Wedding Gift Etiquette

[ehkay]

I think you should just print this thread, put it in a nice card, and tell them that you heard that it's the thought that counts.

 

[patrickBOOTH]

Ok, update!! I found out my father is giving my cousin $500. I shouldn't give more than that, right?

 

[ter1413]



Ok, update!! I found out my father is giving my cousin $500. I shouldn't give more than that, right?

Right.

 

[TheFoo]



Ok, update!! I found out my father is giving my cousin $500. I shouldn't give more than that, right?

Depends how Oedipal you are feeling.

 

[patrickBOOTH]

$501

 

[Piobaire]



Ok, update!! I found out my father is giving my cousin $500. I shouldn't give more than that, right?

You should offer to place the card on the gift table for him then open it up and add your name to the card.

 

[juncopardner]

Bumping this 'cause I have a similar question and don't really feel like it needs a new thread.

I'm in the wedding party for a wedding this weekend and am wondering what to spend. The wedding is in the Shenendoah Valley (ie, not a baller part of the country). A lot of their friends are fairly low earners working in restaurants, etc. The wedding itself is pretty cheap.

I'm wavering between $75-100. I feel like $100 may be double what others are giving and I would feel tacky by comparison. I do have a date but she is also friends with them so it's not really a true +1 as she would have been invited anyway. Thoughts?

I know this doesn't sound like much to the NYC crowd but ya know, we're a bunch of yokels down here.

 

[ter1413]



Bumping this 'cause I have a similar question and don't really feel like it needs a new thread.

I'm in the wedding party for a wedding this weekend and am wondering what to spend. The wedding is in the Shenendoah Valley (ie, not a baller part of the country). A lot of their friends are fairly low earners working in restaurants, etc. The wedding itself is pretty cheap. 

[COLOR=FF00AA]I'm wavering between $75-100.[/COLOR] I feel like $100 may be double what others are giving and I would feel tacky by comparison. I do have a date but she is also friends with them so it's not really a true +1 as she would have been invited anyway. Thoughts?

I know this doesn't sound like much to the NYC crowd but ya know, we're a bunch of yokels down here.

Then there is your answer.

 

[jcman311]

Uh, others wont find out what you are giving. Why would it be tacky to give $100, when others dont know. If they ask, lie. Its actually more tacky to ask what you gave. Just say "money". Im sure the couple would very much appreciate the gift.

 

[juncopardner]

True i guess my fear is that theyd see me give 100 then another groomsman give 50 and it might make him look bad in their eyes.

 

[ter1413]



True i guess my fear is that theyd see me give 100 then another groomsman give 50 and it might make him look bad in their eyes.

Why? They won't open the envelopes/cards there. Just give what you can and don't stress it.

 

[Sleeves345]

Just give what you can and don't stress it.

This is the answer to the entire thread.

When I got married, the amount of money given never changed the way I percieved my guests. Even less so did someone's gift change the way I percieved someone who didn't give as much. The degree to which I like you isn't tied to how much money you have.

Likewise, I was shocked when some people told me to keep a record of what my guests gave me at my wedding so I would know how much to give at theirs. That's BS. It isn't a game of one-upmanshp or keeping up with the Joneses. I give people a nice gift or an amount of money based on what I can afford. Nobody needs to be concerned with anything more than that.

 

[Joffrey]



True i guess my fear is that theyd see me give 100 then another groomsman give 50 and it might make him look bad in their eyes.

Why don't you put the money/check in an envelope? That way no one knows what's being given?

 

[ter1413]



Why don't you put the money/check in an envelope? That way no one knows what's being given?

Wait.......this ain't a given?

 

[patrickBOOTH]

I ended up giving $500 in all $1 notes in a large box.