Who do you dress for?

[norcaltransplant]

Unfortunately, it's a dangerous road because once you've established yourself as the stylish guy at work and in life, you have to constantly dress nicely. If I were to just throw on a pair of ill-fitting pants and an ugly wrinkled shirt, people would assume there was something wrong with me or my marriage...

Great quote. If I showed up in study hall in trackpants or wrinkled khakis, this means A) I'm heading to the gym after studying, B) studying isn't going that hot, or C) I'm suffering from a post-relationship argument.

On a more comical note, I have been asked twice if I forgot a sportcoat during two different review sessions... in both cases, I was not the owner of the said jacket.

 

[imageWIS]

Quote:

(Bradford @ Feb. 22 2005,11:12) Unfortunately, it's a dangerous road because once you've established yourself as the stylish guy at work and in life, you have to constantly dress nicely. If I were to just throw on a pair of ill-fitting pants and an ugly wrinkled shirt, people would assume there was something wrong with me or my marriage... Bradford
So true. (Except for the marriage part; I am terminally unattached...) However, these are two crosses I am happy to bear for the moment.
Eh, not really. I dress sporadically, from RLPL cashmere sweaters, RLPL pleated wool pants, and To Boot New York shoes one day to GAP jeans, GAP tee and Puma Speed cats another. That way, no one knows what to expect, but they you know that I can dress well when needed. Jon.

 

[linux_pro]

I have always dressed for myself, and am lucky that both my fiance/girlfriend and my employers appreciate my personal dress code. For work, I dress down - very conservative. Mainly navy or charcoal SB suits, black or brown wingtips, repp tie, white shirt, etc.

Over the weekends, I alternate between casual (dress shirt under cashmere sweater, slacks, nice shoes) and very dandy (3-piece chalkstripe with colored/black bowler), depending on the situation. I like to dine out, so my dress code will also alternate depending on the venue (Traditional for fine steak houses like Canlis, very dandy for those wonderful ethiopian nights or the southern cuisine, etc).

I also put on live music shows, and like to attend the shows to see what kind of draw my bands are getting, etc. I go very dandy for this - once again, the 3-piece suits, generally bold chalkstripes with wild ties and wingtips, and a colored bowler. If I could dress however I wanted any day, this is how I would dress. Unfortunately, it is often seen as a little too bold for appropriate business attire. But it's a hit with my friends and at the clubs. I wear this confidently, so that helps too.

 

[gorgekko]

I have to say that I really only dress for myself. Clothes may not be who you are but they reflect who you are. If I changed styles every time someone thought I needed a makeover then it would simply be a reflection of what they wanted me to be. I like my suits and sport coats. If I wanted to dress "fashionably" or "fashion forward", I would do it...but I don't want to.

I was very interested in a young lady some months ago but she kept telling me I needed to revise my wardrobe. It turned out I was dressing too upscale a bit conservative for her so she opined that it was time I made a change.

I'm comfortable with who I am. I certainly won't be changed by someone when we haven't even entered 'couple' status.

 

[linux_pro]

I have to say that I really only dress for myself. Clothes may not be who you are but they reflect who you are. If I changed styles every time someone thought I needed a makeover then it would simply be a reflection of what they wanted me to be. I like my suits and sport coats. If I wanted to dress "fashionably" or "fashion forward", I would do it...but I don't want to.

I was very interested in a young lady some months ago but she kept telling me I needed to revise my wardrobe. It turned out I was dressing too upscale a bit conservative for her so she opined that it was time I made a change.

I'm comfortable with who I am. I certainly won't be changed by someone when we haven't even entered 'couple' status.

Yikes. I hated that when I was dating. I never tell people how to live their lives, or try to change their styles or philosophies or anything else. The people who are always trying to change other people, they'll never be happy. I once dated a girl who, on the third date, started telling me I needed to attend church more often (I am an atheist). That was the end of that. Dated another girl who said I worked too much. Goodbye. Dated another who kept "correcting" my opinions during political debates with friends. Sayonara. My current girlfriend tries to "correct" me at times, but she's so pretty, goddamit, now I'm stuck. Heh heh heh. But thank god she accepts my personal style and knows how to laugh about life with me.

 

[gorgekko]

If it was women it would be problem enough but I even have family members telling me lighten up. My sister says I dress up too much and my parents used to roll their eyes every time I came home with a package. Odd considering they are from an era where it was normal for a man to wear a sport coat or suit every day. Heck, my father was reportedly a clotheshorse himself back in the day. Best dressed man in the Balkans from what he tells me

Hard to believe he advised me to go more casual then a humble sport coat.

 

[Giona Granata]

For myself. And for other - elegant - men.

 

[Heron]

Very interesting reading the posts in this thread.

I must say that I became quite discouraged by the way I was dressing and what it was doing to my self-image which was the reason for seeking out a forum of this nature as well as the Ask Andy site.

There was nothing quite so depressing as looking down at oneself and being dismayed to see wrinkled, horrible clothes hanging there.

Was is a mid-life thing - perhaps. I did laser on the eyes, dramatically changed the hair style (and colour BTW), lost 30 lbs. and after a frantic time reading all the wonderful advice here and shopping like crazy on eBay for the past 3 months plus buying from a few forum members TODAY (literally) is the first day of the rest of my life from a sartorial perspective (heck I didn't even know that word 4 months ago). Today I shall finally venture forth in my Canali jacket, Zanella cashmere pants, Zegna shirt, RLPL tie and AE shoes (just wish I had a pocket square but I'll work up to that one) - all but the tie are new, acquired as a result of the opinions and advice expressed here on the Style Forum. Could some of the pieces be nicer, sure they could, but if that weren't the case what the heck would I do tomorrow?

I can now state that I am dressing for myself.

Thanks Style Forum and all those that contribute/participate.

 

[uppercase]

Wow, so many dressing for themselves. Really?

It will take a brave man now to wear an ascot; you don't want to be perceived as an anachronism, do you?

And after all, your self-selected peer group here in SF, has given the thumbs down to ascots.

So even though you are damn handsome and dashing in your ascot, and Cary has nothing on you, it stays in your bureau drawer. RIP.

You're not really going to wear it, are you, without the imprimatur of your circle? And that walking stick you were thinking about? Forget it.

And wouldn't it be smarter, for the sake of preservation of the species, to don your most attractive plummage in terms of what the opposite sex finds attractive rather than what you think, you poor misguided fop. Wouldn't you give up your fedora for love? Put it back on once your married.

That is to say, until you're happily and safely married forever to a girl who probably comes from the same socio-economic, religious, ethnic, educational background as you. Maybe she's just like you. Grand. Put the fedora back on, settle comfortably into a secure relationship and slowly reveal who you really are. Then maybe you can step out a little, sartorially. A little. Because who cares what anyone thinks. I'm not in the market. But now....don't spend too much and jeez, how can you spend more on clothes than a woman. @#$% And please enough with that pouchette business. Grow up. You're a married man. You're not Fred Astaire, for God's sake. Dancing in the rain. It would take a brave man to insist on dressing for himself if SHE doesn't approve. Me thinks.

And for God's sake, man, throw out those Gucci G things, and Chanel C things, and whatever else you once thought would bring you love, acceptance, and salvation. How nouveau and arriviste. And don't tell anybody you ever had them. What were you thinking. NOBODY buys into those brands here. Here, we have our own brands, our own values, our own heritage, thank you very much. Here, our tribe dispenses views on the gentlemanly arts, when to wear brown shoes with navy trousers, when we can and cannot wear black suits, linen in the summer, tweed in the Autumn....

All good advice it is, dosed out with comradely good humor, great bonhomie, hail fellow well met, hrumph...hrumph... to be sure, but can you still really say "I dress for myself"?

I for one, ofcourse, can.

And by the way, how do you like my suit?

 

[joseanes]

Just out of curiosity: where does the money for buying clothes come from? A joint account? Some seem a little worried about their spouse's "interest" in how much money is spent on these purchases, which makes me wonder about how it is handled within the household's budget.

I like this comment. If people keep separate accounts (or at least separate play/personal money accounts), the wife will never have any issue regarding husband's clothing spending habits.

I am a strong believer that joint accounts (exclusively) is a fast way of killing a marriage.

 

[LA Guy]

All good advice it is, dosed out with comradely good humor, great bonhomie, hail fellow well met, hrumph...hrumph... to be sure, but can you still really say "I dress for myself"?

Let me correct myself. I dress for myself *and* would prefer if everyone else dressed for me as well, i.e. I would be the SF wardrobe director and central casting, all in one. And hell would break loose if the director, (j.?) told me he had a vision different from my own. And if a mere "actor" like Manton told me he felt his character just "wouldn't dress that way - it's not him", well then, I would tell him that no matter how many books he wrote or read, he was surely mistaken.

 

[jester]

Myself. I work in a large but casual office; I'm the only one in the entire company who wears a suit. My wife appreciates my dress, but doesn't try to match.

Indeed, yesterday we went to an early-morning meeting at our daughter's school. I wore a bespoke suit and shirt, and foppish bow tie, and my wife wore a pair of brown corduroys and a white shirt; our 5-year-old daughter looked at her and said, "You're all dressed up. Are you going to a wedding?"

 

[leroy]

Definitely for myself. Once gave a shot wearing an ascot for a wedding. Know that I looked very different from the rest of the men who attended. But liked the overall attire that I wore an ascot again for another wedding occasion. It is an interesting part of men's fashion that I felt was worth trying out for myself.