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What's the First Thing You Did When You Got Out of Jail?

NORE

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Fine. I'll start.

This one time me and a guy I was locked up with got sprung at the same time. Upon breathing in the fresh air his first exhalation included, "yo, I'm about to go pick up a couple of bricks. You in?".

I'm thinking, this dude seriously doesn't like freedom. So we part ways and my first inclination is to get a good shower after taking a proper dump, changing and burning the clothes with which I was clad for the horrendous past few days. (Was it weeks? Months? Oh well) Then dunking something in someone's donut.

I bump into him randomly sometime later in Harlem. We briefly started speaking when he caught sight of a plump chica, and interrupting our meaningless banter he hollered at teh fattie; "Yo! Gordie. Never change. Stay just like that. You all that, ma. Come here."

Shocked I left and wrote him off to the chronically institutionalized.

What's your story?
 

grundletaint

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dude. i'm that dude, man. you just fucked yourself.
 

NORE

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What color and brand sweater did I give you when the CO came to get me?
 

Texasmade

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After I got bonded out by my friends, they took me to eat. After that I got my car drove home, took a dump, shower, then a nap.

For some reason when you're in jail everyone says "bonded out" but everyone outside of jail says "bailed out".
 

NORE

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Depends on the crime and your sheet, if the judge grants you bond you can get sprung with just 10% of your bail. Some dudes only get a cash bail which means you have to pay all of it if you want to get sprung. Last time I got pinched I got a cash bail :(
 
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Harold falcon

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I always try to schedule jail visits for late in the day so that immediately afterwards I don't have to go to the office but instead can start drinking.
 

NORE

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Why not start drinking on the way to jail?
 

Harold falcon

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NORE

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They would if you were also driving ;)
 

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