1. You’re on vacation and you find yourself constantly worrying about how many menswear RSS feed updates you’ll have to scroll through when you come back. 2. When you’re in London, your girlfriend wants to go to the British Museum and you’re trying to think of a way to convince her that Savile Row would be more fun. When she wants to see other parts of Europe, you start researching what cultural life there is in Naples. Also, neither of you have ever been interested in Budapest, but now that you’ve learned about Vass bespoke … 3. You’ve considered moving to a region with longer winters just so you can wear FW collections more often, but then shudder when you realize you would have to find a new tailor and dry cleaner. 4. You feel kind of lonely and empty inside when you come home and don’t see a package waiting for you at your doorstep. 5. The sole motivation for advancing your career is the shoe collection that you hope you’ll one day be able to afford. 6. You find that your early years of sneaking glances at women are now coming in handy when eyeing particularly well dressed men. 7. You’d rather flip through a swatch book than Playboy. 8. You’ve bought things that you’ll never wear, and don’t know anyone who would, just because they’re interesting in and of themselves and would be nice to have in “a collection.” 9. Your friend asks you for your opinion on a pair of shoes he’s considering buying, and you don’t even know where to begin. 10. You know how to say wool in six different languages and “where is the bathroom” in two. 11. You get annoyed when sales associates know less about construction and materials than you do. 12. You avoid shopping at Barneys or Saks with your girlfriend for fear that one of the sales associates may come and greet you by your name while you’re with her. 13. Without you requesting, your tailor occasionally sends you swatches of fabrics you might like. 14. You hold on to seasonal catalogs you get in the mail for “archival purposes.” 15. You’re about to have sex with your girlfriend, but then have to pause so that you can fold and hang your trousers by their creases, find hangers with molded shoulders, and insert cedar trees into your shoes. add moar.