What is with the colon being so inefficient?

[FidelCashflow]

I thought this was a thread about grammar

 

[patrickBOOTH]

Got em'!

 

[patrickBOOTH]

My girlfriend had to work late last night so I was left to massage my colon myself.

 

[patrickBOOTH]

Wow, that line reminded me of a really messed up spoof of the first line to Mrs. Dalloway.

 

[Kyle328is]

Well you could be like my coworker. Get colon cancer (or was it rectal cancer? No matter), have them eliminate the colon completely by removing three inches of intesting and then re-route the remaining intesting to exit out of a stoma on your abdomen. Then wear a colostomy bag.

Believe me, there is nothing inefficient about his setup. You never have to stop what you're doing to poop (you don't even have to make a concious effort!), and you can impress your friends by always having the smelliest dookie.

 

[patrickBOOTH]



Well you could be like my coworker. Get colon cancer (or was it rectal cancer? No matter), have them eliminate the colon completely by removing three inches of intesting and then re-route the remaining intesting to exit out of a stoma on your abdomen. Then wear a colostomy bag. 

Believe me, there is nothing inefficient about his setup. You never have to stop what you're doing to poop (you don't even have to make a concious effort!), and you can impress your friends by always having the smelliest dookie. 

Not cool. Having a colostomy bag would cost me too much money in tailoring to hide it.

 

[patrickBOOTH]

So yeah.

 

[lasbar]



You just want the colon to absorb water, not the other **** that's in your **** - like bilirubin and other breakdown materials. The small intestine does the nutrient absorption work. Do NOT quote me on this!

Ask our own Dougie Howser Nero...

 

[patrickBOOTH]

Bump.

 

[Harold falcon]



Bump.

Did you get around to watching Demolition Man? Have you learned the wonder that is the Three Seashells? I think you would appreciate their function.

 

[patrickBOOTH]

I still haven't seen Demolition Man.

 

[Harold falcon]



I still haven't seen Demolition Man.

I'm not going to spoil it for you, pB. But you really need to learn about the three seashells.

 

[patrickBOOTH]

Hmm...

 

[Harold falcon]

patrickBOOTH, I would not lie to you.