Discussion in 'General Chat' started by patrickBOOTH, Jul 11, 2011.
He is probably masturbating.
I know exactly this kind of person. He rubs his ass like he is sanding a table. I do use a lot of toilet paper though. I want to be the perfect asshole.
I am constantly amazed by how quickly women can drop trou do business and come out of the bathroom. Whenever I have to take a dump in a public place there are so many "layers" that I have to get through before even sitting. There is usually some dick banging on the door before my ass hits the seat. I mean, I have to take off my jacket, a million trouser buttons, move suspenders aside, underwear down, flip tie over the shoulder. It takes time. It doesn't help that my poops are always like mud and require 300 wipes.
You know how they stamp patterns and such into paper towels? I think they should stamp herringbone patterns onto toilet paper. I would love to wipe my ass with some herringbone.
yesterday at work we had a cinco de mayo celebration thing. Vats of alcohol were consumed, and somebody even purchased a bunch of stick-on Mexican "inspired" mustaches that were donned by many. Somebody (me) even stuck one to the inside of a urinal and it has been the talk of the floor ever since.
Should eat better.
I've come to realize that this fucking guy doesn't even bother lifting the toilet seat up when he pisses! So not only can he not aim his stream well, but he is too fucking lazy and inconsiderate to lift the seat up to piss despite his poor aim!
I lay two pieces of paper towel from the dispenser criss cross near the front of the seat so it covers my ass and I can properly lay my schlong across it so it's not dipped inside the toilet bowl touching what could potentially be someone elses dick germs.
Well, people who don't have big donkey dicks don't have this problem. Being that this is a "style" forum I would suspect that is the majority of us.
Do you not believe in bathroom karma? If you pull pranks like this, some day your evil will be repaid by the bathroom gods. ...and when dealing with bathrooms, ketchup probably won't be the substance you get splattered with.
I do not. I go big or I go home.
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