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You know you're a tryhard when...

JLibourel

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"Tryhard" all the way I am! I mean, any guy who will routinely rock the ascot in SoCal, even while out walking the dogs, has got to qualify! I suppose most of the regulars on this forum are "tryhards." But then, I consider myself as the apogee of classic elegance and timeless style (or like to kid myself, anyway). Other men are slovens or else "trying too hard," most of them, anyway.
 

Hellbent

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Every time I see someone who clearly made an effort dressing up I want to be that person’s friend. It is obvious to me that a man who does not egoistically dress for their own comfort, but for the benefit of others and for making the world s bit nicer, is worth knowing.
 

paulraphael

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In your avatar it appears you are in "white tie". If you are wearing that to "Chili's" ... you are trying too hard. Otherwise just keep doing what you're doing.
If I saw you at Chili's in white tie, I'd just assume you'd woken up like that on a park bench and are nursing your hangover. Respect.
 
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paulraphael

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The idea of the tryhard is a funny paradox. We'd never accuse someone of trying too hard if they were building a cathedral, or solving equations for nuclear fusion. But some things are more beautiful if they dupe us with the illusion of ease. Great musicians make performances sound effortless. We know they're not—but if we heard someone struggling to reach the notes and keep time the illusion would be lost. I think clothes are like that. It's why there's endless talk about sprezzatura—the art of trying real hard to look like you're not trying.

In summary, Lyndon B. Johnson's pocket square:
1_mJwUV4rALXUWaWEAnXV6zg-736x1024.jpeg
 

Phileas Fogg

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The idea of the tryhard is a funny paradox. We'd never accuse someone of trying too hard if they were building a cathedral, or solving equations for nuclear fusion. But some things are more beautiful if they dupe us with the illusion of ease. Great musicians make performances sound effortless. We know they're not—but if we heard someone struggling to reach the notes and keep time the illusion would be lost. I think clothes are like that. It's why there's endless talk about sprezzatura—the art of trying real hard to look like you're not trying.

In summary, Lyndon B. Johnson's pocket square: View attachment 1671815
the idea of trying hard and “tryhard” if I’m to understand the distinction could apply to all things, as you’ve mentioned. Trying hard implies an honest effort at achieving an ideal. The “tryhard” is a vapid and superficial effort meant more for show than any honest and vested effort toward that ideal.

I’ll offer my opinion.

Trying hard:


tryhard:



trying hard:



tryhard:

 

paulraphael

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The “tryhard” is a vapid and superficial effort meant more for show than any honest and vested effort toward that ideal.
Does it have to be that bad? I sense that the OP isn't being vapid or superficial. He's afraid he's making some questionable choices. I think you can have the best of intentions, but come off as a tryhard because you haven't figured things out yet.

Like how to fit your new clothes into your lifestyle. Or how to talk to the girls in your class without nearly having a heart attack.
 

Phileas Fogg

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Does it have to be that bad? I sense that the OP isn't being vapid or superficial. He's afraid he's making some questionable choices. I think you can have the best of intentions, but come off as a tryhard because you haven't figured things out yet.

Like how to fit your new clothes into your lifestyle. Or how to talk to the girls in your class without nearly having a heart attack.
not suggesting he is or was. Simply expressing my opinion of what the terms imply.
 

Hellbent

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Tryhard is a phase everybody who evolves goes through. As you grow up and grow older you try different things that you think you might like. In the beginning you are a tryhard, at least if you are sincere in your endeavour. But as you progress, the phase of authenticity takes over. I have been, and still is, a tryhard regarding many things. And I don't plan to stop anytime soon.
 

dauster

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Recently began dating a woman who has excellent (meaning not overdone but effortless) style. We decided to go out last Friday to a white tablecloth restaurant in our area. It is located on a street closed to traffic to allow the many restaurants to have generous outdoor seating. With over 30 bars and restaurants of all variety, it is a very popular spot, especially for millennials. The weather was perfect. She looked beautiful in what I would deem a casually elegant outfit. I wore a POW linen sportcoat and dark wash jeans and a white linen pocket square (barely poking out). Not less than three different 20 something hostesses that we passed remarked about our attire, as if we were heading to a formal function - "WOW - your so dressed up!" was a typical comment. We were not even dining there, just strolling by. To be sure - 95% of all the patrons were in t shirts and jeans if not more casual.

Are we "tryhards"? I don't think so. We just enjoy looking nice for each other and making our "Date Night" a little special. I do not really care what others think, but I did respond politely to one hostess that she should make her man dress up for her on occasion. She agreed.

It was overall a perfect evening.
frankly, I don't think this would have happened in Europe or in Manhattan in a more upscale environment but I am guessing you were in the "burbs" ?
 

otterhound

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There have been lots of comments in the vein of "just be yourself", "dress like you want", etc. But is this really a good life strategy?

Like it or not, we live in a social world where those we interact with make near-instantaneous assessments of us. Our attire contributes to the assessment. See the studies at this Google Scholar search.

Somewhere in this or another thread, someone observed that he was better treated by the TSA when he wore a suit. I sure as hell would rather get through TSA faster. I do dress better to fly (although not in a suit) for that reason. Same thing on check in to a hotel; maybe it will help me get a room upgrade. I even do it for doctor's appointments to make it more likely that they will not dumb our discussion.

Thus, I do try hard to dress to affect others' opinion of me. Even TSA dudes. Because it can make my life easier or make it more likely that I get what I want. Does that make me a tryhard? Yeah. Shallow? Transactional? Maybe.
 

Cherokeepilot

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I continue to dress as I have always dressed since grad school. In grad school, I usually dressed in Levi's jeans and shirts and moccasins. When I went to class in my suit and tie from the courthouse, seemed like everybody thought that I had just landed from Mars.

Wearing suits for work comes fairly naturally. Nor do I view it as tryhard. Even now I still get complements about my dress or 'nice shoes' from some folks gettn' stuffed into the back seat of radio cars. And while I wear a suit to church I do not look down on a working man who worships wearing one of his Demin work shirts freshly washed with ironed starched creases on which you would cut your finger.

While in Africa, I worked with gentlemen who usually were dressed in suits and ties from their Paris or London shops. Their price range was much higher than I could afford nor obtain here in the states. There was no tryhard for these individuals because this style was their usual working dress.

We all try to dress for what is appropriate for our work and social occasions regardless of where on this earth....73s
 

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TheChihuahua

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I continue to dress as I have always dressed since grad school. In grad school, I usually dressed in Levi's jeans and shirts and moccasins. When I went to class in my suit and tie from the courthouse, seemed like everybody thought that I had just landed from Mars.

Wearing suits for work comes fairly naturally. Nor do I view it as tryhard. Even now I still get complements about my dress or 'nice shoes' from some folks gettn' stuffed into the back seat of radio cars. And while I wear a suit to church I do not look down on a working man who worships wearing one of his Demin work shirts freshly washed with ironed starched creases on which you would cut your finger.

While in Africa, I worked with gentlemen who usually were dressed in suits and ties from their Paris or London shops. Their price range was much higher than I could afford nor obtain here in the states. There was no tryhard for these individuals because this style was their usual working dress.

We all try to dress for what is appropriate for our work and social occasions regardless of where on this earth....73s
good post.

there Is an odd group think desire on this board.
really this board should be more about sharing different looks so each person can develop their own individual style.
instead it seems like a couple different posters pushing an agenda or a look that they like, and criticizing others who don’t fit that look.

but ultimately the look that works for one person in terms of body shape and fitness and also climate and work environment would be totally out of place for somebody else.
yet there are some here that would label one person a “try hard” for doing what is natural for them.

it’s odd.
 

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