Going childless in the U.S.

We prefer "child free."

The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent. ~Frank Pittman

I would imagine mentoring children born into unfortunate circumstances could be fulfilling.

Originally Posted by jase12

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The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent. ~Frank Pittman
So having children is selfish?

Originally Posted by grimslade

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You should have kids. They give you a reason to live.

Originally Posted by Dewey

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These days, there are strong financial incentives to not have kids. Probably it has never been more expensive to feed, clothe, amuse, and school children.

I think that this is unfortunately the reason why I'm iffy about having kids. The reason is selfish but right now I just don't "feel it". I don't want my life to be upset with someone to look after.

Part of it, too, is that I'm 29 years old and still in school (I dicked around in undergrad and changed majors 2x). I graduate next year and then have 3 years of hell to finish my residency. I want some time to enjoy my life as an adult plus spend some money on myself without having to worry about all the expenses that come along with the little bastards. Maybe I'll change my mind when I mature a bit. Problem is that the fiancee is turning 30 in 6 days and I guess the clock is ticking...

Originally Posted by Connemara

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So having children is selfish?

in a way yes. people don't have kids grudgling because they feel its their duty to the country, human race or whatever. people have kids so they can dress them up and teach them football etc etc. but if the product of that selfishness is a wel rounded addition to society then thats a pretty good side effect, and as that quote says, another welcome side effect could be making yourself a better person. pretty much a win win in my book

Originally Posted by jase12

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in a way yes. people don't have kids grudgling because they feel its their duty to the country, human race or whatever. people have kids so they can dress them up and teach them football etc etc. but if the product of that selfishness is a wel rounded addition to society then thats a pretty good side effect, and as that quote says, another welcome side effect could be making yourself a better person. pretty much a win win in my book

Wow, you're nuts.

Perhaps I'll do it as a test of reason. I have concluded (rationally, IMO) that having children is a net negative. **** emotions! I will turn them off with the power of rational thought. Does this make me a robot whore?

Originally Posted by Connemara

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Perhaps I'll do it as a test of reason. I have concluded (rationally, IMO) that having children is a net negative. **** emotions! I will turn them off with the power of rational thought.

Does this make me a robot whore?

Stop trying to make excuses to mask the fact that you can't get laid.

Originally Posted by kwilkinson

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Wow, you're nuts.

how so?

Originally Posted by Teh Style God

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If only! The only thing worse than the economic state in the etats-unis is the youth's intellectual state.

God, what an unpleasant generation.

Well I think the millenials will probably be, by far, the best educated generation and are defying the grim expectations that have been put in front of them. I think they may turn out to be another great generation.

Living in DC, I suspect probably half or more of the couples in our neighborhood that are 30+ have no children (us included). That isn't the case in more suburban areas of the city or in VA.

In any case, that statistic of 20% doesn't seem entirely implausible.

Originally Posted by jase12

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how so?

Cuz makin babies is fer perpetuatin da human race, playa. Ain't nuttin selfish bout it.

I've taken care of people all my life, since 14 or so (at a low level then, and increasing constantly, recently come down from an incredibly high peak). I'm not married, no prospects at present. I do not particularly have any desire to have kids because I am tired of taking care of people; besides there's almost zero likelihood that I would have a child before 30. I missed a lot of life and want to have some fun for a time, preferably with a like-minded woman. Fun, for me, is defined as not constantly having to plan around another who cannot care for themself.

The only real reasons I would consider kids is if I find someone special who has a child, or if we decided to adopt. Both of those options would have the full depth of my soul behind them. There are so many needy kids out there, and so many parents having 5+ kids; the disparity makes it seem heartless to have children of my 'own,' though I in no way intend that to be a criticism of others' choices.

~ Huntsman

I plan to do it myself, hopefully the gf doesn't change her mind later on. She says she dislikes kids as much as I do, but everyone keeps saying "That'll change when you're older."

Anyone go from NOT wanting kids in their younger days, to wanting them in their mid-life?