Transparent Moderation Log & Site Topics - Part I

I agree with shoreman.

Originally Posted by rach2jlc

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We all have awful life situations. They suck and sadly, that's life. It's not all unicorns and rainbows. Sympathy is fine, understanding is good, but automatic passes and just a lot of hand holding and petting make situations WORSE and not better. Nobody wants to be cold and unloving, but at the same time, we don't want to be enabling unhealthy emotional attitudes and immaturity."

I don't have a problem with this view, but that's not how he expressed it:

Originally Posted by why

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Since you brought it up...

Fake suicide: Woe is me! (takes pills)
Real suicide: I love you all. (stands on chair, ties noose around neck, takes pills)

Originally Posted by why

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Being suicidal doesn't make the person intellectually marsupialed.

Is this considered acceptable? Apparently why thinks it is all a game.

I agree his point is valid, but he seems to be going out of his way to make it in the most offensive way possible (though that is classic Why style). Still I think his point would be more effectively and respectfully taken if he at least started a different thread to deal with different theories of grieving and what he considers coddling.

It's not about what he's saying, and it's not even about how he's saying it (although he is being his usual asswipe), it is about where he is saying it. rach, robin - what would you think of someone launching into this kind of argument at a funeral or a wake?

I also find posting personal/private matters on the internet to be odd as well.

Originally Posted by robin

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I also find posting personal/private matters on the internet to be odd as well.

But we're a family here!!!!!

Originally Posted by shoreman1782

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But neither of you have souls.
I didn't post on that thread for a reason, but I DO think that the enabling of unhealthy emotional attitudes or self-serving parasitic behaviors do more damage than good. I'm not saying that is happening on that thread at all, but I AM saying that the "automatic pass" that ANYBODY on the interwebz gets with these discussions isn't always healthy. I love you guys, but for REAL life problems, I'm going to someone IRL whom I know and trust... or, better yet... a PROFESSIONAL. Why do this online/anonymous stuff? I have never gotten that and don't see how it could help at all. DISCLAIMER: I don't think, necessarily, that I would have chosen to make THAT thread the platform on which I would have voiced that argument, but just because why DID choose that doesn't make his statement less valid overall. EDIT: gdl203, yes, I see your point for sure. I just don't think that because he DID choose to do it there warrants any legislative action against him.

it's his general behavior. argues about everything and insinuates himself into everything. can you imagine doing business with him? i hope his business isn't motivational speaking.

Originally Posted by thekunk07

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i hope his business isn't motivational speaking.
why would be a great life coach.

Originally Posted by rach2jlc

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I didn't post on that thread for a reason, but I DO think that the enabling of unhealthy emotional attitudes or self-serving parasitic behaviors do more damage than good.

I'm not saying that is happening on that thread at all, but I AM saying that the "automatic pass" that ANYBODY on the interwebz gets with these discussions isn't always healthy.

I don't think, necessarily, that I would have chosen to make THAT thread the platform on which I would have voiced that argument, but just because why DID choose that doesn't make his statement less valid overall.

This is true, although I personally think that the OP's loss of his mother is worthy of grieving. Either way apparently we've all been spoiling why's party in the thread, so I have no further plans to post in it.

Originally Posted by JetBlast

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But we're a family here!!!!!

If you want to do the deed just jump out of a plane or into one of those jet engines. That would be an epic way to "walk away from it all" IMO. Just brainstorming.

Originally Posted by rach2jlc

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I didn't post on that thread for a reason, but I DO think that the enabling of unhealthy emotional attitudes or self-serving parasitic behaviors do more damage than good.

I'm not saying that is happening on that thread at all, but I AM saying that the "automatic pass" that ANYBODY on the interwebz gets with these discussions isn't always healthy.

I don't think, necessarily, that I would have chosen to make THAT thread the platform on which I would have voiced that argument, but just because why DID choose that doesn't make his statement less valid overall.

Does that fact that he has a valid argument grant him immunity from consequences? Hell, AF had a valid point in the post he made that got him timed out, but it was the way that he said it that got him in trouble.

note* - I do not agree with AF, just using him as an example here.

Originally Posted by randallr

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If you want to do the deed just jump out of a plane or into one of those jet engines. That would be an epic way to "walk away from it all" IMO. Just brainstorming.

It's been considered but I do not want to disrupt airport operations.

Originally Posted by JetBlast

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This is true, although I personally think that the OP's loss of his mother is worthy of grieving.
All loss is worthy of grieving and all loss is tragic, but what good does blanket "Grieving" do for the person? How does knowing that a bunch of anonymous men on teh interwebz "grieving" for your loved one fix anything? It's too damn easy. My loved ones who have passed are too valuable to get a "Oh, I'm sorry for you" that you forget in five minutes. that's the point... nobody on that thread is really crying over the guy and taking it home with them. I've lost my share of friends and family, some quickly, some so slowly that prayed every day that they'd just die and end their misery. They're worth more than just, "I'm sorry for you." THAT'S my issue with "interwebz grieving."

Originally Posted by RedLantern

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Does that fact that he has a valid argument grant him immunity from consequences? Hell, AF had a valid point in the post he made that got him timed out, but it was the way that he said it that got him in trouble. note* - I do not agree with AF, just using him as an example here.
I definitely see your point, though I don't think the situations are parallel. I don't think that why posted that to be incendiary or to create a debate... I think he just saw the blanket pass given in the same way it's given on EVERY FORUM ON TEH INTERWEBZ and intellecually, morally, and ethically dishonest. But, again, I don't know why personally and have never spoken with him, so I can't speak for him. I'm just giving my opinion.

Originally Posted by rach2jlc

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All loss is worthy of grieving and all loss is tragic, but what good does blanket "Grieving" do for the person? How does knowing that a bunch of anonymous men on teh interwebz "grieving" for your loved one fix anything?

It's too damn easy. My loved ones who have passed are too valuable to get a "Oh, I'm sorry for you" that you forget in five minutes. that's the point... nobody on that thread is really crying over the guy and taking it home with them.

I've lost my share of friends and family, some quickly, some so slowly that prayed every day that they'd just die and end their misery. They're worth more than just, "I'm sorry for you."

THAT'S my issue with "interwebz grieving."

I don't know the OP personally, but maybe he doesn't have anyone to go to about it. It's not like this is the first thread that has involved personal grieving (although not as serious as this situation) on SF.