You know you're a tryhard when...

[mak1277]

For additional context, I'm a 61-year-old, skinny, bald, married white male. Too young to get the "adorably eccentric old man" get out of jail free card. You don't get one of those until you are 70.

I'll give you some obvious tryhard signals for my cohort:

• trophy wives
• mid-life crisis cars (ferraris etc.)
• dyed hair or any kind of "hair system"
• plastic surgery
• plastic bead or any other kind of bracelet

But these are too easy; they're throwaways. I'm more interested in what would be considered tryhard, regardless of age.

IDK...if you're older, divorced and well off, why wouldn't you get a trophy wife? Why wouldn't you get a hot car? If those things are wrong I don't want to be right.

 

[dauster]

IDK...if you're older, divorced and well off, why wouldn't you get a trophy wife? Why wouldn't you get a hot car? If those things are wrong I don't want to be right.

I guess it all depends on what YOU like and what circle of friends you have. Ferrari and trophy wife in Beverley Hills or Dallas are not a biggie but elsewhere it might be frowned upon.

 

[Phileas Fogg]

I guess it all depends on what YOU like and what circle of friends you have. Ferrari and trophy wife in Beverley Hills or Dallas are not a biggie but elsewhere it might be frowned upon.

you’ve never been to Wichita my friend.

 

[Nobilis Animus]

OK I don't have necessary and sufficient conditions for being perceived as a tryhard, but I can think of a ton of sufficient conditions. These vary a lot with location and age. My list is for people between 30 and 50, in urban areas in Western Europe and the East coast of the US, roughly. I feel I can't really speak to the OP's stated context.

- A pocket square (other than white linen at special events).

- Ties in most situations where they're not required nor common.

- Dark suits in most situations where they're not required nor common.

- Cufflinks outside of formal occasions.

The dark suits I can understand, although I think this can vary depending on type - i.e. a drab, navy business suit vs something more interesting.

I don't know about the others, personally. Plain MOP cufflinks (no metal edges) are almost unnoticeable on a white shirt. A pocket square that is drawing attention to itself as a pocket square can be tricky - generally I treat mine like handkerchiefs and choose/use them accordingly.

Of course, it's possible that I'm perceived at try-hard and just don't know about it, but I just do my own style anyway. As long as the ladies and my social circles seem to like it, it can't be that bad.

 

[dauster]

you’ve never been to Wichita my friend.

this is all I know about it:

I am a lineman for the county
And I drive the main road
Searchin' in the sun for another overload
I hear you singing in the wire
I can hear you through the whine
And the Wichita lineman
Is still on the line

 

[Phileas Fogg]

I’m not sure if this qualifies as Tryhard but an outfit that is an explosion of clashing colors and patterns could be considered such a thing.

Though it may also be a sign that the person has not yet refined their own sense of style. Sort of hate to throw someone under the bus if the intention is really not to tryhard.

The comment about being sad that we may poke fun at someone for trying hard misses the mark a bit.

If I’m not mistaken, the OP is referring to “Tryhard” and spelling it in such a way as to define a particular ethos. This man dresses over the top and knows it. Perhaps he doesn’t care and perhaps he does. Either way, he’s foppish.

If someone is genuinely trying hard to look good and sometimes strays off target, we’ll, that’s part of the learning curve. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Spaghettimatt]

You know you’re a tryhard when you wear oxfords with chinos.

 

[otterhound]

This man dresses over the top and knows it.

I'm actually referring to a man who dresses over the top and doesn't realize it.

 

[Nobilis Animus]

On the subject of one's lifestyle and trying too hard, I'd like to quote from one of my favourite authors on the subject:

As for particularizing your dress, that were a task quite absurd and impertinent, considering that you are to wear it, and not I, and remembering the variations of fashion. . .
. . .A few general rules, however, may be gently hinted to a young fellow who has perhaps a propensity to fall into certain errors.

Eschew violent sporting-dresses, such as one sees but too often in the parks and public places on the backs of misguided young men. There is no objection to a hostler wearing a particular costume, but it is a pity that a gentleman should imitate it. I have seen in like manner young fellows at Cowes attired like the pictures we have of smugglers, buccaneers, and mariners, in Adelphi melodramas. I would like my Bob to remember that his business in life is neither to handle a currycomb nor a marlinspike, and to fashion his habit accordingly. - Thackeray

 

[bicycleradical]

When I first developed a taste for tailoring, I was probably a tryhard sporting a pocket square, tie bar, etc. After some experience and learning, the flashy stuff went away and I tried to nail the fit down. As has been said on this board, I tried to dress well instead of dressing up and thinking I was dressing well.

I imagine others have had taken a similar path in their sartorial journeys.

 

[darkcharger]

I suppose it depends on the context on why you are exerting such effort. If these lifestyle choices are for your own self-gratification then I don't really see a problem. Overindulging for validation or attention from others is what I call being a "tryhard' in a negative connotation.

 

[RSS]

In your avatar it appears you are in "white tie". If you are wearing that to "Chili's" ... you are trying too hard. Otherwise just keep doing what you're doing.

I look at it thusly: What others think about what I wear is none of my business. But should someone elect to share in a way that is intentionally unhelpful ... you can always pull out Coco Chanel's line: "I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all."

 

[JFWR]

"Tryhard" is what losers call winners.

 

[clothingfun]

I think once you're retired you're either old enough or rich enough (or both) for this not to matter anymore.

This pretty much sums it up for me.

 

[mak1277]

"Tryhard" is what losers call winners.

Eh...I think it's probably more accurate to say the "tryhards" want to be winners but don't know how to, so they end up looking/acting foolish. It's like the guy in every group who loves to try busting balls with his buddies but just isn't funny or clever enough to do it well.