Your favorite Jokes?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Soph, Oct 1, 2006.

  1. Nantucket Red

    Nantucket Red "Mr. Fashionista"

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    Guy walks into a bar with a monkey on his head.

    Bartender asks, "What'll you have?"

    Monkey says, "Gimme a bourbon straight up, and the stupid monkey'll have a beer."

    In the same vein:

    Guy walks into a vetrinarian's office with a parrot on his shoulder. The receptionist asks, "What can I do for you?"

    Parrot says, "I'd like to see the doctor about removing this ugly wart from my ass."
     


  2. chrysalid

    chrysalid Senior member

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    Why are pirates called pirates?
    Because they AAARRRRRRRR!

    (one for the mid-90s ravers)
    Why do monkeys get lost?
    Because jungle is massive.

    How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Two, one to change the lightbulb and one to su....on second thoughts, this forum is relatively polite company.
     


  3. Nantucket Red

    Nantucket Red "Mr. Fashionista"

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    How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?

    Two: One to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
     


  4. Britalian

    Britalian Senior member

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    Why are pirates called pirates?
    Because they AAARRRRRRRR!



    How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Two, one to change the lightbulb and one to su....on second thoughts, this forum is relatively polite company.


    [​IMG]

    Yes, I know how it 'finishes off'... [​IMG] [​IMG]
     


  5. chrysalid

    chrysalid Senior member

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    [​IMG]

    Yes, I know how it 'finishes off'... [​IMG] [​IMG]


    It has a happy ending, as they say down the docks.
     


  6. rdawson808

    rdawson808 Senior member

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    How many kids with ADD does it take to cha---Hey. let's go ride our bikes!


    b
     


  7. masqueofhastur

    masqueofhastur Senior member

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    How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes him 4 episodes to do it.
     


  8. thinman

    thinman Senior member

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    How many supermodels does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. She holds the bulb, while the rest of the universe revolves around HER (you have to say it with the correct tooone).
     


  9. chrysalid

    chrysalid Senior member

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    How many scatologists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the bulb, the other to hold the stool.
     


  10. RJman

    RJman Posse Member Dubiously Honored

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    How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

    Fish

    How many message board trolls does it take to change a light bulb?

    One, but he uses fifty different identities to do it.

    OR

    Two: one to change the light bulb and one to blame Manton for it being out.
     


  11. aportnoy

    aportnoy Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Three telltale signs that Jesus was Jewish:

    1: He lived at home until he was 25
    2: He went into his father's business
    3: His mother thought he was God

    [​IMG]
     


  12. Huntsman

    Huntsman Senior member

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    How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

    Fish


    Was it soluble?
     


  13. Toiletduck

    Toiletduck Senior member

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    Awesome! [​IMG]

    Nice!

    Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit, it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... a talking muffin!"
     


  14. Nantucket Red

    Nantucket Red "Mr. Fashionista"

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    What's the difference between a tribe of Pygmies and a women's track team?

    One's a bunch of cunning runts.

    [​IMG]
     


  15. VKK3450

    VKK3450 Senior member

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    What do you call a two legged cow?











    Lean Beef....













    What do you call a no legged cow???

















    Ground Beef.....




















    K
     


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