Wedding attire ?

[Kisa]

Hello Everyone,

I am hoping some of you will be able to give me some practical style advice. My fiancÃ

and I are marrying in September. The ceremony will be in church at 4:30 PM (which, with daylight savings time, will definitely be broad daylight); the reception (cocktails, dinner, dancing) will be at 6:30 in a historic mansion on a college campus. I will be wearing a long dark ivory lace gown with a slight (sweep) train. I will not be wearing a veil. The matron of honor is wearing a floor length gown. The gentlemen in the wedding are the groom, the best man, and my nephew, who is walking me down the aisle. From the posts I have read here, it seems that the ideal attire would be a stroller for the ceremony and black tie for the reception. Unfortunately, our finances do not permit that. So it seems that a compromise would be a dark business suit. My problem with this is that we are in NY, the best man in NC and my nephew on the West Coast. Both my nephew and the best man have been out of work and just coming to NY for the wedding will put a strain on their finances. I would love to be able to pay for their suits; but we just can not afford that after all the other expenses of the wedding. I also know nothing of their taste in clothing and am not sure I want to just let them pick out what ever they prefer. So I had hoped that we could go to a nation-wide chain of men's rental clothing. I know, I know, I can hear the gnashing of teeth. I am just trying to work something out. Do any of you have any suggestions?

I am not sure if it is relevant; but perhaps you should know that I am 61, the groom 58, the best man 63?, the matron of honor 45, my nephew 52. So we are not the typical young bridal party.

Thank you so much for any advice you can give.

Kisa

P.S. What does SB mean? I keep seeing it here.

 

[Doc4]

Welcome, Kisa and congratulations.

The official Styleforum position is that if you do not get married in the daytime-appropriate semi-formal attire, purchased not rented, then the marriage doesn't count and you have to start all over again.

Just kidding.

Why not check with the two gentlemen and see if they have any suits or other clothing that will match with each other and 'fit' the occasion? Given the tight financial circumstances of all involved, the fact that (a) you can afford the wedding and (b) they can afford to come in my book gives you all a little lattitude on what is appropriate attire. IF they all have suits that are "close enough" then maybe getting them matching ties would be a nice touch to tie (haha) it all in together. Or if not, maybe look at a more informal sort of dress ... black cotton turtlenecks might go well, if that isn't too informal considering your elegant gown.

Sorry I can't answer your question more directly about where they could rent suits nationwide, but just trying to think outside the box a bit.



Oh, and SB = single breasted and DB = double breasted (re suit jackets &c)

 

[MrDaniels]

If you are having what is generally an evening affair, it is OK to simply wear evening clothes for the ceremony and reception. The exact time does not make a difference. You could have a ceremony at 7 pm in the summer and it could be broad daylight or you could have it at 4pm in the winter and it could be dark out...exact timing should not matter. Is there a "rule" regarding wearing evening formal wear during before 6 pm? Yes, but only the truly obsessive would care...people are accustomed to seeing the male members of a wedding party in tuxedos for noon weddings, so no one (aside from some VERY OCD fuddy-duddies on this site) will think anything of it.

 

[tgt465]

Originally Posted by MrDaniels

If you are having what is generally an evening affair, it is OK to simply wear evening clothes for the ceremony and reception.

Missed the OP's point totally.

You can buy suits for less than $100. It will be polyester, but given the circumstances that would probably be the best you can do. I don't know of any nationwide rental place either, but I doubt you can find rentals for much less than that. I have heard Target suit separates are well-recommended for very tight budgets for $90.

If you can stretch a bit, JC Penney has wool suits that you can get for $130. If it means anything, I believe JC Penney suiting has the distinction of being mentioned in the book "The Millionaire Next Door" as what many of the self-made wealthy actually wear.

If you have time and can wait for sales, you might be able to save a little bit more, too.

 

[MrDaniels]

Originally Posted by tgt465

Missed the OP's point totally.


Oh really? Her entire thinking was based on the fact that she thought it was required to have two sets of clothing for each member of the wedding party. And then you go and suggest JC Penny as a viable place to get suits? You are either a spammer, or very VERY stupid.

 

[tgt465]

Originally Posted by MrDaniels

Oh really? Her entire thinking was based on the fact that she thought it was required to have two sets of clothing for each member of the wedding party. And then you go and suggest JC Penny as a viable place to get suits? You are either a spammer, or very VERY stupid.

1) OP mentions they cannot afford to buy suits. Do you think they can afford black tie instead?

2) I'd like to hear why you think JC Penney is not viable. Like I said, it's not ideal but given a low budget it works.

3) I never insulted you. Please show some decorum.

 

[TimelesStyle]

Jos. A Bank will be much better than Penny's or Target. Sometimes they have specials where it's like three suits for $600 and you can purchase separates (to minimize tailoring) and get everyone the same suit (or different suits). Often even applies to tuxedos as well. Perhaps you can split the cost with the best man and nephew? If they're out of work and looking, having a decent suit in the closet won't be the worst thing, either.

 

[MrDaniels]

Originally Posted by tgt465

2) I'd like to hear why you think JC Penney is not viable. Like I said, it's not ideal but given a low budget it works. 3) I never insulted you. Please show some decorum.
Persons who think JC Penny is viable should not be lecturing on decorum.

 

[MrDaniels]

Originally Posted by tgt465

1) OP mentions they cannot afford to buy suits. Do you think they can afford black tie instead?


Sadly, no. But since she mentioned RENTING clothing I assumed she might just do that.

 

[tgt465]

Originally Posted by MrDaniels

Persons who think JC Penny is viable should not be lecturing on decorum.

I see. So people who cannot afford high quality clothing do not deserve to be treated politely, is that what you're saying?

 

[MrDaniels]

No, I am saying that people who are new to a board should not tell a veteran poster that they are "missing the OP's point totally" if they expect to be treated in a welcoming and friendly manner.

And one may note, I gave very friendly and kind advice in a polite manner to the OP.

Now why don't you run off to JC Penny and give yourself a makeover? Or maybe if you are feeling REALLY randy, maybe even SEARS!!!!

 

[tgt465]

Originally Posted by MrDaniels

No, I am saying that people who are new to a board should not tell a veteran poster that they are "missing the OP's point totally" if they expect to be treated in a welcoming and friendly manner.

And one may note, I gave very friendly and kind advice in a polite manner to the OP.

Now why don't you run off to JC Penny and give yourself a makeover? Or maybe if you are feeling REALLY randy, maybe even SEARS!!!!

Like I said, I don't believe your advice addresses the OP's situation at all. You were quite kind to the OP (though not to me), however the advice was not useful.

Please stop the personal attacks. I would be glad to discuss clothing, but not trade insults.

 

[AncientSoul]

Kisa,

Doc4 is right on the money with his advice. Ask the gentlemen about the suits they have in their closets and pick the darkest ones. You could buy them matching ties like Doc said, although it's not necessary.

Buying an inexpensive suit is also a viable option since a long time service from the suit is not needed.

I would not recommend the rental route.

And congratulations

 

[MrDaniels]

Originally Posted by tgt465

Like I said, I don't believe your advice addresses the OP's situation at all. You were quite kind to the OP (though not to me), however the advice was not useful.

Please stop the personal attacks. I would be glad to discuss clothing, but not trade insults.

Who the hell asked you to comment on advice given to someone else? And how do you know the advice was not useful as it was not your issue nor directed towards you in the first place?

And considering what kind of "advice" you have given so far, you'd do far less damage to this woman's wedding by engaging in an insult exchange with me. But I will no longer respond to you nonsense...I have better things to do than exchange unpleasantries with a person like yourself who clearly has a bad case of Internet Asperger's.

 

[acridsheep]

Kisa, congratulations! I don't have much in the way of great advice (other than to ignore the bickering on this thread), but I wanted to add that it is so nice to hear a bride actually care about the clothing worn by the groom/groomsmen. In the bridezilla era, it's nice to observe some equanimity!