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Where Have the Good Men Gone

Discussion in 'Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel' started by Kyoung05, Feb 23, 2011.

  1. mkarim

    mkarim Senior member

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    Can we just move to Croatia, dude? Sort of help to absolve us from this whole silly courtship thing--expedite the process, at the least.

    ...or Ukraine or Russia or any Eastern European country [​IMG]
     
  2. texas_jack

    texas_jack Senior member

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    Exactly. This, to my mind, is a change for the better.

    Mixed I would say. An unfortunate side effect is all the slacker dudes we have now who's main ambition is playing video games and smoking weed all day. Those people are bad for society in the long run.
     
  3. Desi

    Desi Senior member

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    As a grown man, should I care how WoW is played?
    Well I would hope people had the general respect to speak knowledgeably on topics. Saying I need to up my score is no better than an episode of Numb3r's talking about firewalling some hacker by using Visual Basic. Is that a little too much to ask? I am enjoying the topic but just had to point out something that maybe shows your disconnect with the group the article is referring too. Obviously if you can not understand them or wish not then nothing is gained. edit:
    Hm, it could be something more simpler like the absence of competition. Hard to explain and is much more evident in school settings when kids are dissuaded to be judged winners or losers. Since the age of these males the article mainly refers to are just out of college/College town atmosphere they still have some of that earlier school character building ingrained in them. Until they are put in the same arena with their seniors and have to adjust. Obviously this is all just hypothetical guesswork but is always mentioned when parents talk about kids lacking backbone or something similar.
     
  4. christinedaae

    christinedaae Senior member

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    Well I would hope people had the general respect to speak knowledgeably on topics. Saying I need to up my score is no better than an episode of Numb3r's talking about firewalling some hacker by using Visual Basic. Is that a little too much to ask?

    I am enjoying the topic but just had to point out something that maybe shows your disconnect with the group the article is referring too. Obviously if you can not understand them or wish not then nothing is gained.

    edit: Hm, it could be something more simpler like the absence of competition. Hard to explain and is much more evident in school settings when kids are dissuaded to be judged winners or losers. Since the age of these males the article mainly refers to are just out of college/College town atmosphere they still have some of that earlier school character building ingrained in them. Until they are put in the same arena with their seniors and have to adjust. Obviously this is all just hypothetical guesswork but is always mentioned when parents talk about kids lacking backbone or something similar.

    you bring up a good point. competition is a very good thing. I am not going to sit here and say I was an all star athlete as a kid, i was not. I mean I was athletic, and i actually was a pretty good baseball player, actually a very good baseball player, but i gave it up to play basketball which while I was okay in, i wasn't anywhere near as good. I've played sports my entire life. My two best friends, like blood brothers, one happened to be one of the best shooting guards in the state, and the other was an all metro point guard. i was his backup. i got used to being the third wheel throughout school. I was a solid third wheel, but a third wheel. I had to go to other schools to get the women i really wanted, becuase they got the pick of the litter. i got tired of it, as an adult, i wanted to be the pack leader which is i suppose, no actually i KNOW in a very simplistic form where my drive to be successful came from.

    on a side note, it's funny how unfriendly people become when you aren't anyone's punching bag any longer. I hated it as a kid, my best friend was 6'4, 170 and could dunk with 2 hands in the 9th grade, just physically gifted. I am glad today I was not blessed with that type of athletic ability, I would not have pushed myself as hard as an adult.

    The problem is, alot of kids, that don't grow up in sports, that don't taste defeat, don't taste stuff like that, you don't get a dose of that, utnil you are grown. everyone pats you on the back and gives you white 6th place ribbons for effort, everyone is a winner. they curve grade scales to make everyone feel good. there are real winners and losers in life. I was determined an an adult to be a fucking winner, women had very little to do with it, i just got knew i could not live the rest of my life, being like that.
     
  5. pstoller

    pstoller Senior member

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    Well I would hope people had the general respect to speak knowledgeably on topics. Saying I need to up my score is no better than an episode of Numb3r's talking about firewalling some hacker by using Visual Basic. Is that a little too much to ask?
    No, I suppose not. Lord knows I've been offended, however mildly, at all the "hacking" in popular films and TV shows that bears no relationship to how hackers or computers actually work. However, my real point should be abundantly clear even if I flubbed the finer points of how one measures one's advancement in WoW.

    Do you really believe that one cannot understand young men without knowing the specific details of one game that many of them play? Because, if that were true, then it would be a pretty sad statement about today's youth.

    I'm not a parent, but I have some idea of what school is like for my friends' children, and they don't seem to lack for competition. If anything, the competition for grades to get into a good college seems more intense than it was when I was in school.
     
  6. pstoller

    pstoller Senior member

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    Mixed I would say. An unfortunate side effect is all the slacker dudes we have now who's main ambition is playing video games and smoking weed all day. Those people are bad for society in the long run.
    Explain how the loss of "the assumption that as a man you're going to rule the world" and "(inflated) confidence" leads to boys becoming "slacker dudes." Do you believe these "slackers" would have become great leaders of men if only they'd had the world handed to them on a silver platter? I certainly don't.
     
  7. christinedaae

    christinedaae Senior member

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    Well said[​IMG]

    - marc jacobs


    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/0..._n_833988.html

    One person does drugs, blames his parents, becomes a street bum. Antoher person does drugs, becomes one of the best known designers in the world.
     
  8. texas_jack

    texas_jack Senior member

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    Explain how the loss of "the assumption that as a man you're going to rule the world" and "(inflated) confidence" leads to boys becoming "slacker dudes." Do you believe these "slackers" would have become great leaders of men if only they'd had the world handed to them on a silver platter? I certainly don't.

    When it was assumed that men had to "take care" of a woman men had a reason to work harder. That's been lost. They probably wouldn't be president but they wouldn't be sitting on the couch either.
     
  9. pstoller

    pstoller Senior member

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    Explain how the loss of "the assumption that as a man you're going to rule the world" and "(inflated) confidence" leads to boys becoming "slacker dudes."
    When it was assumed that men had to "take care" of a woman men had a reason to work harder. That's been lost. They probably wouldn't be president but they wouldn't be sitting on the couch either.

    Apparently, many women still think men ought to take care of them, even if they earn as much as"”or more than"”the men they date. In other words, men are still competing financially, just now with women as well as men. So, it seems to me that men should be working harder than ever. I guess they don't all feel that way, but I think those that don't are fools. If they believe they can afford to sit on the couch, they're dreaming.
     
  10. mkarim

    mkarim Senior member

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    Apparently, many women still think men ought to take care of them, even if they earn as much as—or more than—the men they date.
    +1. Many women want it both ways - for them to be treated equally when it suits them and have men take care of them when it suits them. I've never had a woman successfully explain to me why this should be the case, but...

    I guess they don't all feel that way, but I think those that don't are fools. If they believe they can afford to sit on the couch, they're dreaming.
    Our entitlement society has created an entire generation of slackers (both men and women) who think society owes them without having to work for anything.
     
  11. kwilkinson

    kwilkinson Senior member

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    Our entitlement society has created an entire generation of slackers (both men and women) who think society owes them without having to work for anything.
    We don't all feel that way. I work about 80 hours a week, always have, for just above the poverty line, and I love it. My generation isn't 100% Connes.
     
  12. sofaking9000

    sofaking9000 Well-Known Member

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    Probably the smartest observation of the lot on this thread. I'm older (fortysomething) and I'll be honest, I know a couple women in my social circle I have known since we were teens that have not left high school in terms with their relationships with men.

    Do they wish they were with YOU?
     
  13. sofaking9000

    sofaking9000 Well-Known Member

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    If I had a dollar for every lame ass pointless start up idea/business model.....

    Hmm that sucks man, because when I was 16 I had an idea, I'm 18 now and because I didn't have the money or the legal expertise, the id has already been developed (digitalized IDs).

    There are current developments where you have a little magnetic strip on your phone and it contains bank info/credit card info.

    My plan was to take this further and store everything on it (license/passport/social security).
    Fuck this shit economy!!!!

    I'm just gonna go to college and get a degree in money-ology [​IMG]
     
  14. intent

    intent Senior member

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    Hmm that sucks man, because when I was 16 I had an idea, I'm 18 now and because I didn't have the money or the legal expertise, the id has already been developed (digitalized IDs).

    There are current developments where you have a little magnetic strip on your phone and it contains bank info/credit card info.

    My plan was to take this further and store everything on it (license/passport/social security).
    Fuck this shit economy!!!!

    I'm just gonna go to college and get a degree in money-ology [​IMG]

    2 points about your idea: 1. It was invented a lot longer than 2 years ago. 2. They've floated this idea. People are too paranoid to want it.
     
  15. sofaking9000

    sofaking9000 Well-Known Member

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    2 points about your idea:

    1. It was invented a lot longer than 2 years ago.

    2. They've floated this idea. People are too paranoid to want it.


    Hmm, I do not know much about it but you can not deny that more can be done, the opportunity is there.
     
  16. intent

    intent Senior member

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    Hmm, I do not know much about it but you can not deny that more can be done, the opportunity is there.
    thanks for the blanket statement, high school.
     
  17. pstoller

    pstoller Senior member

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    Many women want it both ways - for them to be treated equally when it suits them and have men take care of them when it suits them. I've never had a woman successfully explain to me why this should be the case, but...

    I don't know that it should be the case, but I think there are understandable reasons why it is.

    First, although American women have made strides in the workplace, their median income is still $.78 for a man's $1. Hence, a woman might reasonably consider her man to be underperforming if he's not making @20% more than she is. Second, if a woman wants the choice of whether to work in business or be a stay-at-home mother, the latter is only an option if the man is a very good provider. (Yes, a man could be a stay-at-home-father instead, but the first item above is part of why this is relatively rare.)

    Third, women are commodified (by men and themselves) according to standards of attractiveness"”in terms of physical beauty and ability to conceive and bear children"”that are very youth-oriented; that is, their value goes down over time. Men, by contrast, are commodified primarily according to their earning power or potential; typically, this means their value goes up over time.

    In choosing a mate, a woman naturally looks to form a partnership in which she can be more competitive in life. A man who treats a women a certain way is demonstrating his ability"”financial and emotional"”to be a good long-term provider for her and any future offspring; a woman looking for a serious relationship is likely to gauge a man according to that ability.

    Of course, individual men, women, and relationships are more complicated than that. Basically, though, everyone"”male or female"”wants to be treated in whatever way will be most advantageous to them at any given time, according to how they see the big picture. On the surface, this can appear inconsistent; underneath, it's anything but.

    Your mileage, of course, may vary.
     
  18. mm84321

    mm84321 Senior member

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    ^ Eloquently put, pstoller.
     
  19. Stazy

    Stazy Senior member

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  20. Neo_Version 7

    Neo_Version 7 Senior member

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    Stazy, EAson, and I are the only good men left in this forum.
     

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