1. And... we're back. You'll notice that all of your images are back as well, as are our beloved emoticons, including the infamous :foo: We have also worked with our server folks and developers to fix the issues that were slowing down the site.

    There is still work to be done - the images in existing sigs are not yet linked, for example, and we are working on a way to get the images to load faster - which will improve the performance of the site, especially on the pages with a ton of images, and we will continue to work diligently on that and keep you updated.

    Cheers,

    Fok on behalf of the entire Styleforum team
    Dismiss Notice

Why do people make flippant promises?

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by bluemax, Nov 21, 2008.

  1. bluemax

    bluemax Senior member

    Messages:
    206
    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2008
    Is it unreasonable to expect someone to do something they say they'll do? I'm not talking about elected politicians, but rather friends and acquaintances. I don't know if it's a product of modern society or if I'm just young and naive and people have always been this way, but I find all too often people will agree to something and just not follow through. They'll conveniently forget when I bring the topic up later. If you don't actually mean to do something, then don't say you will. If you've actually forgotten about it, that tells me you weren't serious to begin with, and you're making flippant promises, which to me is disrespectful. You won't lose my respect if you insert a "maybe" or "possibly" into your agreement, but you will if you agree to something and don't do it. Whatever happened to courtesy, honor, and reputation? Do people not value these things anymore? The Sarcastic Generation (my own Gen Y) seems to be free of guilt and any sense of responsibility and respect when making promises. Their word is worth nothing. How can someone make flippant promises and not expect people to think ill of them? Am I expecting too much of people?
     
  2. sho'nuff

    sho'nuff Senior member

    Messages:
    22,225
    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2006
    Location:
    Irvine
    i dont think that is a problem with just your generation, as much as a problem with every generation since the dawn of man.
     
  3. danyllau

    danyllau Senior member

    Messages:
    221
    Joined:
    May 1, 2008
    There are also those who alway sounds indecisive. They do not make any promise at all and left you without any expectation of them.
     
  4. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

    Messages:
    15,831
    Joined:
    May 4, 2006
    Location:
    New York Shitty
    There are also those who alway sounds indecisive. They do not make any promise at all and left you without any expectation of them.

    [​IMG]
     
  5. RedLantern

    RedLantern Senior member

    Messages:
    3,277
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Location:
    The Brooklyn of Seattle
    I think people "agree" to do things they never intend to do just to be polite. I seldom hear anyone "promise" to do anything.
     
  6. JoeWoah

    JoeWoah Senior member

    Messages:
    3,777
    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2007
    Location:
    Hollywood for Ugly People... Washington, DC
    Would you like someone to ask what happened for you to bring this up?

    ... let it all out.
     
  7. dexterhaven

    dexterhaven Senior member

    Messages:
    361
    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2008
    Some people are just wimpy and don't like to say yes or no.

    Other people are inconsiderate and like to keep all their options open. They make multiple engagements so they can pick and choose the most appealing one when the time comes. This is a natural human tendency, I think. But it is also bad manners. Past generations seem to have realized this and tried worked against this tendency. Gen Y seems oblivious.
     
  8. Star

    Star Senior member

    Messages:
    592
    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2008
    Location:
    In Exile Corsica
    You can't do much about it other than make a mental note of those people who do come through for you in life.
     
  9. KFS

    KFS Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    72
    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2008
    I haven't got the time to post an answer in full right now but I'll get back to you... I promise.
     
  10. KhouriC

    KhouriC Senior member

    Messages:
    114
    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Location:
    NYC
    I haven't got the time to post an answer in full right now but I'll get back to you... I promise.

    me too....
     
  11. rdawson808

    rdawson808 Senior member

    Messages:
    4,226
    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Location:
    The Capital
    Other people are inconsiderate and like to keep all their options open. They make multiple engagements so they can pick and choose the most appealing one when the time comes. This is a natural human tendency, I think. But it is also bad manners. Past generations seem to have realized this and tried worked against this tendency. Gen Y seems oblivious.

    I disagree about it being human nature. It's learned. My mother taught me early on that this was not acceptable. Primary school probably.

    I hate this behavior. I find it the height of rudeness. And I've told off two women, both of whom I desparately wanted to sleep with, for it. I basically told them to go to hell. It's not worth it to be treated like that.

    I say stand up to it and tell your "friends" that in the future if they have no intention of following through, that it would polite to just not commit in the first place.


    b
     
  12. MetroStyles

    MetroStyles Senior member

    Messages:
    15,831
    Joined:
    May 4, 2006
    Location:
    New York Shitty
    Honestly, I'm not sure if I'll respond to this thread yet. I'll let you know tomorrow night.
     
  13. Orange

    Orange Senior member

    Messages:
    333
    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2008
    When a girl or a guy you just met (for a short time in a friendly fashion) tells you they'll call you I think a reasonable person would just take note of it but wouldn't waste time waiting for the call.

    If your scenario is like this maybe you're just naive.
     
  14. gsugsu

    gsugsu Senior member

    Messages:
    894
    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Sometimes it is cultural. When I worked in Latin America people would make plans for dinner or meetings and not show up. I took offense; I wondered why they didn't have the courtesy to show up. But later I was told that that was the way things are. No one takes offense if you say you will be there and don't show up. So it was me who had unrealistic expectations. But, that said, if I promise to do something or be somewhere then I try to meet that obligation to the best of my ability.
     
  15. danyllau

    danyllau Senior member

    Messages:
    221
    Joined:
    May 1, 2008
    Sometimes it is cultural. When I worked in Latin America people would make plans for dinner or meetings and not show up. I took offense; I wondered why they didn't have the courtesy to show up. But later I was told that that was the way things are. No one takes offense if you say you will be there and don't show up. So it was me who had unrealistic expectations. But, that said, if I promise to do something or be somewhere then I try to meet that obligation to the best of my ability.
    Further reinforced my uninformed views of that part of the world....
     
  16. Spatlese

    Spatlese Senior member

    Messages:
    2,288
    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2008
    For some reason, this thread got me thinking about white lies. Alas, I'm too lazy to start a thread about it. I promise I'll think about it later. Lookin' good btw, all of you today.
     
  17. tonylumpkin

    tonylumpkin Senior member

    Messages:
    2,518
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Location:
    Pittsburgh
    Is it unreasonable to expect someone to do something they say they'll do?

    I'm not talking about elected politicians, but rather friends and acquaintances. I don't know if it's a product of modern society or if I'm just young and naive and people have always been this way, but I find all too often people will agree to something and just not follow through. They'll conveniently forget when I bring the topic up later. If you don't actually mean to do something, then don't say you will. If you've actually forgotten about it, that tells me you weren't serious to begin with, and you're making flippant promises, which to me is disrespectful. You won't lose my respect if you insert a "maybe" or "possibly" into your agreement, but you will if you agree to something and don't do it.

    Whatever happened to courtesy, honor, and reputation? Do people not value these things anymore? The Sarcastic Generation (my own Gen Y) seems to be free of guilt and any sense of responsibility and respect when making promises. Their word is worth nothing. How can someone make flippant promises and not expect people to think ill of them? Am I expecting too much of people?


    There's a word I'm trying to think of.....ironic, that's it![​IMG]
     
  18. rdawson808

    rdawson808 Senior member

    Messages:
    4,226
    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Location:
    The Capital
    When a girl or a guy you just met (for a short time in a friendly fashion) tells you they'll call you I think a reasonable person would just take note of it but wouldn't waste time waiting for the call.

    If your scenario is like this maybe you're just naive.


    If his scenarioius is like this maybe those people are rude. How about that? God, what an egocentric world some people live in.
     
  19. Edward Appleby

    Edward Appleby Senior member

    Messages:
    3,246
    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2005
    Location:
    Cambridge/Texas
    It sounds to me like the OP doesn't understand the difference between a polite equivocation and an actual promise.
     

Share This Page

Styleforum is proudly sponsored by