What to do with a dumbass brother

[Dakota rube]

Originally Posted by nomed

You obviously do not have a ************* brother. My little brother's the same kind looser scumbag as the op's, and I'd kill him my self if it weren't for my parents. It's mostly his stupidity that pisses me off, not his criminal behavior. I mean i used to get away with that **** why can't he? An embarrassing disappointment is what he his.
Let me get this straight:
You would kill your brother?
Seriously?

Are you disappointed in him because he pulls stupid stuff? Or because he doesn't get off scott free the way you did?

You put the fun in dysfunctional.

 

[Agnacious]

Originally Posted by Aperipan

The only solution is to dis-own him. Get a good lawyer, announce this in all the local newspapers as though you've had a name change. At 23, there's no way in hell he'll turn his life around. That's just too late.

I know most people on this site are so young they can count the years on one hand when the last time they wet their bed, but 23 is barely out of childhood, he has ample time to find his way.

If the OP's parents are OK with the situation then he should just accept that. Also he should acclimate himself to the modern world so something as common place as a smoke alarm doesn't call for an armed response.

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by bawlin

Another day, another useless post by the resident StyleForum douchebag...

Still living with mommy to save up to buy a place? Please, people that set a monetary goal contrary to their happiness and then complain about the situation they're in are sad cases. He went back to his parent's place at 25, he should just accept his subservient role and shut the **** up. Did I laugh about one of your second-rate posts and hurt your little feelings? I'm sorry I don't remember it, not that it matters as you're inconsequential.

 

[Steve Smith]

Originally Posted by BDC2823

So my brothers been pissing me off. My brother recently moved back in with my parents as I did. Him because he can't afford to live on his own and can't keep a job. He's 23. Me because I am saving up to purchase my own place and have a stable career and job security with a good income. I'm 25.

Any ideas on how to handle this situation?

Yeah, get out as soon as possible, but not because of your brother's behavior. Get out because you are able of body and mind, employed and you ARE 25 DAMN YEARS OLD. You are bitching about your brother like you and he are 8 and 10. Who gives a **** about your complaints? Get your own life. The pussification of your generation amazes me.

 

[AR_Six]

I have a similar problem with my brother, as I attempt to complete law school and land a decent job, I understand what it's like to have someone who's doing nothing with their life but enjoying themselves constantly throw obstacles in your way.

 

[sho'nuff]

im sorry for your troubles with family and all and i can understand these plights we can have with siblings and between parents and what have you.

as for your brother, i think he is better to be at home with parents. im sure your parents are working on supporting him whether financially, emotionally, whatever they can do to help him out as a case like him would get into more serious problems if outside the home on his own imo. and perhaps that is what your parents believe.

but as for your situation, i advise you to leave your parents' home. not only because you cannot coexist with your family members,
but also you state you have "a stable career and job security with a good income"
you want to save up for a home? i rather not leech off of my parents just to accomplish a pure self goal. i dont know the whole story, and perhaps you are, but the only time i am moving back with my parents is if i know i am there to help them. if they need me.
dont take offense to this statement, as i say it almost everyone for plain general advice, but "be a man"

 

[Pennglock]

Originally Posted by Fuuma

Still living with mommy to save up to buy a place? Please, people that set a monetary goal contrary to their happiness and then complain about the situation they're in are sad cases. He went back to his parent's place at 25, he should just accept his subservient role and shut the **** up.

Word. I might have some sympathy for this situation if the Op were 14 years old, but for godsakes, get out of your parents' house.

 

[teddieriley]

Wow, maybe it's cultural or ethnic thing, but while I believe to the extent one can and wants to be out of his/her parents' house after 18, he/she should. But many of you make it seem absolutely crazy that (1) OP is 25 living at home and (2) he is 25 living at home AND complaining about a loser brother. I don't know what background the OP has, but I observe that it is common for many white families to raise their kids and then scoot them out the door after college because "they've done their job" and want to live and retire "in peace." In many other ethnic households, parents welcome their kids back after school, and are supportive of the idea of allowing them to save for their own place, even if it means living at home for a few years.

While someone like the OP is obviously subject to the rules of the house (which in many cases will leave you feeling like a kid again), he shouldn't necessarily be at the mercy of a loser brother. I, at least, don't see anything wrong with complaining about a loser brother who is not only good for nothing, but an emotional drain on the family. Sure a simple solution is that OP can move out, and that may very well be what it comes to, but he doesn't have any less of a right to be there nor is it shocking that he is.

 

[cheessus]

I can see why some people are ripping on the OP for living at home. Personally I can't imagine living at home unless I were homeless. My feeling is that my parents have done there job- got me through school, and paid for college, including my apartment. Now it's my turn to do my job; I took out some loans to go to law school and have a job. I don't feel like I should be my parents' responsibility anymore.

 

[BDC2823]

Went on vacation and just reread this thread. Thanks for the advice from those who gave it. Alot to think about. To those making fun for being 25 and moving back home, I can understand that. Never thought I'd have ever done that when I moved out after high school. Actually never dreamed of it. But my father made some good sense to me when we had a talk and he recommended that I moved back home to save up for a down payment. He got into real estate young and has done well and when I spoke to him about buying a house, we both realized the market wasn't right. Thankfully I didn't end up buying then as the market tanked right away. But now I'm looking. The reason I came back home was at their behest on their advice. They don't support me, give me money, etc., besides letting me stay at their place. I don't live in the middle of Arkansas so the cheapest condo in a ****** neighborhood around here is about 300k which is why of all my friends, one owns a condo, and about half live with roommates renting as I've done, and the other half are at home. So I figured that my parents advice was sound, and worth biting the bullet for awhile to buy a house soon.

 

[Diddy]

Originally Posted by KenN

Didn't someone try to shoot him already?
+1, I say disown him it's too late to talk him out of that life style, it has to come from him.

 

[johnapril]

You are in a spot. I have brothers younger than me who have been in/are in (depending on the week) a similar spot. You are in your mid-twenties and way too close to your family. You basically have to go through a process where you differentiate yourself from your family. One other thing: the gun doesn't help. In short: sell the gun, move out, distance yourself from conversations about your brother, only go home for the holidays, and not all the time.

 

[dfagdfsh]

This thread is my future 10 years from now

GOOD LUCK OP

 

[Fuuma]

Originally Posted by johnapril

You are in a spot. I have brothers younger than me who have been in/are in (depending on the week) a similar spot. You are in your mid-twenties and way too close to your family. You basically have to go through a process where you differentiate yourself from your family. One other thing: the gun doesn't help. In short: sell the gun, move out, distance yourself from conversations about your brother, only go home for the holidays, and not all the time.
+1, honestly. Stop thinking about down payment and get your own (rented) roof over your head. You might not realize it now but renting for a few more years (if you ever end up buying or staying in the area, people change) doesn't make you miserable but living with your parents does. Going back to your parents at 25 is for when something bad happened, it didn't so GTFO. BTW isn't the GEEK over 25?

 

[globetrotter]

Originally Posted by johnapril

You are in a spot. I have brothers younger than me who have been in/are in (depending on the week) a similar spot. You are in your mid-twenties and way too close to your family. You basically have to go through a process where you differentiate yourself from your family. One other thing: the gun doesn't help. In short: sell the gun, move out, distance yourself from conversations about your brother, only go home for the holidays, and not all the time.

+1 across the board