Where are the Eligible Bachelors?: A Game Theory take

[justsayno]

A fluffy take on dating and relationship between the sexes: Article "Where have all the most appealing men gone? Married young, most of them—and sometimes to women whose most salient characteristic was not their beauty, or passion, or intellect, but their decisiveness." Any thoughts? I immediately thought of John Nash's blonde problem and the pareto solution.

 

[modsquad]

This theory would be fine except for one thing: the proposition that there is a disporportionately large pool of single women out there who are on the whole more attractive than women who have already gotten married (the string bidders in the articles terms) is a complete crock. I'm single and way past the age when most men have tried marriage and I am here to tell you that the pickings are slim. Exactly as slim as you would expect as the good ones are picked off and age takes its toll on the ones who are left.

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by YOURNOBODYdotCOM

there's no such thing as an eligible bachelor. If you've got money and single you're probably knee deep in tail from all the clubs and happy hours you hit with your friends. If you're rich and not knee deep in girls you must be an Ibanker with 100 hr workweek or just a loser

I like how you think, please elaborate so I can be blinded by your wisdom.

 

[rdawson808]

I have game theory coming out ****** and I just get so annoyed with these sorts of articles.

I'll tell you why there are so few eligible bachelors--because too many women have become just like men: not accepting of any flaws in their potential dates; finding one model and wanting only that; not being willing to compromise and learn about someone different from yourself.

Remember that whole "He's just not that into you" phenon? It was bullshit. He was into you. You weren't willing to meet him half way. Those other guys are into you, but they're not perfect enough for you.

And by the way, honey, you're not so perfect yourself...which brings us to Modsquad's comments. I used to be in that boat too. 30+ and single. I thank my lucky stars that I eventually found someone who is both a great catch and who things I am.

b

 

[Beta]

actually...i read "hes not that into you" and realized that i just wasn't "that into" the chick i was seeing...broke it off and saved us both some time!

 

[justsayno]

sounds like a rant

but i agree with it!

Originally Posted by rdawson808

Remember that whole "He's just not that into you" phenon? It was bullshit. He was into you. You weren't willing to meet him half way. Those other guys are into you, but they're not perfect enough for you.

 

[rdawson808]

Originally Posted by justsayno

sounds like a rant

but i agree with it!

Yeah, a little bit. In my single days I met far too many women who seemed to want perfection. And it wasn't just the women I was after, but friends too who would tell me about the guys they dated or just about men in general.

b

 

[JesseJB]

Where are all these available women? I cant remember the last time I met a decent, attractive woman that was single.

But then again I am in Seattle.

Dear desperate women: move here. Youll have your pick.

 

[Syl]

I have a good female friend who's 33yrs old. I've known her for 6yrs now and unfortunately she does fit the description of the original article. She is very attractive, smart, ambitious etc but she has a "list" of requirements a man must meet before she'll even consider him as a potential long-term option. This list is, in my opinion, unachievable for almost all men out there so yes, she is limiting her choices significantly. Worse yet, she does often lament the lack of "available" men.

But then again, there's no arguing that men who are most in demand most certainly do not settle either, so can't say it's a female thing, it's just a human thing.

 

[Roikins]

Women actually prefer men who aren't "perfect," because it gives them something to ***** about when they're gabbing with their friends. A perfect man can't be complained about.

 

[JesseJB]

Originally Posted by Roikins

Women actually prefer men who aren't "perfect," because it gives them something to ***** about when they're gabbing with their friends. A perfect man can't be complained about.


AMEN.


Women do not like dateable men. They are intimidated by them and afraid that he will see through their BS.

Just like they wont go for you if she knows you arent impressed by her Coach bag!

 

[Milhouse]

I had a woman that worked for me that had many of those firm requirements for men. One of her requirements was that "he" must be at least 6 feet tall. I explained to her that the average height for men is lower than that, and thus the number of men that met her criteria was very small. Especially when you start factoring in other criteria.

Another woman I know was raving about some book she read that talked about how she "deserved" a good man. I countered that no one "deserves" anything, but rather if you want something, you have to work for it, and quite often work very hard. She didn't seem to like that.

I think a lot of people (not just women) set themselves up to fail. I tend to think my hypothesis is confirmed by the number of "get rich quick" and "self help" packages available for sale that make someone incredibly rich. People buy up stuff that tells them what they want to hear, rather than what they need to hear.

 

[Dewey]

I don't know if the application of "game theory" is all there or even necessary, but I think the basic explanation of the marriage dynamic in the US is correct: men choose to initiate courtship, and women choose to convert this to marriage. In other words, the woman picks her husband, but her choices are limited to the group of men who express interest.

Older men hit on younger women all the time, and younger women are often happy with older men. So the pool is skewed as the article describes. Women who are interested in marriage pick the most desirable husband prospects of their own age & older. This creates disproportionately large groups of unmarried people: younger men, who tend to run around together in immature packs, commiserating on their inability to attract women & committing crimes, and older women, who look at the group of unmarried men asking to trade dinners for casual sex, and see no one they want to marry.

Women have this whole situation in the palm of their hand when they are young. Men have the advantage when they are older.