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What is with the colon being so inefficient?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by patrickBOOTH, Nov 21, 2011.

  1. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    No, I haven't seen it.
     
  2. Harold falcon

    Harold falcon Senior member

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    It's one of the seminal works of predictive science fiction. Virtually everything in that film has come true. Electric cars, Taco Bell taking over the restaurant industry, Wesley Snipes going to jail, outlawing cigarettes and meat. Really, you should watch it immediately.
     
  3. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    I will, don't you worry, brotha, don't you worry.
     
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  4. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    thomas speaks da truth!!!111!!!!


    the international version of demolition man had taco bell replaced with pizza hut.
     
  5. bbaquiran

    bbaquiran Senior member

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    Demolition Man: Predictions
     
  6. acidboy

    acidboy Senior member

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    aside from that, they also successfully predicted that wesley snipes will serve jail time.
     
  7. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Ok, so I have been having my girlfriend give me colon massages lately. Laugh all you want, but it does wonders for digestion. I have her push from my right hipbone upwards towards my ribcage several times to clear the ileocecal valve. Then across just below my ribcage to the left side of my body and then down towards my left hip bone. I have found that it decreases bloating quite a bit. Give it a try! :slayer:
     
  8. Harold falcon

    Harold falcon Senior member

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    How did you convince her to massage your colon?
     
  9. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    She loves me. :inlove:

    and I let her out of her cage for a day.
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2011
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  10. Sunnydale

    Sunnydale Senior member

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  11. FidelCashflow

    FidelCashflow Senior member

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    I thought this was a thread about grammar :(
     
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  12. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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  13. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    My girlfriend had to work late last night so I was left to massage my colon myself.
     
  14. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Wow, that line reminded me of a really messed up spoof of the first line to Mrs. Dalloway.
     
  15. Kyle328is

    Kyle328is Member

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    Well you could be like my coworker. Get colon cancer (or was it rectal cancer? No matter), have them eliminate the colon completely by removing three inches of intesting and then re-route the remaining intesting to exit out of a stoma on your abdomen. Then wear a colostomy bag.

    Believe me, there is nothing inefficient about his setup. You never have to stop what you're doing to poop (you don't even have to make a concious effort!), and you can impress your friends by always having the smelliest dookie.
     
  16. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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    Not cool. Having a colostomy bag would cost me too much money in tailoring to hide it.
     
  17. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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  18. lasbar

    lasbar Senior member

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    Ask our own Dougie Howser Nero...
     
  19. patrickBOOTH

    patrickBOOTH Senior member Dubiously Honored

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  20. Harold falcon

    Harold falcon Senior member

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    Did you get around to watching Demolition Man? Have you learned the wonder that is the Three Seashells? I think you would appreciate their function.
     

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