# 63 Back to School (1986) "Violent ground acquisition games such as football are in fact a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war." So says Derek Lutz, the spiky-haired Marxist played by Robert Downey, Jr. Don DeLillo had already mined the concept with such poetic humor and grace in his 1972 novel End Zone, but this -- this was my first taste of it. It was funny. It was terrifying. And I still love the movie just for that. Elsewhere, Rodney Dangerfield plays Thorton Mellon, a dude who's pretty much like Rodney Dangerfield in every capacity except one: he actually *does* get some respect. Mostly on account of his wealth. One day, he decides to enroll in his son's college. Hilarity ensues. And that's pretty much it. Rock solid 80s movie with a bit of everything: Downey, Jr., the guy from Christine, a stuffy British guy, a smattering of titties, a vacant love interest (defining characteristic: "the tightest ass"), uhm...Sam Kinnison, and the consummate dick boyfriend, of course, Billy Zabka from The Karate Kid. Early me: A+. Current me: A.