Yelling "You look like a hobo!" still an option.

I am faced with a connundrum, I just got back home after spending a pretty nice night with my girlfriend. Nothing too special just dinner, concert stuff but something dawned on me as I looked at her during the concert. She dresses horrifically. Really really terribly. She's an attractive woman but seems to not understand how to apply make up and thinks it's entertaining to find the tackiest pieces of clothing and wear them together (example, gold lame top, pink leggings with a shiny blue thing she doubles as a top/skirt depending on her mood). She always looks so much better when we don't go out and she puts no make up and just wears normal human clothing, but she thinks she looks fantastic. I've tried so hard to drop hints about her dressing better or maybe using different make up but months later and I've had no luck thusfar. It's embarassing really, it's me dressed in Fred Perry/Acne/DBs next to her looking like she's fresh from dumpster diving. She works in an art boutique but her clothing isn't bohemian or anything, just ass-ugly. She comes from a wealthy family and could afford not just normal clothes but even truly premium stuff yet she still buys 90% of her clothes in either thrift stores or in Chinatown. She resents me for spending money on clothes and it's becoming a larger issue, I've considered many options, confronting her, sending her into a make over show, or exploring the depths of my shallowness and breaking up with her over dressing badly. I'm really just tired of walking around with a woman who looks like she rides the short bus. Suggestions?

I'll try to get some pictures up soon. If this gets dumb threaded I'll be so mildly upset. This would get no views in "General" so alas...

Make small suggestions, I got my girlfriend to dress better just by "Hey, this is really good looking"
or "I really like this". Yet it took awhile for it to happen, but I noticed her style got better since we started dating.

EDIT: Before she started dressing better, I actually wanted to break-up because of her lack of style.

Originally Posted by oneblood

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She resents me for spending money on clothes and it's becoming a larger issue, I've considered many options, confronting her, sending her into a make over show, or exploring the depths of my shallowness and breaking up with her over dressing badly.
Seriously, that's hilarious. I got strange looks in the office for laughing like an idiot at my desk just now. Anyway, I'd start talking about shopping with her, in a positive way. Don't introduce any of the 'you look like crap' stuff. Then one day just say "Hey, perhaps I should buy you an outfit. Would you wear it if I got you something nice?" If she says yes, you're in. Take her out and get her something nice. Then when she wears it, compliment her on how she looks in the dress, not on how good the dress is (it's your choice in cloths, it'll sound arrogant). Just say things like "You look GREAT in that." Go shopping with her after she wears the dress a couple of times, and this time point out some stuff you like. Unless you want her expecting you to buy her stuff though (which is fine if you don't mind) I'd suggest not actually buying anything, just make suggestions. That's what I'd do anyway. EDIT: Oh yeah, and my girlfriend dressed like a bum when I first met her. She knew it too, but just didn't care that much. She's dressing much better now (and thanks to SF, so am I).

no pic, no care nice tag, marsupialed

Originally Posted by Shraka

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Seriously, that's hilarious. I got strange looks in the office for laughing like an idiot at my desk just now.

Anyway, I'd start talking about shopping with her, in a positive way. Don't introduce any of the 'you look like crap' stuff. Then one day just say "Hey, perhaps I should buy you an outfit. Would you wear it if I got you something nice?" If she says yes, you're in. Take her out and get her something nice. Then when she wears it, compliment her on how she looks in the dress, not on how good the dress is (it's your choice in cloths, it'll sound arrogant). Just say things like "You look GREAT in that."

Go shopping with her after she wears the dress a couple of times, and this time point out some stuff you like. Unless you want her expecting you to buy her stuff though (which is fine if you don't mind) I'd suggest not actually buying anything, just make suggestions.

That's what I'd do anyway.

EDIT:
Oh yeah, and my girlfriend dressed like a bum when I first met her. She knew it too, but just didn't care that much. She's dressing much better now (and thanks to SF, so am I).

was that meant to sound like an infomercial?

Originally Posted by West24

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was that meant to sound like an infomercial?

Not really... did it?


... crap.

Shraka's advice is good.

I just noticed the tags and busted out laughing.

Originally Posted by oneblood

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She comes from a wealthy family and could afford not just normal clothes but even truly premium stuff yet she still buys 90% of her clothes in either thrift stores or in Chinatown.

Rich parents have hippie, bohemian kids. It's all part of God's plan, and is not within your powers to change.

Ironically, oftentimes it's only people who grow up poor who are able to truly able to appreciate the having "nicer things in life".

I don`t know all that much about women`s clothing, but I imagine that given that it`s quite possible to find menswear gems by thrifting, it must be possible to find useful items for the fairer sex as well? I suggest going with her on some of her missions and offering assistance in finding things you think might be a step in the right direction. These may be supplemented with gifts.

That being said, if you really are considering dumping her for her clothing habits (and I say this speaking as someone who has dumped a girl for her inability to tip properly at restaurants), that might be a sign.

Originally Posted by oneblood

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I am faced with a connundrum, I just got back home after spending a pretty nice night with my girlfriend. Nothing too special just dinner, concert stuff but something dawned on me as I looked at her during the concert. She dresses horrifically. Really really terribly. She's an attractive woman but seems to not understand how to apply make up and thinks it's entertaining to find the tackiest pieces of clothing and wear them together (example, gold lame top, pink leggings with a shiny blue thing she doubles as a top/skirt depending on her mood). She always looks so much better when we don't go out and she puts no make up and just wears normal human clothing, but she thinks she looks fantastic. I've tried so hard to drop hints about her dressing better or maybe using different make up but months later and I've had no luck thusfar. It's embarassing really, it's me dressed in Fred Perry/Acne/DBs next to her looking like she's fresh from dumpster diving. She works in an art boutique but her clothing isn't bohemian or anything, just ass-ugly. She comes from a wealthy family and could afford not just normal clothes but even truly premium stuff yet she still buys 90% of her clothes in either thrift stores or in Chinatown. She resents me for spending money on clothes and it's becoming a larger issue, I've considered many options, confronting her, sending her into a make over show, or exploring the depths of my shallowness and breaking up with her over dressing badly. I'm really just tired of walking around with a woman who looks like she rides the short bus. Suggestions?

I'll try to get some pictures up soon. If this gets dumb threaded I'll be so mildly upset. This would get no views in "General" so alas...

I don't know if dating someone who dressed poorly or someone who would cowardly insult me on message boards to strangers would bother me more.

The fact that you have a girlfriend seems more than you deserve.

I had a friend that went through that New Rave phrase complete with dying her hair and lots of neon pieces. Even though we were polar opposites in the style department, she was still the same girl to me.

I suppose what I'm saying is she'll come around eventually.

Originally Posted by tagutcow

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Rich parents have hippie, bohemian kids. It's all part of God's plan, and is not within your powers to change.

Ironically, oftentimes it's only people who grow up poor who are able to truly able to appreciate the having "nicer things in life".

100% correct. When she's ready she'll buy whatever she wants, until then she's slummin' it, which if you read between the lines may make you nervous.

Let's see if I've got this right. Her parents are rich. She's attractive. And you might break up over clothes.

Seriously, I hope this is a joke.

Originally Posted by Seanallen

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I just noticed the tags and busted out laughing.

+1

Pictures!