Who here has lost their father?

[Coldsnap]

My father has been battling prostate cancer for about 2 years and its been looking pretty grim. I consider myself to be young (22) and it might be hard going through my mid 20s without a father. I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm mostly wondering who here has experienced this and do you have any regrets or advise for me? Much appreciated.

 

[Piobaire]

I didn't lose my father. He dropped dead when I was nine, and I know exactly where he's buried.

Tell him anything you want him to know. You'll value that years from now.

 

[thinman]

Originally Posted by Piobaire

I didn't lose my father. He dropped dead when I was nine, and I know exactly where he's buried.

Tell him anything you want him to know. You'll value that years from now.

+1. Remember the good times; treasure those you love and still have with you. Tell them daily anything you want them to know.
My dad died of throat cancer when I was nine.

 

[JLibourel]

At least be thankful that you have had a father to guide you into manhood. Mine was killed before I was born.

My stepson. when he was not quite four, saw his father keel over and die of a heart attack.

 

[Neo_Version 7]

Four posts in and this is looking a lot more depressing than the unemployment thread.

If he's given you little keepsakes (like a book, for instance), I'd treasure it. I saw my father over Christmas and he gave me his vintage Ray-Ban Clubmasters which is older than I am. Something I'll treasure for a long time.

 

[indy116]

Dad died shortly before I turned 16. If I said it didn't affect me, I'd be a liar.

Ask him questions. When he's gone, you won't be able to.

 

[Dakota rube]

Mine died when I was a young man; I miss him to this day.
I echo every post herein. There are words of great wisdom here.

 

[bullethead]

My father died suddenly, my mother died of cancer.

Though you don't want to see your dad suffer, it will be a chance to spend quality time together. In the two and a half years my mom was sick-she was in pretty decent shape for most of it-we had many great conversations and a lot of good laughs. Also learned some great life lessons.

As other posters have said, your feelings won't be left unsaid.

 

[robertorex]

I'm sorry to hear that, man. Talk to him as much as possible. Get to know what he likes, what he hates, just get a picture of his personality painted in your mind. Do all the things you love doing together, and give the both of you some happy memories for the road ahead.

 

[HORNS]

Originally Posted by Coldsnap

My father has been battling prostate cancer for about 2 years and its been looking pretty grim. I consider myself to be young (22) and it might be hard going through my mid 20s without a father. I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm mostly wondering who here has experienced this and do you have any regrets or advise for me? Much appreciated.

Dude, I wish you and your father the best of luck. The idea of losing my parents has always been a disproportionally large fear of mine. Fortunately, both of my parents are still around (I'm 37) and expect them to be for another 20 years (knock on wood). It is NOT something that I look forward to, but it would be worse to have them bury ME.

 

[CDFS]

Do things together (hiking,visiting a concert, fishing, eating out, anything)

Talk about all the things you and he wanted to talk about but never did.

Let him meet friends and SO, ofcourse the first only if he has the time/inclination.
It feels good to talk about your loss with someone who knows him

Talk to your friends/SO

Tell him you love him.

Be there every time you can. In hindsight it always feels as if you could have done more...

I lost my mother last june.

 

[A Canuker]

I lost my dad a few years ago and miss him every day. Ask lots of questions and MAKE lots of time. Do anything that you wanted or wished you might have. Be happy and laugh. Make time to spend with your mom because (if they are togther) she is going through some very hard nights when its just the two of them. Cancer sucks and can turn before you notice it getting worse but it is not a death sentance so be positve.

My house wishes you nothing but the best.

 

[DrZRM]

If he's healthy enough to travel, take a trip with him. I went to Amsterdam with my dad a year before he passed from leukemia last year. I really treasure the memory. Sorry that you are going through this. I miss my old man a lot.

 

[Jekyll]

Mine died a little over a year ago. But in my case, it affected my life for the better. I do miss him sometimes though.

 

[denimdestroyedmylife]

My dad died when I was 23. I was his only living relation and I had to care for him basically by myself for the three months after his prognosis. The tough thing is all the questions you think of asking him after the fact. I would say, pick his brain, write stuff down.