn't the proper response be to not care?

Berticus · Feb 27, 2009

I'm a big boy. I picked out my own outfit.

gdl203 · Feb 27, 2009

Originally Posted by mafoofan

I dunno--wouldn't the proper response be to not care?
Yes - maybe also to start a thread on SF about how much he doesn't care, how unique of an indiidual he is for not caring, waiting impatiently for responses from others to be able to reply long multi-paragraph posts laced with sophomore-level philosophy and legal jargon, telling them just how little he really cares about their opinion, considering he is such a unique individual who doesn't care about what anyone thinks of him.

bigbris1 · Feb 27, 2009

I get this all of the time too, and just defer to my wife's response which is usually, "please, it's the other way around. He dresses me!", to which I just smile.

If she isn't within earshot, I say something like, "yeah, I don't know what I'd do without her!". I have found that in those instances where both of you aren't together when the comment is made, they will usually follow up & say the same thing to the other person, then compare the replies.

The other comment is usually that we intended to match which is usually just coincidental, like last night, my orange tie went with her top, and our son also wore an orange tie. We all dressed at different times & places & when we came together it just went.

globetrotter · Feb 27, 2009

Originally Posted by mafoofan

I dunno--wouldn't the proper response be to not care?

+1

Xiaogou · Feb 27, 2009

Originally Posted by mafoofan

I dunno--wouldn't the proper response be to not care?

No way! Imagine if someone said to you and your wife at dinner that she (your wife) did a great job picking your shoes out...

OP: Next time you see her you need to preempt. Tell her that you dressed yourself and would like her opinion.

embowafa · Feb 27, 2009

this is one of those situations where you throw up the big "W"

as in, Whatever. Smile politely, nod, and move on.....after all, isn't the REAL goal here to impress your internet friends anyway?

What is the proper response?

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Definitely full canvas only

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Really don't care

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