Wedding registries

[shoreman1782]

The gf and I are in the process of registering for our wedding. Part of me thinks the whole thing is kind of off-putting, and part of me thinks awesome free stuff. Right now we're focusing on having a wide range of gifts on there, so people can get us whatever they think is appropriate. I'm leaving the china and linens to her, but I'm having a lot of fun picking out knife sets etc.

Any thoughts on registering in general, or advice on registering? E.g, number/types of places to register, things you registered for that you regret, registry items others have had that kind of offended you, etc.).

 

[Dewey]

don't hesitate to register.

the wedding is a ceremony where all your friends and family assemble and make a promise to support your marriage. them helping the two of you to set up house is part of the deal. they get good free food, live music, dancing, an excuse to wear their most fun and best clothing, free babysitting, and free drinks. and some of them get gifts. it's a good deal for wedding guests even if they drop $100 on an item from your registry.

i got married 12 years ago, and the only things from my registry that i remember getting and still use are: (1) mongo down comforter, (2) crystal wine glasses, which have gotten a ton of use every week of our marriage, (3) china, which we get out and enjoy maybe ten times a year and def. appreciate having, and (4) cookware.

in the cookware department, we got a huge non-stick set, which i regret. i would go for as much le creuset, all-clad, or mauviel as you get. you will have these things forever and to some extent, probably, the health of your marriage depends on the two of you making meals for yourself in your own kitchen, so don't feel bad at all asking people to bring something for the new house. you guys deserve and need it.

EDIT: i would not ask for video games unless that is something you and your wife plan on doing together. you don't register for ties and shoes either. just stuff that the two of you use together in that happy well-married couple kind of way. leather sex gear and condoms make more sense on a registry than grand theft auto

 

[Reggs]

Even though it's a normal thing to do, I have always thought it was kind of tacky.

 

[Concordia]

I've never liked the idea, but it's a useful way to make sure that you wind up with matching china and crystal that you don't hate.

When we were married, a lot of the guests were my wife's students, many of whom were not poor but without much money to spare. She chose a very simple china pattern that not only goes with many other things, but was not at all expensive per place setting. I think it took away the anxiety of gift-giving that sometimes occurs when you have lots of different income brackets.

 

[summej2]

If the two of you need to set up house, I say go for it.

In our case we were more in the position of getting rid of things in order to combine two households, so we asked people to make donations to causes we support. A few refused to comply and we ended up with a few items we gave away.

I think it makes sense to ask for quality stuff, but part of why we refused to give a list at all was that the few things would have seemed obscenely expensive to many of the guests. The whole dynamic that the custom of giving these gifts is predicated on was mostly inverted in our case.

 

[hookhook]

I've always felt odd about them. In one way they do seem tacky, yet its a good way to avoid ending up with 5 espresso machines.

 

[shoreman1782]

Thanks for the input, fellas. We already live together, so we have the basics of a house, which I guess complicates things a little. Many of the items we're registering for so far will replace old or otherwise craptastic household items/appliances. I wouldn't mind having a nice cuisinart to replace my cheap kmart food processor, for instance.

EDIT: i would not ask for video games unless that is something you and your wife plan on doing together. you don't register for ties and shoes either. just stuff that the two of you use together in that happy well-married couple kind of way. leather sex gear and condoms make more sense on a registry than grand theft auto

The wii thing was mostly a joke; I thought it was crazy that it was one of the top registry items on amazon!

 

[globetrotter]

When I got married I had been the wild bachlor of my group of friends for years - the asshole who would bring a set of lawn flamingos and a bottle of champagne as a wedding gift.

I really thought that the whole idea of registering was tacky, but my wife wanted to, so we did it.

having matured, I see that it was great for us, and it has been great for giving gifts to friends. I say do it, and spend a little time thinking about what you really want and need.

 

[Ambulance Chaser]

I read that the newest trend in wedding registries is registering a honeymoon. A guest can buy you, for example, a day trip to go snorkeling at your vacation destination. You might want to look into that if you already have most of the stuff you need.

 

[Matt]

Originally Posted by Ambulance Chaser

I read that the newest trend in wedding registries is registering a honeymoon. A guest can buy you, for example, a day trip to go snorkeling at your vacation destination. You might want to look into that if you already have most of the stuff you need.
I like this.

 

[Renault78law]

Originally Posted by Ambulance Chaser

I read that the newest trend in wedding registries is registering a honeymoon. A guest can buy you, for example, a day trip to go snorkeling at your vacation destination. You might want to look into that if you already have most of the stuff you need.

I did this, along with a regular registry at Bloomingdales. But if you find regular registries tacky, I can only imagine requesting cash (which is essentially what you are doing when you register for your honeymoon) would be worse.

 

[Quirk]

+1 on tacky but practical. It's a big favor to your guests, so they don't have to think or guess about what you'd really want, need, or might already have.

 

[SoCal2NYC]

When my bf and I get married I think we'll register at Barneys...for Thom Browne, Jil Sander, Alexander McQueen, Burberry Prorsum...that's ok, right?

 

[GQgeek]

OT, but I can't imagine what I'd put on my registry. I already have pretty much everything that could possibly go on one, down to the Wedgwood fine bone china, riedel, Kitchen Aid Pro 600, and nice sheets. Regardless, if/when I get married, it's gonna be on a beach somewhere with no/few guests and i'll make it an expensive beach to limit attendance.

There's not a chance in hell I'm doing the big ceremony thing.

 

[Financier]

Famous last words, CQgeek. You become smitten with a lady who wants a big ceremony, chances are you're having that big ceremony.