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What's the First Thing You Did When You Got Out of Jail?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by NORE, Mar 1, 2012.

  1. NORE

    NORE Distinguished Member

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  2. NORE

    NORE Distinguished Member

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    Fine. I'll start.

    This one time me and a guy I was locked up with got sprung at the same time. Upon breathing in the fresh air his first exhalation included, "yo, I'm about to go pick up a couple of bricks. You in?".

    I'm thinking, this dude seriously doesn't like freedom. So we part ways and my first inclination is to get a good shower after taking a proper dump, changing and burning the clothes with which I was clad for the horrendous past few days. (Was it weeks? Months? Oh well) Then dunking something in someone's donut.

    I bump into him randomly sometime later in Harlem. We briefly started speaking when he caught sight of a plump chica, and interrupting our meaningless banter he hollered at teh fattie; "Yo! Gordie. Never change. Stay just like that. You all that, ma. Come here."

    Shocked I left and wrote him off to the chronically institutionalized.

    What's your story?
     


  3. grundletaint

    grundletaint Distinguished Member

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    dude. i'm that dude, man. you just fucked yourself.
     


  4. NORE

    NORE Distinguished Member

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    What color and brand sweater did I give you when the CO came to get me?
     


  5. grundletaint

    grundletaint Distinguished Member

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    You gave me your pudding and a BJ
     


  6. mordecai

    mordecai Immoderator

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  7. NORE

    NORE Distinguished Member

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    Wrong. Sorry. Next contestant please.
     


  8. Trompe le Monde

    Trompe le Monde Distinguished Member

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    shower, and a steak dinner
     


  9. Texasmade

    Texasmade Distinguished Member

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    After I got bonded out by my friends, they took me to eat. After that I got my car drove home, took a dump, shower, then a nap.

    For some reason when you're in jail everyone says "bonded out" but everyone outside of jail says "bailed out".
     


  10. NORE

    NORE Distinguished Member

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    Depends on the crime and your sheet, if the judge grants you bond you can get sprung with just 10% of your bail. Some dudes only get a cash bail which means you have to pay all of it if you want to get sprung. Last time I got pinched I got a cash bail :(
     
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2012


  11. yywwyy

    yywwyy Distinguished Member

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    Fucking criminals.
     


  12. Harold falcon

    Harold falcon Stylish Dinosaur

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    I always try to schedule jail visits for late in the day so that immediately afterwards I don't have to go to the office but instead can start drinking.
     


  13. NORE

    NORE Distinguished Member

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    Why not start drinking on the way to jail?
     


  14. Harold falcon

    Harold falcon Stylish Dinosaur

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    They might not let me in if I was intoxicated.
     


  15. NORE

    NORE Distinguished Member

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