I am planning on attending the San Francisco Fashion week opening party on Sept 24 (go here for invitation, its free http://www.fashiontechsf.org/events/58505502/) with the hopes that large gay population in the industry, and in San Francisco in particular, will improve the chances of an aging guy smitten with poor looks will find a beautiful woman for a lasting committed relationship for at least 24 hours. I expect this to be a rather fashion forward event and the question is, what to wear, not to blend in, but rather to be “the guy”? The social stuff I’m not too concerned with. I merely introduce myself as a known personality on Styleforum as if that, by itself, says it all. If I encounter representatives from Brioni, Kiton, Hermes, or Loro Piana I will let them know that I can try to get them hooked in as an affiliate member to styleforum, but even my position can only do so much. If the industry is seeing a drop in sales I’ll point out it is because Man of Lint is getting everyone to stop making purchases until 2015, but a bribe may do the trick. I’ll look down on anyone who has never heard of SpooPoker. I will point out that New York Ranger is changing the hearts and minds of the next generation and his urban style should not be ignored, even though the discretionary income of all of his students needs to go to my social security. I’ll point out that to the best of my knowledge, men’s attitudes towards capes has never been discussed. I will tell voluptuous women that men have become so concerned that women being preyed upon by plastic surgeons, that there is a major movement on the East Coast called “Just say no to big breasted women”, and that sex for them will probably simply be a memory. To small breasted women, I will point out that the prevalence of cross-dressers has reached epic proportions and there is a rapidly growing movement in LA called “Just say no to small breasted women”, and that sex for them will probably simply be a memory. Since all women are concerned about their breasts being too big or too small, I don’t need to worry about those in between. The question is, what to wear. I could show up and find myself in a whole room full of purple or pink jeans, so I don’t think that will do it. I may do the ascot thing because I am starting to think that no one has actually ever seen one in the real world, and any woman who is old enough to remember the millionaire from Gilligan’s Island is outside my targeted demographic. The Old Navy women’s jeans is an option because once you mention it to a girl that you’re wearing them, she can't help but to look to see how it accommodates your junk. I’ll wear my $340 Hermes boxer shorts because you don’t carry a Stradivarius in a paper bag. The Inverness cap and deerstalker are again an option, however, no one outside of my generation will have ever heard of Basil Rathbone, and it will need to be appreciated on its own merits. Wearing lapel pins for the 1936 Olympics, Zeppelins or the Manhattan Project inevitable generates as few sincere questions about if I participated, was I a passenger, and did I build it, thereby calling attention to my age. Suggestions?