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Weird Fat People On The Subway experience. What to do?

GraphicNovelty

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This story is adapted from me telling it via GChat, so forgive the style.

So today I was on the NYC subway, and there was this fat lady who was sitting next to another fat lady and then there was a .75 person space and then another dude. There was the bar divider between the two fat ladies, So it appeared to be:

[ ]_( A ) |( B )[ ] [ ]
[ ] = person
( ) fat lady
|= Divider
_ = space

So i came in and, not having a big ass and hoping fat lady A would move, attempted to sit in the space. However, fat lady A was not moving over so i just stood up and walked to the pole, and stood, annoyed but whatever. Then, another dude attempted to do the same. He got up, after trying, without saying anything.

And then another dude in a suit attempted to do the same, he looks around annoyed, we make eye contact, and shrug and I say "dude, you're the third one to try." I look away, look back and, I see him arguing with Fat lady A. I had my headphones on so i don't know what he said, but she got up and stormed out at the next stop

Then, he lookeds up at me and said "do you want the seat" and i took it becuase what was i supposed to say, no?

so now it was
[ ][ ][X]|( B )[ ][ ]
and I'm X
and i notice that fat lady B is actually pushing onto my side, meaning that the fat lady previously sitting there couldn't have possibly moved because the actual (original) situation was as such:

[ ]_( A )(| B )[ ][ ]

However, B faced no embarrassment/argument, despite her being the real problem. And i felt like a jerk for benefiting from the jerkiness from the dude sitting next to me.

What would you have done in the situation?
 

Harold falcon

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Call 311, report her for being a source of trans-fats.
 

impolyt_one

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I would've escalated the situation, used ebonics, and become a viral YouTube sensation
 

Sazerac

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Sweet Jesus on a bike, that was funny.

After taking first the N and then the 6 every day for ten years, I learned to just lean against the door on the inside track and never sit down. Ever. Nothing good will come of it.

Even if the car is empty, the homeless guy will sit next to you, the masturbating crazy will sit across from you, and the hot girl reading your very favorite book in the whole world, will sit at the other end.
 

whiteslashasian

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Originally Posted by harvey_birdman
Call 311, report her for being a source of trans-fats.

Niiiiice!


Even when I herniated a disc in my back I stood on the subway if there were no seats, or any I could reasonably fit into. Not sure why it's so hard to stand for the 20 or 30 minutes you're on the subway.

The suit sounds like a major asshole to be getting into an argument with a fat lady who was there first, he can find another subway car with a seat or stand like the rest of us. Fuck, people are such whiny bitches anymore.
 

JoelF

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Unless you're drunk, dead-ass tired or whatever, just stand up on the fkn subway.
 

highball

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Originally Posted by Sazerac
Even if the car is empty, the homeless guy will sit next to you, the masturbating crazy will sit across from you, and the hot girl reading your very favorite book in the whole world, will sit at the other end.

Hahaha this is so true. I prefer to stand on the subway anyway unless i am:
A) extremely and uncommonly tired/drunk
B) on my way to a client carrying a computer, power supply, and 3 months worth of documents in my briefcase
The whole 2 people taking up 3-4 persons worth of space thing does bother me though since it seems to always happen on the rare occasion that I want to sit.
 

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