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Why GQ is bad for America

MANLY MAN

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The publication GQ (Gay Quarterly) seeks to indoctrinate the American male into a lifestyle of homosexuality. The editors of this glossy fashion mag sanitize homosexual acts under the guise of "metrosexuality" i.e. the urban professional male who is in touch with his feminine side and takes pride in his appearance.
I admonish you, nothing could be further from the truth. The metrosexual trend, promoted of late by the Western media is nothing more than an insidious plot initiated by the Chinese Communist High Command. The goal of this plot is clear: the political domination of the civilized world.
Think about it, what better way to conquer a proud society of rugged, individualistic men than by "wussification." When the Red Army marches on Washington, there will be no one to defend American liberty, because all the big strong men will be out getting facials and swilling triple lattes.
We need to get back to a frame of values in this country in which it is acceptable for men to sit for days at a time in their battered recliners, unshaven, guzzling beer from an open can and letting it drizzle down their lips and onto their sleeveless undershirts.

American men should be encouraged to go for weeks without shaving and expectorate in public, secure in the knowledge that the size of their 'loogie' will render them irresistable to female passersby.

And speaking of females, equality in the workplace is simply unacceptable. Women need to stop being CEO's and physicians and either return to the home and take care of the bastard kids they produced despite our strenuous objections or be satisfied with secretarial or nursing jobs and quit whining about that feminazi glass-ceiling nonsense.
Gender equality inevitably leads to homoerotic sensations amongst males who are not equipped to cope with the diminution of their traditional societal roles.

Men, I implore you, drink a beer, grab a girl's butt, make fake farting noises, get your ass down to the record store (that's right, no downloading MP3's) and buy an AC/DC CD or better yet a casette tape, wear faded Van Heusen slacks and stop getting your legs waxed. Take your coffee black and if you must, have a plain donut on the side-no frilly pastries or cream puffs. The future stability of the civilized world may depend on it. Otherwise we will all wake up one day and be saluting Chairman Mao and wondering how the great American experiment went so wrong.
 

Demeter

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Men, I implore you, drink a beer, grab a girl's butt, make fake farting noises, get your ass down to the record store (that's right, no downloading MP3's) and buy an AC/DC CD, wear faded Van Heusen slacks and stop getting your legs waxed.
I shit you not; I actually did every single one of those things last night - minus the buying the AC/DC cd because the record store was closed. I also got a cop to testify that my temporary licence is, indeed, legal proof that I am me despite the lack of photos so I can get into a night club, and took one of the girls I met through seven blocks of people's back yards trying to find the main road because I listened to her suggestion to check out a creepy enshrubbed baseball diamond in the middle of the night and promptly got lost.

IRREFUTABLE PROOF THAT I AM THE MACHO KING OF THE RUN-ON SENTENCE.
 

bch

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Why did this post get deleted over on Ask Andy? Somebody's gotta let the Trads in on this insidious plot.
 

Teacher

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Don't feed the trolls.
 

Teacher

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(Teacher @ June 18 2005,12:26) Don't feed the trolls.
I think this is a tongue-in-cheek, incognito post by one of our current members.
Oh, I'm not taking it seriously...still, it's kind of weird.
 

Huntsman

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Probably is. On the other hand, it does highlight a certain stratification of the general perception of manhood. People seem to be dividing men into merely two subsets: beer-guzzling, sports-watching breast-oglers (or those who want to be), and homosexual (or metrosexual, which is considered borderline homosexual anyways). I think that sells men short, and it's a shame. BTW, Manly Man, I bake pastry, can talk about my feelings, and don't make farting noises. But I'm also mean with everything from a Browning M2HB to a Colt .45, or even a knife, and I'll be on the lines if 'whomever' comes marching and the country calls. So go sit down drink your beer and crank AC/DC, the Republic will be safe. Now, where's my cappucino? Regards, Huntsman
 

StevenRocks

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Men do not pick out their personalities based on checklists and GQ is a fine magazine. Go away troll
 

MANLY MAN

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Steve, From your blog:

Victory prevailed in the Michael Jackson child molestation case. He was found not guilty. I didn't want to believe that MJ was guilty. Anyone that would do that much for kids and was that sensitive wouldn't hurt a child. I have a little faith in the American justice system again...

I rest my case...Now pick up a 6-pack and some beef jerky, and I mean now.
 

Kent Wang

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I thought this was going to be a serious discussion about GQ's shortcomings. The articles are mostly celebrity hagiography. Glenn O'Brien, The Style Guy, is highly dogmatic -- but at least not trad. Highly advertising driven coverage. Only major brands are shown; H&K, T&A, Brioni, etc don't even exist in the pages of GQ.
 

gorgekko

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This is one of the funniest trolls I've read on this board, ha ha. I've fretted about the feminization of men for quite a while but I had no idea that the "Chinese High Command" was responsible
 

mack11211

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Men, I implore you, drink a beer, grab a girl's butt, make fake farting noises, get your ass down to the record store (that's right, no downloading MP3's) and buy an AC/DC CD or better yet a casette tape, wear faded Van Heusen slacks and stop getting your legs waxed.
Would it be Ok if I grabbed a guy's butt instead of a girl's?

I think I can do all the other stuff.

Just asking...
 

JLibourel

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I had noted that Malinda had immediately deleted what I presume was the same post over on the Andy Forum. Unless I am missing the mark widely, I presume that the Manly Man's post was meant to be comical and satirical...hard for me to see how anyone could be offended by it.
 

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