What's the First Thing You Did When You Got Out of Jail?

[NORE]

Discuss.

 

[NORE]

Fine. I'll start.

This one time me and a guy I was locked up with got sprung at the same time. Upon breathing in the fresh air his first exhalation included, "yo, I'm about to go pick up a couple of bricks. You in?".

I'm thinking, this dude seriously doesn't like freedom. So we part ways and my first inclination is to get a good shower after taking a proper dump, changing and burning the clothes with which I was clad for the horrendous past few days. (Was it weeks? Months? Oh well) Then dunking something in someone's donut.

I bump into him randomly sometime later in Harlem. We briefly started speaking when he caught sight of a plump chica, and interrupting our meaningless banter he hollered at teh fattie; "Yo! Gordie. Never change. Stay just like that. You all that, ma. Come here."

Shocked I left and wrote him off to the chronically institutionalized.

What's your story?

 

[grundletaint]

dude. i'm that dude, man. you just fucked yourself.

 

[NORE]

What color and brand sweater did I give you when the CO came to get me?

 

[grundletaint]

You gave me your pudding and a **

 

[mordecai]

[VIDEO][/VIDEO]

 

[NORE]



You gave me your pudding and a **

Wrong. Sorry. Next contestant please.

 

[Trompe le Monde]

shower, and a steak dinner

 

[Texasmade]

After I got bonded out by my friends, they took me to eat. After that I got my car drove home, took a dump, shower, then a nap.

For some reason when you're in jail everyone says "bonded out" but everyone outside of jail says "bailed out".

 

[NORE]

Depends on the crime and your sheet, if the judge grants you bond you can get sprung with just 10% of your bail. Some dudes only get a cash bail which means you have to pay all of it if you want to get sprung. Last time I got pinched I got a cash bail

 

[yywwyy]

******* criminals.

 

[Harold falcon]

I always try to schedule jail visits for late in the day so that immediately afterwards I don't have to go to the office but instead can start drinking.

 

[NORE]

Why not start drinking on the way to jail?

 

[Harold falcon]



Why not start drinking on the way to jail?

They might not let me in if I was intoxicated.

 

[NORE]

They would if you were also driving